You get one sheet of the Death Note (A4 sized), what do you do with it? : asklemmy

[–] WoodScientist 8 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

_______________________________, by autoerotic asphyxiation

...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

Good start, but change them all to "by testicular/ovarian devastation" and then write in the names of every billionaire on earth followed by their closest relatives out to about 3 degrees of separation.

Might even fix some overcrowding

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

First on my list would be, just as an experiment, someone completely random I find online just to see what happens. You know, something that would somehow end up making major news, news big enough that I'd hopefully see it when my dad watches the nightly news. Just to see that the page works. My parents would never find the page since they don't go through my stuff, so I'd be safe there. Just gotta make sure nobody sees it through a camera, so phone and laptop out of the way when I write. Definitely burn it after it's all used up and everyone on it is dead to ensure nobody sees it. Wouldn't be that hard for me to put it in my pyrex bowl and light it up.

After confirming it works, get to work on some of the people I wanna see gone for whatever reason. If a torn/cut off piece works, you bet I'd take some lines and cut them before cutting those into smaller pieces. Then store them in my wallet for any time I'm out and about and have a surprise Mormon missionary pop up on me. Sounds cruel, but I ain't got time for them and don't know how to effectively tell them no. Just have to have them sign the slips, with me asking for an autograph or something before I leave.

The rest would go to various people. I think some of my biggest targets would be looking up the mega pastors here in America and having them reveal to all their followers that they have been scammed the whole time, calling them the dumbest sheeple on the planet before ending themselves somehow. Mega pastors deserve it for stealing money from the gullible.

Next would be a large group of CEOs from large tech firms. They'd probably have enough time to clear their schedules and meet up with each other, so there would be a livestreamed MMA match to the death, after telling the world how they've defrauded everyone and that the class war is on because after the match they're sending kill squads to eradicate the poor. So probably have them use their wealth to try and coordinate that as well and set it up so it doesn't actually happen, but that they planned on making it happen, with verifiable messaging/email to prove it. Really set the world up for chaos, I guess. Winner of the match would just kill themselves, I guess, IDK what they would do if anything. CEOs like the gøøg|e, amazøn, twatter, fakebook, redd¡t, and maybe a few others sound good to me because they definitely screw over loads of people.

I think my 3rd set would just be a single target if I could figure out who they are. Just gotta figure out who the head of the American branch of scientology is so I could make that fool reveal all the crimes he is able to reveal that the wackjob cult has ever committed here in America by making sure they're all made publicly available by making the records public domain and widely available while also making him get rid of their tax exempt status by having people lobbying the government to permanently remove it forever to add insult to injury. Let the people know what that cult is all about while simultaneously ruining them.

Though, after that, cannot think of any other local (country wide) targets, so from there, probably go after some big names I cannot say because I don't feel comfortable saying. Politicians and dictators are a scary thing to have hunting you over the fact you make a post about wanting them gone, so I'mma end it there.

Don't know how possible some of this would be, but you gotta admit it would bring chaos to our world and really shake up the status quo having all these things happen.

[–] surph_ninja 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Just copy the Forbes richest people list.

[–] Makhno 3 points 19 hours ago

Yup, and add in world leaders if there is still room on the page

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

The thing that's always interested me is that you can choose how they die, but surely there are limits?

Could i say 'dead by gunshot wound to the back?' Is there a bullet left over? A gunman seen fleeing the scene?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

It has to be plausable.

If there is not gun around, they just die by heart attack.

Example: If you write: "dead by Car Accident" and the victim is the middle of nowhere where its implausible for a car to be nearby, they just die of a heart attack.

A plausible seanario you could write is: "death by gunshot wound; purchases a gun and attempts to use the gun to commit bank robbery, is shot dead after shooting at responding law enforcement officers and misses, provoking a deadly return fire in response" (the bullets shot at law enforcement had to miss, since the death note cannot make a target kill other people)

[–] nycki 22 points 1 day ago

i dont care to play god. but i will play new super luigi u.

