Jerking off?
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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I use the force trying to itch my Balls unnoticed in the Office. But then accidentally choke them and immediately cum and I release. The spontaneous flow of blood causes an Aneurysm and I die.
Since no one know I used the force it just looked like I spontaneously came so hard I died.
that's beautiful. leave the world the same way you came.
confused, wet, and sticky.
I'm going to use Jedi mind tricks on myself.
I'd force project myself like a hologram in front of a ton of enemies, get shot at for awhile, but don't worry I'll be fine I'm just a force projection. But then it turns out force projecting myself is really hard, so I'll die anyway about 5 minutes later. That seems peak useless.
Sequels in a nutshell
The Last Jedi in particular sucked balls. TFA was good.
Boss: "Good work today. Why don't you head home a little early."
Me: uses jedi mind trick "You need me to stay late and run TPS reports."
Force pull, but only on objects less than 20cm from my hand.
That's enough to do some practical stuff. Go to Vegas and mess with some gambling machines.
Mostly electronic these days. Won't help with much.
Step 1: Find a house with cats
Step 2: Make sure the humans are in the vicinity of the cats
Step 3: Lift the cats up in the air and jedi-mind trick them to meow loudly
Step 4: Gently put them back on a high platform (like on a table)
Step 5: ???
Step 6: Cats get worshipped as deities?
I would pull down on grocery bags so they are harder to lift.
Slice bread from a distance?
What about cutting a pear, badly when someone has a perfectly functional knife.
Bring down airplanes like Galen Marek did.
Force push the gas tank door on other people's cars open
Force pushing other people's keyboards so they're always mistyping
Force poop down people’s ass in the streets.
Some would even have the right for the in and out treatment, so they get crazy getting fucked by their own shit.