Ask Lemmy

Scary Movie and Avengers. I know Scary Movie is a parody but it's just to much parody for me tbh.

Much of this thread be like...

Not one comment in here about Lord of the Rings.

Which I agree with. Amazing movies. Glad everyone's on the same page.

For me, it's James Cameron's Avatar. Visually stunning, especially for its time, but the story has to be the most cliche, predictable, boring, lazy piece of writing to ever have existed. It's like they held an environmentally conscious 11 year old at gun point and made them write a story. The cigar chomping military guy working for corpos wants to pilfer a beautiful planet for its resources with disregard for the native populations that live there. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, ALL AROUND ME, EVERY FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY. Get an original idea.

Fuck this stupid piece of shit dumbass movie. It's intellectually insulting. It's a disgrace.

/endrant

I like these threads when people complain that “old classic movie” is formulaic and trope ridden or unoriginal… seemingly forgetting these films set the tropes, formulas and genres that all subsequent film makers hopped-on. That’s why, in retrospect, it appears clunky.

In another similar thread somebody said the band Queen were boring… yeah, maybe now. But fifty years ago when they first released? Not so much.

Marvel movies. Yes all of them. They're trash. It's just cgi slop, badly written one-dimensional characters, cliché tropes, formulaic stories, plotholes bigger than meteorcraters and brainless action sequences. A cashgrab.

A saw a couple; I gave them a fair chance. They're all the same. The appeal is beyond me. Brainrot at its finest.

Deadpool.

I’m not sure if I absolutely hate it, but I definitely don’t get the hype—especially with Deadpool and Wolverine. There were some funny bits, but I feel like most of it is almost Family Guy-tier reference humor.

The plot feels as unimportant as ever—there are no real stakes or anything significant going on. It’s all about the "jokes," fourth wall breaks (which get tiresome almost immediately), and Ready Player One-level "recognize the character" moments.

Maybe the last part is the biggest reason why I don’t connect with it. I’ve never really been into comics outside of film and television. But I feel like that shouldn’t be the main driving force for a movie anyway—or at least not for a good movie. Like, Ready Player One was fun, but not good.

Harry Potter.

Before JK went mask off, I had dropped the books about half way though for being increasing annoyed with how they ended. Never any change to the status quo except Harry actually regressing in character development. I watched the first movie, but that was around when I dropped the books and never looked back.

I was able to just quietly keep my opinions to myself, but with with JK becoming increasing unhinged with both her tweets and books, I haven't felt the need to be polite with the "separate the art from the artists" types. Especially when they just assume that you're a fan if you don't correct them.

Saw.

It is on the very tiny list of movies that I am actively angry I watched because I'm never getting that time back. It is one of the single worst movies on "Tell don't show" that I felt like I was being actively gaslit by the writers because what they were telling was opposite of what they were showing.

"Jigsaw tricks people into killing his victims" says the cops, and says all the people watching the movie. NO. He kills people and gives them a potential for a way out. Setting up a maze with cutting wire and a door sealing off if you don't make it in time isn't "tricking someone" it's killing them with extra steps. It's like blaming fucking landmine victims "Well if they didn't step there they'd be okay". Legit the logic that movie gives I find my blood pressure rising just going into it again.

And the ending. I guess spoiler if you haven't seen the movie, I'm not gonna bother to figure out the formatting for it so here's your warning to stop reading. The surprise twist was why my friends made me watch this movie, the logic above was explained and how clever Jigsaw was they said I'd like it. I'm not a horror guy but I love Scream because holy fuck it was clever and well done. Saw, the victims are looking for where Jigsaw is watching them and I just said "He's the dead guy in the middle of the room." and questioned why would I come to that so early in the movie my reasoning was simple. It was a dumb movie that was up its own ass so much to say that it was clever that was the obvious "clever" haha we got you option it could be. Anything else would have actually been clever.

