this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2025
355 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

13022 readers
1551 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 24 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 141 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Mark Zuckerberg whining about a lack of privacy has broken my irony meter.

I better get it fixed so one of tomorrow’s headlines can break it again.

[–] cm0002 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're still taking it in to get fixed‽ I gave up on it after having to take it in for the hundredth time since the 20th

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

This is the only time buying the extended warranty has been worth it

[–] InternetCitizen2 6 points 1 day ago

Its almost poetic.

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen 58 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

A CEO of a company who has ruined privacy wants privacy. Hmm. It is always about him. He does not know and will never choose to know how real people live. His wealth makes our lives worse, with every passing minute. Billionaires shouldn't exist.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 day ago (1 children)

is that leakage largely masculine or feminine ?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

It seems like it's non-binary! 🥁

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Well, Zuck, you run a company that provides videoconference services. It's possible for a videoconference service to digitally-watermark the audio and video sent to a given user. If you figure that maybe other organizations would like to avoid leaks of their videoconferences too, that might be something to look into as a service to provide.

Companies make money by providing solutions to problems. You've got a problem, which means that you probably also have an opportunity.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

Is Trumps orange face some sort of contagious skin disease?

[–] motor_spirit 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Why does he look like Andy Dick's cousin trying to do his worst zuck cosplay. Dude's a trip

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Every oligarch looks like a lizard person cosplaying a human

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

No Zuckerberg is 100% a robot.

[–] aeronmelon 1 points 1 day ago

It's the Edger skin suit the bug in Men In Black was wearing, slowly decaying as the film progressed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

At least Dick provided value to society by being funny sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago

any actual link to the adio or am I no scripting it out of the archive site?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Leak what he says in his sleep next.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago

It's not very interesting, just the Windows XP shutdown and startup sounds.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

It's him, he's doing it himself. He wants the attention.

[–] solomon42069 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Zuck is the sexual abstinence clown. No one can get horny with that face around!

[–] Hobbes_Dent 4 points 1 day ago

Because bullshit is less viscous

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Outside of some types of geopolitical / strategic maneuvers, it’s pretty much never a good thing when something being “leaked” causes you problems. And it’s pretty much never that, when something “leaks.” If someone wants to distribute that information, I assume they can sell it to your adversaries, quietly, and you’ll never know.

The public leaks are pretty much always that you’re up to some heinous shit, and the public finds out as they should, and then you set up a high whining sound that you should be exempt from scrutiny or opposition, because you’re above those people, and you should be able to cheat and disrespect them without consequence, because you’re too special to have to take part in society except from far above it, safe.

[–] cheese_greater 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Did he get a hair transplant? Was looking pretty roman(emperor-esque)previously

[–] aeronmelon 1 points 1 day ago

Those of us whom have straight hair when it's short, but insanely curly hair when it's long.