[–] Nibodhika 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Lots of people here forget that you can control the actions of the person before they die. If you go by the richest persons, like someone suggested, you get them to liquidate and donate their entire state, or maybe a bunch at the same time to lobby for taxes to the mega rich, before dying. If you go by world leaders, like someone else suggested, you get them to undo their shits, e.g. Putin abandons Ukraine and destroys most of Russia's armaments before joining NATO, Kim Jong Un calls for democratic elections and forms a democratic government after opening the borders, etc.

[–] WoodScientist 3 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Unfortunately you need to keep in mind that transfers and donations can be reversed posthumously. If a gunman walks up to a billionaire, forces him to transfer millions to his bank account, and then shoots him dead, the killer doesn't just get to keep the money after getting caught. Any transfer can be reversed after the fact. And you only have a few minutes of controlling the person before they die, so you can't have them work for years to do good with their money.

If just one billionaire died this way, the transfers would likely stand. It can be written off as one man deciding to gain a conscience before taking his own life. But if hundreds of billionaires start doing this all at once? People are reasonably going to conclude that something or someone is controlling these billionaires. Maybe people actually accept the fantastical notion of a Death Note in play. Or maybe they conclude its something strange but more scientific, like some sort of infectious electronic meme that can instantly brainwash people into carrying out some action. Maybe there's a hereto undiscovered arrangement of pixels on a screen that can hack the human mind and gain control of it temporarily. The sort of thing that, while implausible, is at least within the realm of scientific possibility.

Regardless of the exact cause, the heirs to these billionaires will go to court and argue that their deceased relatives were clearly not of sound mind at the time they transferred all their holdings. There's already plenty of legal precedent for this, primarily for elderly people who lose their faculties and are taken advantage of by manipulative caretakers. Even if you can convince some 90 year old woman with Alzheimer's to sign away her fortune to you, that transfer has a good chance of being reversed in court.

Really, the most effective way to provide extreme encouragement for the heirs to give away money is by having the billionaire write, in their own blood on the wall, "my heirs should give away my money. Any that don't will share my fate."

This way there are no transfers to fight in court. The legitimate heirs of the billionaire do inherit the money. But after they have it, there's nothing preventing them from donating it themselves. And the money will be like a curse. They'll be desperate to get rid of it.

Done on a large scale, this would encourage most billionaires to give up their wealth voluntarily. You could have each of them write, "I am being killed for the crime of being a billionaire. Any other billionaire will share my fate." If a few dozen such killings happened, and the police proved utterly unable to prevent it, then the vast majority of billionaires would give up their wealth voluntarily out of pure fear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

And you only have a few minutes of controlling the person before they die

23 days to be exact

[–] WoodScientist 2 points 18 hours ago

That might be usable. But still, well within the range of reversible transactions and court litigation.

[–] Nibodhika 0 points 16 hours ago

You can control them for days, so it's a lot more difficult to undo stuff that was given almost a month ago, you can use cryptocurrency so that it doesn't matter what any court decides it's irreversible. But in general I agree with you that scaring them into giving all of their money voluntarily is more useful, however I don't see any reason why you can't make them give all of their money and also a warning to others, that is a lot more scary because even if you fought in court to get that money back you would immediately donate it all and die, so eventually people would not try to pursue those cases. And the fact that they had to originally leaves a clear public paper trail to track the inheritance, which would otherwise be impossible, so rich people would just hide their wealth.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Lots of people here forget that you can control the actions of the person before they die.

I did almost forget, thanks for the reminder. I just looked it up again, specifically you can control 23 days.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago

Kim Jong Un calls for democratic elections and forms a democratic government after opening the borders

He'd get couped by the generals and they'll instate someone else. You'd have to write the key generals too. You could run out of space to write real soon. And you'd have to hope their sucessors actually continue the trajectory after 23 days (since kim and the generals be dead)

[–] wildcardology 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not familiar with death note so excuse my ignorance.

Can I use a typewriter or a printer on it or does it have to be handwritten?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

The exact rule is:

The human whose name is written in this note shall die.

I'm not sure if printing counts. Since thats you instructing a non-living object to spill ink on to a page, not technically "writing"

[–] Tattorack 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It depends on how small you write, I suppose.

