this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is why every other picture on my phone is my dick. Swipe at your own risk mfers.

[–] abaddon 3 points 1 day ago

Eh, no one will spend the time to zoom in that much, you're safe.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Later on, George swipes when she shows a picture to get even, finds out she supports the wrong baseball team, and spends the rest of the episode trying to break up with her without revealing whybecause she'd find out that he swiped.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 3 points 1 day ago

That's why I'd never date a US girl. I could never tell if she supported the right or the wrong baseball team.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

A gentle reminder that Jerry Seinfeld is pro-genocide, and his wife financially supported a counter protest to those speaking out against Palestinian civilians being slaughtered.

https://tribune.com.pk/story/2464751/jerry-seinfelds-wife-sparks-debate-with-5000-donation-at-pro-israel-rally

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm so sick of it just nuke Palestine and Israel together it's over

[–] trolololol 0 points 1 day ago

Or we can nuke the countries that send arms to Israel and in a day they'll tone down their crazy.

[–] 69420 171 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] MissJinx 23 points 3 days ago (22 children)

they should do 1 20 minutes episode revival where it's just the 3 of them (not kramer obvs) talking in the booth about new tech

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'd rather not have Jerry either tbh, he doesnt seem to think he can be funny without being somehow hateful apparently.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

It's human to lose your shit sometimes. I think he sincerely apologised.

Edit: ok I've done some soul searching and I've realized that I don't really care who they are off set. Be they racists, communists, or nazis IRL, if what they say on the show is funny to me, I'm gonna watch it.

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Never hand a boomer your phone. Especially an elderly boomer, and especially if that boomer is your mother. They will always start swiping. It's like their brain just deflates. Their eyes glaze over. They get this wide, tranquil smile, as if to say, "Hot dawwg! This boundless collection of photos I've been handed is going to be a real treat!", and they just start swiping. They just start fucking swiping.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love that my gallery app has a "guest view". I can select some photos, tap "guest view" and hand someone my phone. They can then only swipe across these photos, and if they try to leave the app the lock screen comes up.

[–] wurstgulasch3000 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What app is that and does it exist on android?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Ente Photos, it's on both Android and iOS

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My boomer mother swiped too far on her own phone when she was showing me something

[–] spirinolas 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Oh god no! Please...tell me it's not what I think it is...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just make every second image in your phone this GIF:

Get some Operant Conditioning in them.

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[–] LovableSidekick 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

As a boomer fully versed in modern phone usage I resent this unwarranted collective slur.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I apologize for any offense I may have caused, but I believe your presence here is no coincidence. You have to be the messenger. Please pass it along to the others via email chain letter, or perhaps more effectively, state that Mark Zuckerberg has changed the rules of Facebook and requires all users to automatically swipe when handed people's phones. That should be effective in getting Aunt Joyce to do the exact opposite.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Landless2029 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just zoom in a little so it pans

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[–] Katana314 26 points 2 days ago (5 children)

It would be fun to make a “No Swipe Image Viewer” app that lets you pick an image to share - and then presents some searing penalty like a screamer to anyone who swipes to the side.

Just be warned, not for the elderly or faint of heart.

[–] trolololol 1 points 1 day ago

Venture capitalists will be knocking on your door for you to lead a new start up

[–] dual_sport_dork 1 points 1 day ago

This already exists. Probably several of them.

I had one back in the day that would allow you to pick an arbitrary selection of images from your gallery and would only display those. Ninja Snap, I think it was called. If the holder tried to swipe beyond this it would respond by taking pictures of whoever is holding the phone via the selfie cam (inevitably pictures of them up their nose, given how they're likely to be holding the phone) and eventually start admonishing them for being an assmunch and violating the trust of whoever's phone it was.

Anyway, Focus lets you do this in a less trollworthy manner. It also has an option to lock you phone if someone hits the home button trying to get to other apps or snoop around in other stuff. Several other Gallery replacement apps do, as well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I just tell people "don't swipe unless you wanna see my dick" and that usually does it.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago

She's a swiper, Jerry!

[–] Im_old 80 points 3 days ago (11 children)

That's why you slightly zoom in on a pic before showing it to someone.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago

My god you're a genius.

You're also hiding something, but still, genius.

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[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 2 days ago

"I tried to stop her, Jerry! I tried!"

[–] SkunkWorkz 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you have an iPhone you can turn on Guided Access mode by triple clicking the power button.

In guided access mode you can disable touch.

https://support.apple.com/en-us/111795

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

:O crazy. I know us droids also have a guided access thing too but I'm not sure if we can disable touch

[–] aesthelete 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

The League already did something about this...and yes it was basically a more modern version of Seinfeld.

It used what I call the "four psychopaths" format. Seinfeld invented it and...it's always sunny in philadelphia uses the same format.

[–] kameecoding 15 points 2 days ago

IASIP is Seinfeld cracked up to 11, in some episodes quite literally

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

"What is the deal with swiping on other people's phones?"

[–] PP_BOY_ 42 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

These Takis are making me thursty!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago

I was thinking and I could totaly see george showing up at the wrong time only to get dragged along with a mass shoplifting crowd and being the only one caught

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