this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 152 points 1 month ago (5 children)

F&g

That being said, for anyone that ever gets into a similar situation, the correct thing to say/do after the thumbs up is to say , "and thank you for sharing them with me. May I enjoy them more directly?"

You can paraphrase that, it's just the idea.

But, my boob loving homies, it doesn't matter if you've been married to the boob owner for decades, pay appreciation to them tiddies every time you get access to them, visually or otherwise. I promise you, it will never be a bad thing to give appreciation to a partner for sharing their body with you. You don't have to be formal about it, something like "baby, I'm so happy you let me motorboat your funbags" will work if that's the kind of relationship you have. Something like "honey, even after all the days and nights we've shared, I never stop being happy we're together, and that you share yourself with me like this." might be a bit better received by some.

Fuck, for my dick loving homies out there, it works while you're fondling balls too.

Remember, sex is someone giving you full access to their body, with all the vulnerability that comes with that. Be aware of the wonder that it is. Share that wonder with them.

I'm 50 now. I've had intimate access to women since I was under 18, with varying degrees of regularity. Never once has saying thank you in a genuine and personal way gone wrong. Not once.

And I'll tell you, when a partner says it to me, it never fails to make me happy.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Zoldyck 17 points 1 month ago

Thanks daddy :3

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I thanked a girl for letting me fondle her tits and she immediately recoiled and told me never to thank girls for things like that again.

So, it depends... But on what, exactly?

[–] idiomaddict 16 points 1 month ago

It depends on how into you/the situation they are, just like with everyone. Most people are more accepting of people saying weird shit (any kind of thing, not specifically thanking them) in the moment if they have an emotional connection to the person saying it or if they’re really horny.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Honestly? It's about how you say it, and the person you're with. You can't say the same thing to everyone, it has to be genuine and "customized". Which, I guess, comes down to making the right guess based on the interaction.

An example. My wife and I have a very well matched sense of humor, and find joy in each other's bodies. For her, me coming up with the silliest, most absurd ways to say it is part of the fun. So, when I have access to her boobs and say "gee Mrs Magoo, I haven't felt boobs this nice since my kindergarten teacher that one time in the bathroom.", it works she laughs, and she knows I love her body as much as her. But I can also be flowery if I want because she knows it isn't bullshit.

But, one ex of mine was what you might call rigid about sexual matters, and if I said something like that, it would have been over even sooner. But, telling her "I'm really lucky to be able to be with you like this" after running my hands over her breasts took it away from being "sexual" in her mind by virtue of vagueness. It would make her smile and kiss me.

There's no single way to go about it. It's a matter of being in the moment, being connected.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honestly, I found the most effective way to get the titty high is to grow them yourself. You can take this medication that'll let you grow some right on your chest so you'll always have access to a pair you can squeeze.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Damn, I need me some self tiddies!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You might also ask what she wants to do.

Usually, when things get going, my go-to has been "wow... Where do you want this to go?"

Sometimes you don't get an answer, and thats ok. Lots of people just get things going but expect you to then take charge.

Other times I find that people have hopes for what they'd like to happen.

And specifically asking about that is step one to giving someone exactly what they want.

And thank yous are always nice. Both to hear and say.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like that. I would like if someone said that to me.

I’m so fortuitous that both my partner and myself are in camp “just say what you want, it’s not weird”

All of my precious partners have been in camp “just do things, don’t say things” which I found so weird.

Now I can just say “wanna do stuff in an hour?” And my partner will be like “eh maybe, do you wanna do stuff?” and if I say “yea” they’re like “dope aite”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Doing whatever you want, or having someone do whatever they want, can be really hot.

But even if that's what they want, I like to actually establish thats what they want/are ok with.

Asking is just always a good idea, because then everyone is more likely to get exactly what they were hoping for.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Grandma, I'm just eternally grateful every time you let me finger blast your ostomy port! 😍

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

What a terrible day to have photon receptors

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

It’s moments like this that I regret being on an instance that doesn’t do downvotes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I once, without looking, accidentally fondled a guy's chemo port thinking it was an abnormally large and oddly placed nipple 😳 fuck you for reminding me

[–] [email protected] 119 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's not autism that's anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm also going to say it's kinda weird behaviour on her part too, no? I mean going from cuddling to returning to the room half naked has skipped a few steps in my (perhaps old fashioned) mind here.

It puts it into a somewhat more likely "that happened" situation to me.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Probably not that weird when you go to someones house to "watch a movie" and end up actually watching a movie. And then the dude doesnt even get the hint when she basically rubs up against him. At that point she probably said fuck it, ill get naked and if that doesnt work i dont know either. And it didnt work

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think there's still a lot less subtle ways than skipping straight to that. But, that's my opinion I guess.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Not just your opinion. Also, nature gave us mouths to communicate. This is always an option.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I’m so happy to have a partner who actually communicates like a normal person lawl

[–] Agent641 70 points 1 month ago

To be fair, she also learned that day that her tits can factory reset a man.

[–] MidsizedSedan 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

C) Cant tell

Maybe she was just getting warm and needed to cool down for a bit.

[–] Shard 14 points 1 month ago

Ah, classic "is she into you?"

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can add that if you ever say something that you yourself think was stupid, it's often better to just own up to it than to play it off (within limits). Something like "That was a stupid thing for me to say, I'm sorry, you're just very beautiful and I'm a bit nervous" as an example.

[–] Demdaru -4 points 1 month ago

...yeaaaah... that's worse than original. "Nah, sorry, got brainlocked cuz damn you're beautiful".

Make it informal, silly and goof off of your own reaction to remove the awkward and embrace the "you'll make fun of me for this later".

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I had something similar happen to me. I was helping a friend with homework, and she abruptly and excitedly said her nipple was tender, and showed me her new nipple piercing. I just froze and said it was nice. She lingered for a while, then put it away.

The poor girl must have been exasperated with me. I just never caught on.

[–] Buddahriffic 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's good because if you play with it before the piercing has a chance to properly heal, it can get infected.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Believe me after the fact I’ve imagined lots of clever retorts to engage in play with her other non pierced nipple.

It was for the best though. At one point years later she told me she was going to perform a certain sex act for her boyfriend’s birthday, but implied she needed lots of practice beforehand to make sure she got it “right”.

In that scenario I’m glad I was so dense.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

This is why even though I am pan, I have a preference for men. Girls drop signals that I ain't catching. A dude will just be like "I'm hard. Wanna suck it?"

Shit, I had a GF break up with me because she said I never touched her. Well yeah; I'd ask if she wanted to, she'd say no, then sulk that I listened to her. 🤦‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In an uber driver. Had a passenger ask if I was gay. I told him no. He said “that’s too bad, because I’d pay you $100 to suck your dick”

So straightforward. So little wasted energy.

Anyway, I got some groceries now so that’s one thing off the list.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

How was it?

[–] TriflingToad 24 points 1 month ago

I read that in the Wii sports "Nice Shot!" voice

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

I don’t think that’s an autism.

Also, that’s the shit you say after 15 years together.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

You've self marked your account as a bot.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Bit of both, I think.

[–] hate2bme 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] bamfic 1 points 1 month ago

Came here for this

[–] Sam_Bass 2 points 1 month ago

she'll respec you in the moanin tho