I compare Scream and Saw so much. Scream is a very clever movie masquerading as a dumb movie that deconstructs a genre and pulls of a fantastic twist that if you didn't see it coming will shock you and when you go back there's all sorts of clues. Hell, part of the twist is realizing they put thought into the killer instead of just "slasher villain #85" that the genre had done for so long, but if you know what's happening the movie is winking with you with such amazingly dumb and clever things like "He's behind you Jamie". Saw is a dumb movie that masquerades as smart, it wants to be clever and philosophize at you and wants to pull off a twist that is unearned because there's no clues for the twist, so unless you watch a lot of movies and realize this one is up its own ass, of course you're going to be surprised. It's like a guy who built a tesla coil and (think he) knows how it works and no one else does so he shows up in a cheap top hat and a wand and expects everyone to applaud like he's David Copperfield. Sure, everyone loves tesla coils, but that reaction is unearned.

From what I understand from others who've seen the rest, even what little cleverness goes away on the character and it just becomes a show to watch more elaborate ways to see people get hurt. It's the only way I can comprehend that the series is loved by as many as it is. I work in healthcare, I can see plenty of that on the day to day basis.

Anything by JJ Abrams. He only knows how to start his shitty mystery box plots but never finish them.

Ted.

Juvenile fratboy humour done badly, very badly with lots of fan services to get the brainless cheering.

Made me laugh once in the first few minutes (I can't even remember the joke) and walked out of the cinema after about an hour.

Elf.

Once you’ve seen the first 3 minutes and get the premise, then the entire rest of the film is so predictable in its jokes and situations that I derived absolutely zero pleasure from watching it and it just grated the entire way through.

Films can be funny because the initial premise leads to really entertaining, unexpected or clever situations… or a film can super straight up and shallow in its humour.

I really don’t get why Elf is so incredibly popular.

The Greatest Showman is a masterclass in style over substance—a glittery spectacle that sacrifices depth and integrity for catchy tunes and flashy visuals. Beneath its feel-good facade lies a shallow, formulaic narrative that romanticizes P.T. Barnum’s exploitative history while failing to give meaningful voices to the marginalized characters it claims to celebrate.

The musical numbers, though undeniably infectious, feel jarringly modern and out of place, prioritizing audience pandering over authenticity. Despite its popularity, the film’s sanitized themes and lack of emotional nuance reveal it as more empty circus than cinematic triumph.

If you’re looking for substance, you’ll find the tent empty.

Saving Private Ryan

I like Spielberg, but compared to others in the war drama genre like Band of Brothers or Full Metal Jacket, SPR is laughably bad.

The tone of the movie, trying to be more inspirational than realistic, was awkward at best. Acting was pretty mediocre, probably because the script and characters were 1 dimensional.

It completely disregards the historical context of the war. You could watch this movie and learn absolutely nothing about the history of WWII.

Now Band of Brothers. That was some amazing retelling of true war stories. It wasn't trying to be inspirational. It was just honest about the chaos and brutality of war. That made it harrowing heartbreaking, infuriating, and inspirational all at once.

It's kind of interesting how the reasons people dislike things range from "it sucks" to "here is a carefully constructed argument showing why the film's thesis promotes toxic ideas of etc etc"

Also interesting when someone's reasons for hating something are someone's reason for loving it. Like a review says "It's full of sad gay shit" and one chunk of people are going to boo and the other are going to perk right up.

Elf.

Oppenheimer.

It's probably an interesting movie, but holy shit each shot is less than 3 seconds long and it just cuts around to different camera angles every 3 seconds for 2 hours...

Not only was this making me feel physically sick and disoriented, but this erodes tension in the film and is completely unnecessary. You don't need 14 shots of someone walking down a damn hallway or having a think, you need one (1).

Take all that shit out and you're probably left with a story worth actually telling.

Lord of the ring. I think I just don't like this kind of movies.

Pretty much any of the popular comedy movies. The Hangover, Hot Tub Time Machine, Elf, etc.

If you think Ernest Cline's movie is cringy, wait until you read his poetry. Absolutely one of the worst piece of writing I've ever read.

And it only gets worse from there.

Not really hate but, I just don’t love. Inside out. I find that the metaphor of little people living in Riley’s head removes agency from her and makes it seem like people are just mech suits for tiny people that make the real decisions. I’m indifferent to this movie.