If you just want people to die, you can put down quite the massacre on both sides of an A4 page.

However, if you want people do to specific things before they die, like billionaires redisteubuting their personal wealth, or steer world leaders to reverse a lot of their bullshit, you're going to have to get very creative with your wording to optimise as much page space as possible.

[–] WoodScientist 1 points 18 hours ago

It depends on how small you write, I suppose.

I see I'm gonna need to buy a microfiche printer...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well first, spend a long time practicing tiny handwriting. Like, let's make the absolute most use out of this sheet as possible; it's possible to get the size of handwritten characters down to about 3mm, but let's say 4 with the assumption that I can't get it down that low. That means I have about 74 lines vertically to write in, each line able to accommodate somewhere between 70 and 52 characters, depending on the width. Let's average it to 60 characters per line, so 74x60 = 4,440 characters, times two for two sides of the page. Average number of characters per name is 7, so 14, plus two for spaces, and let's add another two for a middle initial and another space. That's 18 characters per name. This means I should be able to fit just under 500 names on the page if I use both sides as efficiently as possible.

I'll get the list of the 500 richest people in the world, and start going down it from richest on down. But not all at once. First the top name. One week later, the next name. One week after that, the next name down, and so on. After a few weeks the pattern would become obvious and we see what happens. Sadly I have no magical knowledge of who is the richest person at any given moment, so I have to just go off the list I already possess (or any new information I decide to be sufficiently trustworthy). One every week for five hundred names is 3,500 days, or 9.5 years. That is long enough to make it quite apparent this is inevitable and make it seem like it's going to continue forever, and it's long enough for legislation and other things to be done in response. Let's see how they freak out and what they try to do in response.

[–] Bademantel 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I love the idea! It would be fascinating to see how the richest humans alive try to give away as much money as possible, as quickly as possible. I'd watch that show. Hell, I might want to live in that reality!

[–] WoodScientist 1 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

It would be fascinating to see how the richest humans alive try to give away as much money as possible, as quickly as possible.

It's called Brewster's Millions.

[–] DragonsInARoom 1 points 17 hours ago

Kms

[–] 2ugly2live 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Honestly? I would start picking off officials. I would try and like... Persona 5 it. Send a warning to, say, Trump. "Do ___ by ____ or else" kind of thing. They don't follow through, I take them out. And just keep going until they start listening. Universal health care. No? Alright, I'm going to start picking off those opposed. 100% tax on money over a billion (honestly, I feel like couple million would suffice) . No? You know the drill. Pretty much hold officials ransom until they start fixing shit. I would stay vigilante. Not to make sure everyone is following the same rules or government, but if someone tries to pass a law to ban abortion in there country? Let me grab a pen.

I would even be open to submission, like a "Hell Girl" situation. Of course, not "so and so is stealing my boyfriend" but more, "this company continues to dump in our wager supply." I would use a very fine tipped pen if pencil wasn't allowed. I would hopefully get to spears it out over years so, by the time it's full, people can be used to being treated like people, hopefully. The idea of someone trying to lobby for a return to the health insurance modem would be a cause for mass strike, riots even. They wouldn't dare, because I would be watching.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

I love the idea of sending them a heads-up and demands.

[–] thermal_shock 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

if I were born before the internet, I would be a serial killer doing the exact same thing, driving the road taking out animal abusers, people who have cheated the system, started genocide, etc. and have zero issues doing it. now? you might get 1 before your face is plasted everywhere, as we just saw.

I'd leave reasons why they were deleted too, so everyone knows to stop with the bullshit or they could be next.

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[–] TheBananaKing 57 points 1 day ago (13 children)

First thing, I'm buying the finest fineliner I can, go for 4-6 columns on the page.

Then I'm writing in billionaires, one a week, after making them cosign a suicide note that the deaths will stop once wealth distribution flattens the fuck out, there's a full UBI everywhere and fossil fuels are history.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Nothing

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[–] NineMileTower 6 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I just write, "FLORIDA".

[–] GreenKnight23 4 points 1 day ago

Instructions unclear. Killed every single "FLORIDA" key chain instead.

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