this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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[–] Hayduke 265 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The department is working tirelessly to apprehend the criminals.

[–] [email protected] 149 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Stop laughing," the department chief said in an interview with WLMY. "This is a wheel problem for us."

[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The officers have been reviewing security footage before beginning material investigations so that they can hit the ground running.

[–] anubis119 46 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They aren't having a goodyear anymore.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As to the suspects, at this time we are keeping our opinions unbiased.

[–] EtherWhack 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But they keep shifting their stance

[–] dohpaz42 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Eventually their investigation will come to a skidding halt, as they are burning rubber trying to find the suspects.

[–] P00ptart 1 points 2 months ago

Let's take a brake from this tired thread.

[–] GreenKnight23 21 points 2 months ago

might take awhile, the wheels of justice turn slowly.

[–] WhyFlip 98 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're working tirelessly to find the perpetrators.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 16 points 2 months ago

I could just kiss you.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Return just the wheels, the tires need to be examined further and will take an additional 6-18 business months

[–] EtherWhack 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just cut them open, plenty of smugglers put bricks of product inside.

[–] GreenKnight23 7 points 2 months ago

smells like they're trafficking bricks of justice in those tires.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They weren't stolen .... they can be fetched and returned from their last known location in Afghanistan

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago

All because the wheels were black.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 35 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago

After six months the tires are sent to the city dump.

City Waste Landfill? City Police Precinct? Easy mistake when all these departments just look the same, you know.

[–] FlyingSquid 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, forfeiture of their assets. This sounds familiar somehow...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Those tires are criminals.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They should have complied with the road.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

They were "radial" profiling them!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Tires can't be criminals, they are inanimate objects. Only humans and some higher intelligent animals can break the law.

[–] _stranger_ 10 points 2 months ago
[–] Snowclone 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You'd think that but in the American legal system corporations are civil rights bearing people, you're not related to your parents unless you maintain the same address, and objects can be suspected and tried for criminal acts and assumed guilty until proven otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

When was the last time a corp was sentenced to death and executed?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

that isn't the point, also the death penalty is almost never used anyway

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

My point is they are super citizens, with more rights and privileges and less things binding them.

[–] Snowclone 1 points 2 months ago

The argument that corporations have civil rights is how the Supreme Court justified eliminating anti bribery laws that curtailed political funding from corporations.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bet your lots of fun at parties , 😉.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Lol if you only knew.

[–] bamfic 12 points 2 months ago

Stop resisting!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 12 points 2 months ago

Based and Legalism Pilled

[–] woodenskewer 9 points 2 months ago

civil axle forfeiture