this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
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[–] Furbag 49 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Seriously, there's no standardization to the security theater hoops that the TSA forces you to jump through. Every airport is different, and the TSA guys always look so exasperated that you don't know the routine. I guess that's the point, that on any given day the rules might be different so that potential terrorists will have a harder time finding gaps in security, but it makes it a frustrating experience as a regular non-terrorist passenger.

[–] teamevil 12 points 1 day ago

I travel for work and it's absolutely not the TSA playing the long game to keep us on our toes, it's absolute lack of standards gear and incompetence.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Since its all make believe anyway and they have never stopped a single terrorist they may as well make it convenient for everyone else by making it standard.

[–] [email protected] 180 points 3 days ago (6 children)

The "agents" always swear the rules are the same everywhere even though I was just in the other airport a few hours ago and no they aren't!

[–] [email protected] 96 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"This is how it's always done, sir... on the second Tuesdays of months with an even number of days and for the full duration of Toyotathon. Now don't make me repeat myself: laptop under the bag and over the shoes or we cavity search you."

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh gosh, that's my bad. I forgot we were in Toyotathon; I thought Happy Honda Days had started already!

[–] Brunbrun6766 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They overlap every 7 years but only for 6 days

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

If the rules are the same everywhere, they would do what every other competent place that has procedures that need to be followed does, and post them at the front. The fact that a TSA bitch has to stand there and tell you what to do means they've already failed.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Random Antiterrorism Measures

The Random Antiterrorism Measure (RAM) program uses random, multiple security measure that change the look of an installation’s force protection program and introduce uncertainty to defeat surveillance attempts and make it difficult for a terrorist to accurately predict security actions.

“A unit could conduct random antiterrorism measures by checking parking lots, conducting bag checks and ID cards in locations where that is not the normal security posture,” said Ann Moree, security manager, DPTMS.

This is basically what's going on. The theory is that by making changes to the process it will be more difficult for someone to plan a way to defeat it (not really true, as several TSA pentests have shown).

There's also this classic quote attributed to a German general during WWII:

War is Chaos, and the reason why the American Army excels at War is because they practice Chaos on a daily basis.

It may look like the front-line guys have no idea what's going on, and that might actually be true. If they have no idea what's going on, neither will anybody observing their activities.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think this kind of reasoning just desperately tries to find reason in insanity.

You're basically implying that the coordinated uncertainty is so incredibly good at being covert, that it's absolutely indistinguishable from underpaid incompetence and power tripping pettiness.

Maybe I'm not giving enough credit to government agencies, but actual incompetence and artisanal pettiness seem to be more likely to me than a planned behavior.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I had not considered that. It sounds like it's actually a sound precaution, or would be if TSA weren't so incredibly incompetent and the threat so exaggerated.

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[–] Zachariah 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes, they are. The rule is: No matter what you do, you’ll be called a dumb bitch.

This rule is universal and the whole point of the TSA.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

They seem to relax the rules when it's really busy... Like wait... Isn't that when an attack would be the most dangerous meaning security would be even more important rather than less?

Goes to show how pointless most of it is.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Last time I flew I started taking my electronics out of my carry-on (which was filled with a ridiculous amount of electronics) and a TSA agent told me to stop. I showed her inside the bag and said "you're not gonna be able to see everything unless I take it out" and she just rolled her eyes and repeated herself. Then they had to take my bag and individually swipe everything for bomb residue because they weren't able to see everything with the scanner...

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well, I hope you've learned your lesson

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The lesson that the TSA will just say things and ignore reason?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (3 children)

You sound like you didn't learn the lesson. Tut.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The lesson is that you know it's a sham, the TSA knows it's a sham, but you're intent in following through

[–] phoneymouse 94 points 3 days ago (7 children)

I have pre-check, which means I get to keep belt, shoes, and jacket on. Except one random time when this butthead TSA agent insisted I remove my jacket. I fought him on it, but he was an arrogant guy. Read your own rules dumb, dumb.

Also, they obsess over my bottle of contact solution regularly — wipe it down for bomb residue and everything, even though it is allowed. But, somehow I’ve accidentally slipped through with pocket knives and zippo lighters that were at the bottom of my bag. But, don’t you dare forget to empty your water bottle.

[–] thebeardedpotato 42 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I use the same laptop bag for several trips a year, so I often don’t clear out all the pockets. The other day I realized I’ve been flying back and forth with a lighter I got from Vegas 2 years ago because it was buried at the bottom of a pocket. As for why the hell I had it in my laptop bag in the first place, I have no idea.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

Because it's all nothing but a circus.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

a YouTuber I watch once had a spent bullet casing at the bottom of his bag for YEARS and tsa found it after he went on like 10 flights with it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

If that was your carry-on, it probably didn't get flagged because lighters are allowed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I just don't bother taking out small bottles of liquid for the last quite a few years and no one has cared or even noticed

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 days ago (8 children)

every time I go through TSA it says "anomaly detected" at my waist and I need to be patted down. I'm trans so... correct I guess.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Right. Just hold still. I need to check your genitalia for something."

