this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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top 29 comments
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[–] brlemworld 48 points 1 week ago (5 children)

3 issues

  1. Not standing
  2. There are 5 of them
  3. Which Jesus?
[–] FlyingSquid 29 points 1 week ago (4 children)

#3 is clear. When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

That was a very unexpected and wild ride through Wikipedia.

[–] aeronmelon 5 points 1 week ago

When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

The same holds true for Martin Sheen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKhTFDBj-rw

[–] JusticeForPorygon 3 points 1 week ago

When the president stands, nobody sits

[–] Alterforlett 2 points 1 week ago

Later that morning, Puke noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where he had left him and posed for Polaroids with the corpse before calling for an ambulance.

Jesus Christ!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] rob_t_firefly 4 points 1 week ago

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

dir: Andrew Adamson

[–] gedaliyah 6 points 1 week ago

Maybe the fifth one is Jesus?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Plot twist: the guy in the middle is jesus.

[–] problematicPanther 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This reminds me of a joke:

Why didn't Jesus play basketball? Because soccer is a much more popular sport in Mexico.

[–] FlyingSquid 9 points 1 week ago

Not only does Jesus play basketball, he's a super dick about it:

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think that's somewhere in Luke.

[–] yemmly 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Plot twist: That’s not all that’s in Luke.

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know about Luke, but this is in Matthew (15:11)-

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

So swallow, don't spit.

[–] rob_t_firefly 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What about what goes into, out of, and back into their mouth in rapid succession?

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 1 week ago

He didn't make a judgment there apparently.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

The guy in the middle can't tie his tie correctly. You don't leave it hanging on the side like that. I don't trust guys like that.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They say that they will stand for Jesus, not that they're currently standing for Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It's always what they will do tomorrow and never what can be done today, amiright?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I got all the way down on my one knee and nothing short of the second coming is gonna move me from this spot

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 1 points 1 week ago

Don't think you can swallow the first coming in time?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ok I think I've got it.

Jesus is like Voltron, the 3 dudes in the middle combine to form him.
And the 2 on the ends are the spiritual equivalent of two men each, which is why all the parts of Jesus are hanging out with them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Of shit what if it's like Captain planet, and if they all stand up at the same time it'll summon Jesus?
They're not allowed standing because they don't want to trigger the rapture!

[–] johsny 6 points 1 week ago

There is a lot of moustache going on there.

[–] Sam_Bass 3 points 1 week ago

Two grinners, three sinners. Nothing odd there at all

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is this a proto-Piper Perri meme?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

They're waiting for Jesus' second coming