this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 199 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Don’t forget automatically killing orphans

[–] MajinBlayze 131 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Before killing yourself, it's your responsibility to kill your children

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago

...and people worry about the name of a git branch.

[–] ZILtoid1991 13 points 2 months ago

Garbage collection is such an evil thing...

[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"how to kill orphaned children in Java"

what do you mean Java is also the name of an island

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Java (pronounced jay-va) is also the name of a town near me in Western NY.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You should tell them that this pronunciation sucks.

[–] littlewonder 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait until you hear there's a town in NY named Gotham--pronounced GOthum.

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[–] TheBat 88 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Dont ignore 'Simple Children'

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Playground zone signs where I live often read "slow children playing". It's supposed to be "slow (children playing)" but I always get a kick out of reading it as "(slow children) playing".

[–] Klear 16 points 2 months ago

Dumping core FTW

[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd like more pixels please. Literally can't read it...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I could make out a line that says div element contained inline span child, forcing all children to be wrapped in a block.

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[–] mlg 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I actually got flagged on reddit for a joke comment I made with a 3 liner code block that had something like thread.kill()

It thought I was promoting violence lol

[–] SpaceNoodle 46 points 2 months ago

Reddit: for bots, by bots

[–] Pantsofmagic 18 points 2 months ago

Imagine the possibilities when AI gets involved and can't distinguish between killing children (programming) vs IRL.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

A bit like when we renamed all the master/slave terminology using different phrasing that's frankly more useful a lot of the time, I think it's about time we got rid of this "child" task nonsense. I suggest "subtask". Then we can reword these books into something that no-one can make stupid jokes about any more, like "how to keep your subs in line" and "how to punish your subs when they've misbehaved".

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

"How to enter subspace" "How to bind subs"

[–] calcopiritus 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I don't think changing a profession's terms to "prevent stupid jokes" is a smart move.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dumping Core

When your entire identity is about pooping.

[–] Pantsofmagic 6 points 2 months ago

Isn't yours?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

At some I added logging to a thread pool, when it gave up on child-threads, it would be logging things like

"Child 123 is being aborted"

Not the best of phrasing for people that didn't know what that was about...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh, so that's where the creator of ReiserFS got the idea.

[–] ZILtoid1991 12 points 2 months ago

That was his wife.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Dumping core

Oh, thats why captains in Star Trek do it every even remotely excusable change they get.
("Why did we dump the core & why did it detonate??" - "I wanted to see if I can brew coffee in the vacuum of space.")

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

He dumped core. All over the floor. What a mess.

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