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

Ah yes, the penis detector.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Hi! I used to get to second base with the TSA every time. Apparently the machine has issues with loose fit clothes or even long hair if it's down. Since taking this to heart no one has asked to swipe my ass for bombs.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's a good Philosophy Tube quote for this. (the presenter is a trans woman).

Apparently the operator of the scanner has to choose if you're a man or a woman, so "Either my tits are the bomb or there's an unexpected item in the shagging area"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

oh that's good

[–] themaninblack 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

For this reason, and for sexual assault survivors, and for our dignity, naked photography and pat downs should not exist.

[–] andros_rex 2 points 1 day ago

Hahaha yeah - it’s great that every time I fly, there’s a 1 in 3 chance that I’m outed to some sour faced stranger who will get to grope me.

I will take Amtrak for three times the travel time to avoid TSA.

[–] modus 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You can opt out of the RapeScan. It doesn't get you out of the pat down, but it's something.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

It also wins you direct scorn by the TSAa and an attempt at public shaming “We got an opt out. OPT OUT I NEED A MANAGER! You, stand over there and wait”.

At they very least you’re guaranteed no cellphone screencaps, fresh gloves and less radiation exposure whilst you’re stood at the machine and in the line waiting. Airports are still abysmal on privacy otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Last time I flew I wore jeans that fit super well on the way out and kinda loose jeans that I needed a belt to keep up on the return. The loose jeans set off an anomaly in the groin area and both me and the TSA agent shared a collective "I don't want to be doing this right now but this is what we have to do"

Anyways my point is, I think it comes down to the fit of your clothing, if it's more form fitting it's less likely to be detected as an anomaly. But also the machine is sensitive enough to detect when I've forgotten a receipt in my back pocket and will yell about a tiny scrap of thermal paper so I suppose it would detect any anomalies in one's body

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 days ago

“Haha look at this asshole taking off his shoes, doesn’t he know we don’t have to do that anymore?”

the man says while taking off his belt to prepare for the newly introduced rectal scan

[–] Vorticity 55 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I don't understand why they don't have a sign at the entrance to security to tell you what to expect. Or, when it changes by which line you go to, why they don't have a sign indicating the differences between lines.

Instead, they wait for someone to make a mistake, then yell out their mistake like "ALL ELECTRONICS MUST COME OUT OF YOUR BAG" at the same time as someone the next line over is yelling "ELECTRONICS DO NOT NEED TO COME OUT OF YIUR BAGS".

TSA is infuriatingky inconsistent and incomprehensible, even for someone who travels frequently.

[–] Pieisawesome 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is due to the scanners.

Newer scanners don’t need electronics out, older ones do.

Unfortunately, they don’t replace them ALL at an airport at the same time, leading to inconsistency…

My current major airport I fly through doesn’t open pre check until 9am, which is a pain, cause I have to print a paper ticket to get my precheck privileges in the normal lines

Which causes chaos cause I don’t have to do things others do

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[–] halcyoncmdr 50 points 3 days ago (5 children)

It's not even policies changing, it seems to be based solely on the scanning hardware they have.

Some airports have different scanners and you can leave them in the bag. Others it needs to be separate, and every electronic device has to be in a separate box.

[–] Vorticity 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At some airports it varies by which line you're in and they yell conflicting instructions within earshot of all of the lines.

[–] spankmonkey 18 points 3 days ago

I've had conflicting instructions in the same line.

[–] kautau 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yup, flew international out of JFK in march of this year. The whole line, signs say “remove jackets, remove shoes, remove electronics from your bags”. While moving through the line, start to get everything out to be more efficient. Close to the end, I get diverted to another line with a much bigger scanner and the guy yells at me PUT YOUR ELECTRONICS BACK IN YOUR BACKPACK. LEAVE YOUR SHOES AND BELT ON.

Like duh, I would have not gotten everything ready if there weren’t 20 signs telling me to do so.

Flew again out of JFK internationally 3 days ago, same thing, tons of signs saying to do the same thing. This time, I’m not taking out shit, idk what they’re going to say. Sure enough, get to the actual scanner and this time I do have to take out all my electronics, shoes off, etc in the sheep herding line which would have been way faster if I had done it in line.

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[–] blackwateropeth 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Had some dude in DFW act like I was both deaf and retarded when I asked him if my laptop had to be in a separate bin, lol….. it changes every time I swear

[–] Plum 17 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I got through Des Moines with a laptop in my carry-on no problem, but I got blue glove frisked in front of everyone because my bra had too many straps on the back.

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[–] Agent641 17 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I actually got an sarcastic "Is this your first time flying?" The last trip I went on because I didn't take some protein bars out of my pockets.

[–] TheBat 15 points 3 days ago

Just reply 'yes'.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

One of my flying tricks is to twist tie all of my cords into one big loop so that you know you have all of your cords at once and it makes them easy to pull out and put back in as needed

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