this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.

To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren't high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.

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[–] dcoe 67 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[–] Dasus 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.

All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I'm not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I'd consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Metaphysician here. The platonic ideal of gluten will induce the platonic ideal of diarrhea. Honestly I'm not going to call that a good trade, but that's an exercise for the reader.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is there gluten in chickpeas? I kinda prefer it to regular

[–] Dasus 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Chickpeas are legumes and legumes don't have gluten. Although you should still check products because there might be crosd contam or added wheat in some products.

But yeah probably chickpea spaghetti can be found gluten free. I'll put it on the "to try" list, but I'm not too hopeful. I've tried a whole bunch and without that gluten in there, just can't get the consistency right enough for it to please me.

So I just got a rice cooker.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I mean Jesus is pretty tasty in small doses as is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jesus wafers with grape jelly is something I'd definitely snack on.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Grape jelly could be considered solid wine

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I love Tom! I was originally going to go down this line with my comment and didn’t think anyone would get it. Thanks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Hah,I didn't know either, but love that you are around!

[–] Jonnyprophet 1 points 2 weeks ago

Came here for this... I mean, he did say Eat Me. (Not like that, sicko.) This is my body, tastes like good crust bread.

He probably worked on it a bit before he died. Like ate a lot of Sage and Thyme at the last supper or something.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ok, hear me out... Minotaur sausages.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Oooooo, imagine the anger packed in them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Dibs on the prime rib!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you'd have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.

Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don't want to eat any steel type Pokemon.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.

I don't mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn't that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it's in the DM's prerogative. If I were DM, I'd say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.

Slicing off a Phoenix's wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.

Moreover, I'd stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.

EDIT:

Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to "its original body". Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its "immortality".

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[–] spittingimage 21 points 2 weeks ago

I bet JΓΆrmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.

[–] MisterNeon 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a vegetarian so I want either a golden apple or an apple from Eden.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] MisterNeon 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not picky.

[–] spittingimage 5 points 2 weeks ago

A golden apple enscribed with "kallisti".

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] essell 7 points 2 weeks ago

Ironically, the best.

[–] Jonnyprophet 5 points 2 weeks ago

Wow... Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Cthulu Nigiri maybe?

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

A bite of the Ouroboros, why should the serpent be the only one that gets a taste of itself?

[–] RBWells 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Didn't Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.

[–] Jonnyprophet 3 points 2 weeks ago

Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It's almost as big as me!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

The problem with ingesting Zeus is that I'd have a good chance (nearly 100% based on my Greek mythology knowledge) I'd end up being pregnant and incurring Hera's wrath, or being whisked to Olympus as his winebearer... or both!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I bet Aphrodite would taste divine.

[–] Taalnazi 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Would definitely stuff her

[–] Feathercrown 9 points 2 weeks ago

Bro's gonna get to the great beyond and experience horrors beyond human comprehension for this one

[–] Etterra 8 points 2 weeks ago

I would most prefer the Tyrant (the judeo-muslim-Christian God) because nothing tastes better than vindictive spite.

[–] GraniteM 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I loved swordfish steak the one time I had it, so I'd bet that Scylla, Charybdis, or the Kraken would be quite good.

Oh, also The Kraken is quite tasty.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Spiced rum? Have to try sometimes.

[–] binary45 8 points 2 weeks ago

I’d say one of those immortality peaches from Chinese myth. Probably one of the eternal youth ones that blooms every six thousand years.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

A nice Caribbean Faun curry sounds delicious.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'd say Idun's apples for the immortality, but those aren't a deity/being, so I guess Idun? Maybe that works too

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Gonna eat all the Wuxia pills.

Heavenly Pearl pill? Nom. Nine Color White Lotus pill? Nom. Holy Flame pill? Nom. You refine it, I dine it.

Once I eat all the dānyào Mike 'n' Ikes I'll either leave the room a Dragon Warrior or I'll meet Master Oogway in the spirit realm. Maybe he can give me advice on the Daoist approach on debugging C++ multithreading.

If my soul evaporates it'll be a bummer tho

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I wish you best of luck in comprehending the dao of programming.

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