Ask Lemmy

Into the studio of some live tv programme, so it's caught on camera by a neutral party. Without teleportation to get back, there are no really cool or useful places I want to go to in the next 24 hours. So I might as well try to make some cash out of interviews and stuff.

To a place where there are plenty of crumbs.

I'd assume a cannonball shape and teleport myself into the body of any living murderous dictator (you can pick). I assume the sudden materialization of a 6' tall, 200 lb human inside another human's viscera would be a bit like swallowing a bomb. Even if it's more a case of chimeric horror, the result is the same so I'm OK with it.

"teleport" - How exactly? am I unassembled and reassembled? Or does my body just move there? At light speed? NO THANKS.

What does teleport mean to you? Exactly a me-sized number of atoms shifts places with me? So I won't burst into flames and leave an explosion where I was?

I end up teleported exactly where I intend to be? Without sight? Without knowledge of that location? In the exact space and time I disappear?

Nah nah nah nah absolutely fucking not. no

If we teleport to a moving object, can we equalize speeds in relation to it instead of our current reference? If yes, ISS - good luck getting me outta there! If no, I'll mumble "Shenzh/gen" and see if I end up in China or Luxembourg.

do i keep my momentum after i have teleported?

telefrag.

I'd teleport to a parallel universe that has become an utopia full of futuristic medical solutions.

Are you sure I can't save it in case I need to get out of the Backrooms some day?

To the fridge. For a beer.

My mom lives three large states away and has Alzheimer's but is still able to recognize people. She's well cared for, but I'm sole caregiver for my bedbound family member. I'm reconciled to the fact I cannot travel to visit her, but if I could go for just half an hour, even just one hug, I would.

Edit: Oh, one way only? Nvm.

Cuba, for medical and/or dental care I can't afford in the US

If there's no return option then I probably wouldn't use it. Maybe just to get to the shops or something and then walk back.

I'll go to The Trackless Wastes of Sparsis.

I think I left my pen there.

Into the core of the Sun. With the pressure and temperature I guess it will kill me before I can notice. A quick, painless, and rather unique way to die.
Cause of death: "Crushed and burned by Sun's core"

What?

Go to work like normal, open the register, empty it (money is a person item) and vanish forever to rural Japan.
Make sure I teleport to where non one sees it.

Alternatively: teleport to new Zealand, yall know exactly why.

Without a return trip, that's pretty useless.