I'm seeing a lot of downvotes on this post, if you feel you disagree, feel free to send me a DM.
this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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i don't mind what people call themselves and I'll use it to refer to them if I notice it, but they shouldn't expect their pronoun to be understood if it's something obscure
When talking about someone, is using the commonly accepted neutral "they" allowed, or is it considered non-tolerable misgendering?
It's fine by me, but I'm not sure how other moderators (or admins) feel about it
Not personally affected, but I saw someone instantly permabanned with reason "misgendering" for a comment talking about "drag"'s behavior but using "they".
Not warned. Not comment deleted with "please use pronoun at all times". Just bam.
If the general stance is that reaction can be "up to the admin", that's a bit... minefield-y.
If the general stance is that reaction can be “up to the admin”, that’s a bit… minefield-y.
I understand that this might seem problematic. We (the mods of 196) are only partially in control of what is removed and who is banned, due it being hosted on blahaj.zone.
All good, thanks for explaining. :)
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It's a useful feature of language for 'they' to be a valid default you should always be able to fall back on.
I don't even know who any of you are on Lemmy, and I don't care to. I'm rarely ever even paying attention to your names to begin with.
This is a big part of it, to be honest. Dragonfucker eagerly takes offense when people don't use the "drag" pronoun, but most of the time users aren't even looking at handles, and just defaulting to "they" as a general-use pronoun.
It depends on the person. If the pronouns you are using for someone is upsetting them and they make that clear, don't keep using them. If the only pronouns you can use make you uncomfortable, then simply don't interact with the person in question. And if the person in question is trolling or otherwise misbehaving, report them without doing so in a way that ignores their pronouns.
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Is it safe to asume that this is why the mods have
...been planning on moving 196 to lemmy.world ASAP…
Eh, I don't see that as a good idea... also there's already a 196 in lemmy.ml
I don't like the idea either. If true, it seems like the mods/community are upset they can't feed trolls, or bully people who aren't the "right" type of queer.
i have .world straight up blocked. when the man or bear thing happened EVERY shitty post/poster came from there. and watching pugjesus throw their little shitfit has only cemented that decision.
hilariously i’ve had way better interactions with .ml users, so i guess if the migration does happen i’ll just hang out there. i’d much rather dodge politics than thinly-veiled-to-outright misogyny and casual transphobia lmao
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Wow...looking at these comments, i realise I still have a lot to think about regarding my exact stance on all this...the fact that I have have zero irl exp in this is not helping...
Because nobody IRL uses neo-pronouns XD
I know some who do, quite a lot actually because the neutral french pronoun is a neopronoun
I did not realize that typing exclusively in third-person, and pushing something that is obviously kink-related onto internet strangers was umm... not trolling?
I feel like the troll that does this gives people who fantasize about dragons a bad name, not to mention people who use neopronouns, for various non-trolling reasons, that usually hold some kind of personal meaning. Expression is complicated, but holy goddamn bollucks, third-person shitposting to try to bait people who didn't read a bio into "misgendering" bans is asinine and takes validity from people who could use it. I don't see how any mods have gone along with this "muh third-person antagonistic ranting means victimhood" shit.
Whatever tho, I guess every individual user is supposed to independently block an asshat who tells people to commit suicide, because they are so very super-special.... I hope this place doesn't get tossed into dot world over this, ugh.
Tap for spoiler
I'm going to go consume alcohol and definitely ~~not~~ look at cute/sexy kobalds to cope. Feel free to DM me for info on the nature of creatures outside the scope of waking reality, if you are brave enough.
Whatever tho, I guess every individual user is supposed to independently block an asshat who tells people to commit suicide,
The message clearly and categorically states the rules still apply, and that behaviour is what gets actioned. Literally nothing about the post says that someone using neopronouns is otherwise exempt from the rules. If someone is telling someone to kill themselves, report it or DM it to a community mod.
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Opinions aside, thanks for clarifying this.
Most of the time I don't ask people their pronouns in public I just tend to use "they/them" until I overhear someone saying their actual pronouns then'll use them.
As for here on Lemmy I just look at their pronouns in the bio or just don't use pronouns at all in my comments.
I respect everyone and if I make a mistake that's okay and I'll refer to them with the correct pronouns.
Thank fuck my native language doesn’t have gendered pronouns. I just use they for everything, much simpler that way.
Are 'nounself' style neopronouns included here?
Like drag?
Apparently they are included, by the actions of the admins in the linked thread.
NP don't bother me at all, but that user intentionally stirs the shit in myriad other ways. Short account lifetime, TONS of replies, intentionally controversial posts, feels the need to comment on every single post that gets traction. I think "we should be nice to AI because it might be alive" has been my least favorite arc so far, close between that and declaring all of lemmy transphobic (in a BZ post no less). Block drag and move on. This post was proof enough for me personally it was a great choice.
Aside from all the drama, they also encouraged users to commit suicide (which is why they were banned from trans on blahaj) and used sock puppet accounts. They were banned from 196 2 days ago.
he
🤔
I copied from another comment using "he" and forget the right pronouns for a second, it's fixed now.
^(Kinda^ ^ironic^ ^I^ ^forgot,^ ^since^ ^the^ ^whole^ ^thing^ ^started^ ^with^ ^their^ ^neopronouns^ ^😅)^
^(Kinda^ ^ironic^ ^I^ ^forgot,^ ^since^ ^the^ ^whole^ ^thing^ ^started^ ^with^ ^his^ ^neopronouns^ ^😅)^
Ha, you did it again! ;)
Time to go to bed I guess
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