this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] saltesc 80 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not to alarm anyone, but unless you're doing the 100m in around 11s or less, current large crocodiles are still faster than you. But if you're fit enough to keep the speed going, you should outlast them over short enough distance.

And if you can't do any of that, well you'll have to run lateral to it and hope your agility out maneouvers them.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Mythbusters tested whether it was better to zig zag or run straight away from a gator. Turns out, it doesn't matter, gators won't chase you.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They've spent hundreds of millions of years sitting in lakes waiting for food to step in their mouths. They deserve to be called sloths more than actual sloths.

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[–] Phoenix3875 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Did they test it on alligators or really hungry alligators?

[–] Tyfud 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't necessarily matter. They just don't like running after prey.

They can make swift dashes on land to catch prey sunbathing or something that's escaping, but that's the limits of what they'd like to do.

It's like Pandas. They're cute as hell, but if it wasn't for us, they'd have died out already. They've evolved themselves to a point where all they eat is one specific plant, and they have such a low sex drive that we can't even show them Panda Porn to get them horny. We literally have to extract sperm from their balls and inject it into the uterus of the female to make baby pandas.

Evolution is lazy is what I'm trying to say.

[–] aubertlone 5 points 2 months ago

Dude you're completely totally wrong about Pandas.

Pandas only have fertility issues in captivity. Everything you described just now ONLY applies to pandas living in captivity

They do just fine in the wild. At least, they

The reason for their falling population numbers is their loss of habitat.

And if I remember correctly they have one cub every two years, overall low rate of reproduction but that has more reproductive strategy than anything else.

Suffice to say: pandas reproduce much more successfully in the wild than previously thought

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or that you have the adequate weapons on you, the knowledge and physical ability to use them properly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

chootem inna hed nah boa!

[–] misterundercoat 6 points 2 months ago

Serpentine!

[–] Anticorp 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Just so ya know, a regular modern day crocodile can also outrun you on land.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

Yeah, but only because I'm American

[–] Dicska 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah but I would easily beat him in hurdles.

[–] Anticorp 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

This is true. Or running serpentine:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"He only has a brain the size of a walnut."

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[–] Agent641 5 points 2 months ago

Don't even get me started on the pole vault

[–] Agent641 38 points 2 months ago

A mighty steed!

You cannot prove that humans didn't ride these into battle.

[–] Tyfud 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alligators can already outrun a person on land.

They just choose not to. Because they're lazy and they don't like running after their prey.

I suspect the same was probably true of whatever it was we killed off back then too.

[–] Bytemeister 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Flat solid land? Nah, person wins on any distance over a few feet.

Through brush and marsh? Nobody beats the gator.

[–] Tyfud 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That's not true. And another one.

TL;DR;

They can run up to 35mph over short (20-30ft) distances. Then they can run at a slightly slower (though faster than most humans) pace for a sustained period of roughly 100 feet (30ish meters for the non-'mericans).

In every scenario they can and will catch every human on earth except an Olympic sprinter. And even then, it wouldn't be a comfortable race for them.

The reason they don't chase you down and eat you on land, is because they've evolved to be ambush predators from water transitions to land. They are lazy. Simple as that. And their food comes to them in most cases. Why would they want to spend all those calories just to maybe get a un-tasty human? They conserve energy so they can perform several ambush attempts for prey, rather than one long chase.

In the end, their current approach gets them more calories for the efforts, which is why they've evolved that way.

But they can, on paper, absolutely wipe the floor with you in a sprint over solid, flat land. For 100 feet.

[–] Bytemeister 11 points 2 months ago

You should try reading your source...

"Experts say the American alligator’s top running speed clocks in at 11mph."

I a fat outta shape slouch, but I think in a life or death situation I could manage 11mph for a few minutes.

Sure they can burst a good bit of speed, but that 20-30 ft sprint mostly comes from them lunging with all 4 legs and their tail as hard as they can and then maybe 1 or 2 more lunges and some scrabbling.

It's mainly a matter of weight and gait. They got stubby little side protruding legs and they weight a ton incomparison to their leg musculature. They can high walk for a good distance, and they can gallop, but only for a few steps.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Usain Bolt's fastest recorded speed is 27.79 mph.

Unless you can dust the fastest man on Earth in a footrace, you're gonna be a snack.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not a lot of people can run 11mph for any distance, though.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fun fact, the reason dragons appear in literally every culture that developed language came from people surviving horrific encounters with enormous crocodiles.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Uruanna 15 points 2 months ago

But is that a fact

(it's not)

[–] expatriado 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

hairy crocodile? artistic liberty?

[–] lunarul 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Looks like they photoshopped a crocodile onto a bear

[–] expatriado 6 points 2 months ago

lol, i wasn't paying attention clearly

[–] Diplomjodler3 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Gee, I wonder why those died out.

[–] LesserAbe 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, who are they calling apex predator, take a look around.

[–] pdxfed 16 points 2 months ago

More like ape-ex amirite

[–] uservoid1 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] officermike 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Yes but only once

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Sure, li'l buddy! He's coming quick, so I'm just going to run over there to take a picture.

[–] TriPolarBearz 3 points 2 months ago

Yes, first you pet them on the outside, then you pet them on the inside.

[–] blackwateropeth 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit, sadam is that you?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Steve Irwin would still have fed them.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Crocodoggo! 😍

[–] Num10ck 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Gradually_Adjusting 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All those "dragon types" charts you see call this a drake. I don't really get that because drakes are ducks.

[–] PapaStevesy 6 points 2 months ago

But according to those charts, ducks are wyverns...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
[–] penguinsAreRapists 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see.

[–] penguinsAreRapists 17 points 2 months ago

I can barely take care of myself

[–] homesweethomeMrL 3 points 2 months ago

invents bazooka

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