this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 134 points 2 months ago (3 children)

qt cashier

Does this imply the existance of gtk cashiers?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nowadays you're most likely to find an electron cashier than any other.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

That's why they are so bloated and slow

[–] Mango 13 points 2 months ago

Son, I am proud of you.

[–] rain_worl 10 points 2 months ago

see, this is why i love lemmy

[–] [email protected] 116 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A fake story about how fat people and women are evil, nice

[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Why would someone lie on the internet?

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Who is being evil in this example exactly?

[–] Klear 8 points 2 months ago
[–] DarkSpectrum 111 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thinks she's cute one second, calls her a bitch the next. His loneliness has nothing to do with pizza.

[–] BenLeMan 8 points 2 months ago

No! It's the females' fault that men are feeling bad about themselves, didn't you know?

[–] [email protected] 107 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  • Prevents OP from forgetting their backpack.

  • is a bitch

Hmmmmmmm…

[–] drunkpostdisaster 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Eh, the style of 4chan is to go over the top. I would not look into that to much. Now as for overall culture of 4chan...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Blatant misogyny: used casually

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

To be fair, they're not particularly misogynistic. Jews, Aryans, gays, blacks, animals, Dems, Republicans - any group with a label is treated like trash on 4chan

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They even treat themselves like trash much of the time. Just goes to show that 4chan is literal trash.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

If OP said "Bitch, I blah blah blah" then it could be argued that it's a figure of speech and not directed towards the waitress... but OP said "Fucking bitch" with no comma, so it's clearly directed at her.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago

bro couldn't even wait to get home

[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

His crippling meatball addiction. She can never know he fell off the wagon. I've seen it before. You think it's a safety food, the easy pick off the menu. Then you hear something messing with the trash cans late one night, go out to check, and there's your neighbor, in their underwear, six cans deep into a Chef Boyardee overload.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

"I could quit meatballs anytime I want to."

[–] sazey 67 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's not the second pizza that is so bad, it's the fact that anon couldn't wait to get home before scoffing the second pizza that makes him a fat ass.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I'm in this comment and I don't like it

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it was a solidarity laugh, like "lol i've done that too"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It might not have been particularly malicious, but your interpretation is a bit of a stretch. Besides, this never happened.

Something similar might have happened a few times, but never to original OP.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Oh for sure, it's all an elaborate work of art i know

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your fat ass gives away the fact that you're a fat ass

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

"Do these pants make my butt look fat?" "No dude, your butt makes your butt look fat"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I can't even fathom being able to eat that much in one sitting.

A large pizza is like two evening's food for me. I can't even manage half of one of the big Costco ones. Two slices and I'm done.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Your stomach stretches out after a long enough time of eating like this and you have to eat even more to feel full. Pair that with the availability of highly caloric foods designed to make you crave them and it's a recipe for disaster.

Watch some "my 600lb life" and it starts to make sense. It's a slow boil, to be sure, but I think it can happen to anyone that isn't paying attention, who uses food and that feeling of fullness to cope with whatever negative feelings they have. I like Sean of steel (former 600lber), he gives some really good context in his react vids on youtube.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

As an above average American, I can. I have eaten an entire pizza and then gone back for seconds multiple times. You're supposed to not feel hungry after you eat, but I lack that crucial sense.

I don't do that anymore, but that's only because I remind myself that it's not normal to finish an entire large pizza in one sitting and I'm weird if I do it

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

one time after a really bad breakup i went into a pizza place (thin crust, personal sized pizzas, "artisan" but local so not expensive) and kept ordering pizza after pizza. by the third one they seemed to think i was a food critic or something, brought a glass of wine to pair with it

[–] Trae 7 points 2 months ago

Nah, they felt bad that you housed 3 pizzas by yourself and hoped some alcohol would cheer you up.

[–] Etterra 18 points 2 months ago

"fucking bitch" describes the greentext poster (assuming this is even real) not the girl.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Holy fuck I wish could have this problem

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's never too late to start externalizing shame to protect what's left of your ego.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I just want to be able to eat food

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[–] SassyRamen 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm jiggeling from laughing at this

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Always get a backup pizza. Order an extra to-go with your dine-in pizza so it seems like you have a plan with the second pizza. You can never have too much pizza.

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[–] Lauchs 3 points 2 months ago

I feel like anon watched this for inspiration:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/EXNPWNWibeoQ7Wsg/?mibextid=Le6z7H

(Sorry, best video I could find after a quick google)

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