this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] bamfic 141 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.

[–] ameancow 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.

"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.

[–] ameancow 8 points 1 month ago

Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.

Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.

[–] bamfic 2 points 1 month ago

Makes perfect sense! Like doing 69. Mouth grabs attention over genitals.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Pairs well with a choking fetish

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I'm not jealous. You are!

[–] nieceandtows 83 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand

[–] PunnyName 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone 8 points 1 month ago

He removed the ribs so he could eat them.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So you’re saying I’d need to remove 4-5 ribs?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees

[–] ameancow 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.

[–] mysteryname101 3 points 1 month ago

Shhh. It reveals our age.

[–] bamfic 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.

[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You shouldn't get your dog to suck your dick, no matter how flexible the dog is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yeah, they can't make a vacuum due to their mouth shape, so it's just going to be sloppy with a large risk of puncture. Totally not worth it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a win-win in my book.

[–] Speculater 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Old_Fat_White_Guy 1 points 1 month ago

A 50 50 will cost you about tree fiddy in these parts. So they say....

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Yes. I know peeps and it’s apparently awesome.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you remove your dog’s balls though? That might have an effect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...

[–] rovingnothing29 5 points 1 month ago

I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I have tried before whether I could do it, the answer was no, and I don't feel I am missing out on anything.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd imagine that gay men, if any, might be interested. But no I think most guys don't want to taste their own dick.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder if that's actually the case. I imagine that if I had the body of a (hot) woman then I would be turned on by my own body. However, I haven't heard of gay people getting off while looking in the mirror...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Gay trans woman here. Queer people absolutely can get turned on by our own naked bodies. I have first hand experience.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Let me present you gym bros. I also recall someone back in high school who said he masturbated looking at his own ass in the mirror.

[–] Thcdenton 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

This shit ain't nothing to me man

[–] EnderMB 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.

[–] Tattorack 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dude probably thought he was a h0rs3 character.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] Num10ck 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] mayo 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've had a couple tenga's but I feel like these are meant to be disposable. Never a flip though, kind of pricey.

[–] Num10ck 2 points 1 month ago

some people treat all sexual objects as disposable. protect your heart.