Mission failed successfully - the weird apes now help you reproduce in an ideal environment and protect you from predators.
this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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It's more funny/sad if you consider how successful chicken are from this point of view.
Symbiosis doesn't mean both parties are happy about it.
EVOLUTION DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HAPPY
Appreciate your gut bacteria. They love you too.
chickens as a species, sure, but there's something to be said about the happiness of each individual chicken. read a book once that was like "the more successful a species as a collective is, the less happy each individual is" or smth like that :(
If you want there to be a lot of your species, the best thing to do is become delicious to humans.
Unless you're a giant tortoise.
It took 300 years to properly classify them. Specimens never survived the voyage back to Europe because they were too delicious.
~~Not those coffee beans that are shat out by a goat. Not them. ~~
So TIL they aren’t real and a similarly but cruelly sourced version is. I guess it still works, but I meant happy-story-goats and don’t like my own joke otherwise.
Humans suck.
I'm going to suppress my curiosity and not look into whatever you're referencing.
I assume it's like those ~~badgers or lemurs or something~~ 1998 honda civets in Southeast Asia (I think) that are caged, fed and shit out those special coffee beans that tourists just fucking love.
I hope that was an anti-depressant induced vivid dream memory and not a real memory of something that actually happens.
I hear you. My heart breaks every day for everything that ever met us including me.
So I went to look because I wanted to reply with a feel-good story about a super elitist coffee not made by exploiting goats but rather picking naturally eaten but undigested (berries?) out of shitpiles because it softened the shell or flavoured the bean or something.
But it’s bullshit. Bollocks. Your story is correct as are its horrors. Thanks for accidentally teaching me something and sorry to bring it up in retrospect. Not sarcasm, I hate shit like that.
I blame 90s tv and/or whatever the paradox pair of Discovery and History channels peddled.
Civet cats.
You mean civets.
Kopi luwak
Just remember as much as humans suck, there's something in nature doing something as perverse, or as heinous. Sure, we have limited empathy, so are inclined to sometimes know better. But we generally don't know better enough.
Caffeine is the same thing. A poison to termites ( HUUUGE BUZZZZZZZ! ) that gives us a rush when we microdose it.
Micro?
Yes, for us, a gram of caffeine is a double-whopper of a dose (about seven cups of strong coffee). Meanwhile a termite eating caffeine-laced wood gets a dose far greater in proportion to its body weight.
If you're knocking back grams, I salute you.
I like the version of this meme where the item at the bottom is some kind of mint soap and the cavemen are chanting “MINTY BALLS! MINTY BALLS!”
An early morning Dr bronners shower is more effective than coffee