this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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[–] SzethFriendOfNimi 133 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.

Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.

[–] Contramuffin 26 points 1 month ago

This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.

[–] slazer2au 82 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.

Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.

[–] olafurp 13 points 1 month ago

I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This looks like the right one.

[–] ByteJunk 5 points 1 month ago

Depends on context. If it's after a bad blunder it's probably a poor reply, because it makes it seem like you're trying to cover it up.

"I need my coffee" has never failed me!

[–] Lasherz12 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."

[–] SpaceNoodle 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".

In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."

In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."

In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."

This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.

[–] SpaceNoodle 4 points 1 month ago

To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.

[–] MehBlah 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"

"But today is Wednesday"

"I call it third Monday"

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[–] jadedwench 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.

I am too burnt out today.

I can't focus on that right now.

I am not functional enough for that.

I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

All of those make the person seem incapable or otherwise unable to fulfill their daily activities/roles. I dunno I think this wouldn't be great to say unless maybe you were legitimately sick. There are times you just gotta suck it up and get er done.

[–] jadedwench 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not when you are a developer trying to write code for a critical part of the system. Sucking it up isn't going to make it magically happen and it will be a mess.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"

[–] Atlusb 18 points 1 month ago

"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"

[–] someguy3 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Zachariah 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."

I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea

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[–] caveman8000 13 points 1 month ago

Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.

[–] ChillPenguin 13 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Then there's me. Who's not smart AND my brain is fried. AMA

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.

[–] NABDad 8 points 1 month ago

Think no. Brain not good.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"

It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I work smarter not harder

[–] SpiceDealer 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)

[–] Contramuffin 6 points 1 month ago

When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"

[–] lath 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

"Thank you for your patience"

[–] HexesofVexes 3 points 1 month ago

Sorry but my burnout quotient is too damn high today. Leave it with me and I'll ponder it while I grab an emergency tea.

[–] IMongoose 3 points 1 month ago

I've seen

I am at capacity

And

My head is full

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"

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