I want to make a brand called "I know for a fact, this is not butter."
this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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Dang, it just says failed to load media
a brand of cheese called "i don't think this is butter"
A brand of mustard called "I'm pretty sure it's not butter"
"oh god this isn't butter"
and fuck it, let's just go full circle
A brand of actual butter called "oh hey this is butter"
A brand of axle grease called "What idiot told you this was butter?!"
A lootbox where it says "Chance to win butter!" And it's jars of random household pastes, creams, and gels. edible or not.
A thicker brand of lubricant called "Butt Butter", or perhaps "butter? i barely know 'er!"
Sorry not sorry, "Goes in like butter"
Lmao even better
Everything is cake, and cake is just butter. Sugar is just to make butter taste better, and flour is just to give it structure so you can share the sugar butter.
Actually, if you consider the definition of a butter to be solid fat filtered from homogeneous liquids and whipped into solidity, then a lot of stuff is in fact butter.
I feel like maybe I'm butter.
This makes me feel butter
like what? Meringue?
I think egg whites have a bit more complexity than fat structure so it is debatable.
well why would i do that now
OK. Yeah. But not everything is roughly the colour, shape, consistency, feel and taste of butter. I don't pick up and eat a chocolate bar and be like, holy shit this is almost exactly like butter, I can't believe it isn't!
the capitalist raccoon really doesn’t have the best takes
OK. Yeah. But not everything is roughly the colour, shape, consistency, feel and taste of butter. I don’t pick up and eat a chocolate bar and be like, holy shit this is almost exactly like butter, I can’t believe it isn’t!
Out of literally anything in the world, you picked an object that is honestly the roughly the same shape, consistency and feel, as chocolate is mostly just fat.
Like... a car isn't butter. A shoe isn't butter. From any of their qualities. Unless they're butter-coloured, I guess.
And yet you still wouldn't mistake it for butter, making it the perfect example.
If youre blindfolded and it's frozen, you definitely could before tasting it.
A blind person sticking a spoon into slightly warm chocolate or room temperatures butter wouldn't know until they touched it with their tongue.
But like, a towel is something you would never mistake for butter unless you had had a lot of psychedelics and a fair bit of dissociatives.
I dunno... "if you follow these strict temperature rules and intentionally don't use one or more of your senses, you won't believe it's not butter!" doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
"strict temperature rules" = not room temperature? if it's hot or cold, chocolate feels the same. it's only specifically at room temp that butter is soft and chocolate isn't as soft.
If you say, keep them in the fridge, they'll be about as equally hard.
At least "might confuse them" close enough to hardness.
I just don't know why you picked an item that's essentially 95% the same as butter when you could've picked literally anything else. Like a sock. A computer. Hell even something edible. An orange. Celery. Maybe something alive? An ant? I would never confuse a live ant for butter, no matter which senses I lacked. I have however confused chocolate for butter on occasion while going to the fridge in the dark while high as balls and having had custom melted chocolate next to a dish of butter for cooking. And I have all my senses. So...