The nightmare before christmas. IDK maybe i've been exposed to it too much but I have never gotten an ounce of enjoyment watching the movie. The songs are lame and the plot is mind numbingly simple, you know so the kids can follow. So many people in my life just love it and want to make watching it every year for both halloween and christmas a tradition thing. I don't want to be a kill joy so I power through it every year. Im so tired of it though, How many more times do I have to hear that barrage of stupid disney sing songs just to spend time with my loved ones? "WhAt's ThiS TheRes WhitE Stuff EverYWHEre!" Fuck you jack skellington you sheltered prick. Its called cocaine and its how santa and his elves get shit done. Now travel around a few other holiday trees and do some world building so Disney can pump out a half baked sequel else they might go for a live action remake starring photorealistic cgi stitched together corpses.

A Christmas Story

I have never been able to watch the whole thing. Ralphie's whining and dull life was just unpleasant. I didn't really like any of the characters. Nothing in it was entertaining except for the kid and the pole. It was just a slog. I think the furthest I ever got was at a scene about a parade?

It seems like this is a really popular movie but I just never saw the appeal.

American Hustle.

I’ve never been so aware that I was watching a movie with actors on set in my life. I was so distracted by the sensation that eventually I completely lost the thread of the plot and wasn’t even sure who was scamming who anymore by the end. Then it went on to the Oscars lmfao.

Luckily Amy Adams won be back over with Arrival!

I know I'll get shit, but Pulp Fiction sucks. It's not about anything, Bruce Willis adds nothing to the film at all, and it's confusing to watch without having any real reason to be or payoff.

The worst part is that it's one of those things where if you don't like it, the fans just belittle you and claim you're "Just not smart enough to get it man." or they'll be passive aggressive about it. "Oh it's okay, my ditzy blonde girlfriend doesn't get it either." or "Not every movie can be about guns and shit, I know you stopped paying attention after the opening."

It's a shame because it was hyped up to me as one of the best movies of all time, and I try to watch it thinking this time it will click, this time I can see what the fuss is about.

And each time, it's just as terrible as I remember for all the same reasons as last time.

While on this subject It's a TV Show and not a movie, but I legitimately believe Andor is one of the worst pieces of Star Wars media ever created and if given the choice I'd sooner watch the Holiday Special because at least it's entertainingly bad. Instead of being a god damn hour straight of characters marching like they're at a military parade just to get to a boring shoot-out at a heist where everyone dies, only unlike when everyone dies in the heist in Rogue One, I don't shed a single tear because everyone involved with said heist has done absolutely nothing but bitch at Andor for not being "one of the cool kids" so if I'm feeling any emotion it's annoyance that my time getting to know these losers was completely wasted and relief that such unlikable characters are dead.

But hey, at least it only ruined Cassian Andor, it could have ruined someone who's been in more than one movie like Book of Boba Fett did. Ya know what Boba Fett's "book" is called in this show; Character Assassination: A How-To Guide

I don't know how you ruin a character who's done nothing but say "He's no good to me dead" in one movie, and have a retconned-in-most-continuities death in the next, but leave it to Disney's second Dark Age to find a way. But hey, at least every one agrees that Book of Boba Fett is trash instead of kissing the ground it walks on like Andor. So there's that.

Andor is a show so bad that there's a character named Cyril who's entire existence is dedicated to scenes where he eats Cereal. Absolute trash.

Anyway getting back to how the pulp of orange juice is more fun to watch than Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino is a hack who sucks at every aspect of film making that isn't writing dialogue. Resevoir Dogs was okay though.

Titanic.

Why? Hmmm, hard to say. Seems obvious to me. I'm totally ok with a love story but I don't really care for romance stories. Let me explain the difference to me. I'm not saying this is a formal definition. To me a love story is drama and romance is melodrama. It felt more like melodrama to me.

And to interest the men, let's throw in a disaster flick. If people fall off the boat and hit the propeller on the way down, men will love it and women will love the rest. No pandering at all.

Plus screw the priceless gem, just toss it overboard.

Mortal Engines. I have not read the source materials.

Amazing concept, fantastic visuals, weak story, weak characters. Apparently just accidentally spliced in the end of Return of the Jedi instead of finishing the movie.