this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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Lefty Memes

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CNN webpage with a photo and text saying "We have a photo showing the suspect's unmasked face. How has no one recognized him and come forward to police?"

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Maybe everyone around him/her died from coverage refusal, nobody can identify that person cause they are dead. Which would explain why they decided to kill the leech-ionnaire

[–] [email protected] 254 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist:

But my guess is that this person is just a random person who happened to have similar outfit, near the wrong place, around the wrong time. They saw this and immediately put the blame on the person.

I mean, the guy on the shooting video was smart enough to have a suppressor, but he just decided to pull down his mask when he know he's on camera? Doubt.

Robert Lee Stinson was falsely convicted using "teeth mark" psudoscience BS, and that was a low-profile case. This is a "high-profile" case to them. Who knows what ends they'll go to find someone to blame it on.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 14 points 2 days ago

It honestly reminds me of Fahrenheit 451. The main character is on the run and watches the news to see police killing a random man that they said was him. Just so the public would see the police as competent.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 144 points 4 days ago (2 children)

A hoodie and a backpack could describe half the people at any tech company in America.

[–] [email protected] 132 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I knew it. It was Rami Malek all along!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago

I knew I liked that guy

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 21 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The last shot in that show is worth every hour you spend watching it.

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[–] Retrograde 5 points 3 days ago

Bonsoir, Elliot

[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Oh shit, I wore a hoodie and backpack to college once.

And I also smiled at someone once. Pretty sure there was a CCTV camera near by.

Are they looking for me?

Oh shit is that a knock on my door?

Aaaaahhhhh noo it wasn't me I swear

😱

/jk

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I loved that CNN published a picture of the wrong guy, smiling, handsome, flirting with the receptionist.

So now, it makes it easier for the murderer to escape because people are looking for a face that is not his and in the collective unconscious he went from a dark alley murderer to a handsome, smiling guy casually flirting that makes him even more likeable.

I know it's way too far fetched but as a plan it would be a genius master plan.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

smart enough to have a suppressor…

That is all of a form 4 stamp and a $200 check my man. These days it’s a few weeks dwell time.

I have 12 of them. Most of the guys I shoot with have several. None of them are even close to being on this side of the bell curve for intellect.

Dude had a plan that was well thought out, but the can on his pistol wasn’t an indicator of it.

[–] themeatbridge 49 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Thing is, everyone has seen this photo by now. The person in the photo has seen the photo. People who know him have seen the photo. If it were a photo of me, I'd be like, "Oh shit, I better call a lawyer because these cops think I killed someone" and call to clear up the mistake. I'd let everyone know that's a pic of me, but I am not the murderer.

Nobody has done that yet.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You're brave if you think that would be enough for them to leave you alone. I've know a few people who've been stalked and harassed for years by cops who had nothing on them.

[–] themeatbridge 36 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Sure, but that's why my first call is a lawyer. Establish an iron-clad alibi, and point out that I don't have United Health Insurance or any medical debt, bring in my doctor who says my arthritis would prevent me from riding a bike that far, package all that up into a single irrefutable tweet and then go have a primetime interview with a cable news reporter. You can't trust the cops, but if you make it known that you are in the photo and you didn't do it, they will hopefully leave you alone.

[–] YarHarSuperstar 47 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This feels naively optimistic

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Never talk to the police even to give evidence that proves your innocence, never ever ever talk to them get a lawyer the justice system is slow and on your side the police can NEVER HELP YOU

[–] shneancy 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i'd highly advise against doing that if it ever happens to you, especially with a high profile case like this one.

chances are someone will be found, arrested, and tried for this, it'd be an incredibly bad look for the police to shrug and say "we don't know" - will it be the person who actually killed that CEO, or will it be a scapegoat who just had the misfortune of looking like him and nobody could confirm their alibi of "i was at alone at home watching movies"? Interrogations can last a long time, the longer one lasts the more likely a false confession is to happen because the person just wants the questioning to end, not to even mention the multitude of techniques used by interrogators to get into your head

yes, contact a lawyer immediately, just in case, but don't go around announcing "this is me in the photo but i didn't do it pinky promise, i was watching movies that night haha, no sorry i don't have a habit of telling everyone i'm going to be watching movies, no none of my neighbours saw me that night i was alone"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Never talk to the police especially if you are in a room being Interogated, if they keep you there even though you aren’t talking it means they don’t have much

Never ever ever agree to go downtown to answer questions

Even if you are 100% innocent even if you want to help even if you have helpful info never ever ever talk to the police ever under zero circumstances ever

Anything you say CAN AND WILL be used against you and even if you tell them helpful things nothing the police say can ever be used to help your case because it will be here say and inadmissible

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Seriously? If someday my face appeared on a wanted poster for a crime i did not commit and did not have clear alibi, i'll lay low.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can’t you do all that after they catch you? Cause there is a chance they won’t and you doing that might increase your chances of getting caught and being wrongly convicted.

[–] themeatbridge 10 points 3 days ago

I'd be worried that they're planning a raid to come get me and put a bullet in my forehead for "resisting" so they can pin it all on the dead guy.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Weird, shocker, complete mystery, total enigma; very puzzling, baffling, inexplicable, a “head-scratcher” as the hooligans say; indecipherable, unanswerable, consign it to oblivion and endeavor never to ask this quandary again.

[–] Passerby6497 117 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I love that the true crime investigator people on the internet, when asked about helping, responded with a resounding (actual quote) 'absolutely the fuck not'.

[–] demizerone 4 points 3 days ago

Class solidarity at last. Fuck y'all billionaires.

[–] pyre 10 points 3 days ago

ask other CEOs and see if they can come up with any possible reasons

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

who is this person? what did he do any why are there plenty memes about him?

[–] Aeao 19 points 3 days ago

No idea what you're talking about, but there's clearly something wrong with my phone. People keep mentioning pictures of some dude but the pictures never seem to load on my phone at all. It's wild how that only happens specifically with that one picture. Oh well.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 4 days ago

I'm starting to suspect the backpack they found was a rando just doing a solid for a hero to throw off the pigs.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 4 days ago

On the one hand, this probably isn't the same guy.

On the other hand he's really hot, and we love it when our folk heroes look good doing their heroics.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 72 points 4 days ago

Anybody who comes forward will have a target on their back.

Fucking class traitor

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I know who that is, it's Timothée Chalamet!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago

Lisan al Ghaib!

[–] Etterra 46 points 4 days ago

He totally looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 days ago (1 children)

i didnt see nothing man...

straight white transexual male female of african american decent with dash of asian heading north east south.

Do these people really think Americans are about to turn on a folk hero and even if they are willing, would you want to be on that guy's shit list over some dead executive?

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 60 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

a folk hero

I can’t wait for songs to be written about him

ETA: I hope his name is Jayne. The man they called Jayne…

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Our love for him now, ain't hard to explain

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The hero of 6th Ave the man they call Jayne

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[–] ChowJeeBai 54 points 4 days ago

Because it's not even the same guy?

[–] WarmSoda 52 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Jake Gyllenhaal is a hard man to find.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Why is CNN's CEO Sir Mark John Thompson looking to draw attention to himself? Could he be hoping for a new trend to develop where people surprise CEOs named Thompson in the streets? Seems weird, but maybe he's optimistically hoping that his surprise might be cake or something.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago

Why would someone turn in this guy when he's clearly not the shooter? Different windbreaker altogether

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago

My money is on scapegoating some poor soul as a warning to the masses.

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