this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Why doesn't this exist?

Take dried beans, roast 'em, grind 'em, and brew some bean juice?

I have no idea if it would taste good or not, but we don't know if we don't try.

Edit: I need to see what dried beans I have and maybe go shopping. I will give this a try with a couple different types of beans and report back if I fart or not.

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Ignoring the fact that coffee beans aren't beans, for the same reason we don't make tea with just any leaf. Someone braver than you tried it and it was disgusting.

[–] Maggoty 32 points 2 months ago (5 children)

We do make tea with a lot more plants than people realize though.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Absolutely that's why I didn't specify a leaf type. Probably could have said poison ivy and been fine though

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[–] z00s 16 points 2 months ago
[–] tamal3 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or toxic! Don't forget toxic.

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[–] Lemming6969 8 points 2 months ago

Tisane to be pedantic

[–] AbouBenAdhem 77 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Coffee isn’t a true bean—it’s more closely related to gardenias.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Just to piggyback on this. The simple truth is that lot of things are just called things because they resemble other things, either in form or function.

Coffee is not a bean; beans come from legumes, coffee fruit seeds are roughly bean sized and shaped.

Cacao and vanilla are also not legumes.

The peanut is a legume like beans and peas, but the it’s fruit treated like a culinary nut.

Cashews are not true nuts. They Grow outside the actual fruit.

Nut milk and butter do not come from mammary glands.

Tea is made for the leaves of the tea plant (Camellia sinensis), which is a shrub or small tree, but many infusions of dried plant matter are often referred to as teas. The Tea Tree (Melaleuca) of oil fame is a different plant entirely. It got its name because some sailors made a ‘tea’ from its leaves after they ran out of real tea leaves.

Currants (genus Ribes) are actually named after raisins. Raisins of Corinth were small raisins that were produced and exported from… well… Corinth. Over time ‘Corinth’ morphed into ‘currant’, they dropped the ‘raisins of’, and the local small dryable fruit started being referred to as a currants too. Eventually, production of the tiny raisins migrated to other parts of Greece and some smart guy thought “Hey! Let’s market these fancy tiny raisins that we are importing from Zante (the greek island Zakynthos) by calling them Zante Currants to distinguish them from the common local currants.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

And many "flowers" are not flowers at all. Poinsettia is the first one that comes to mind, but there are lots of them.

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[–] spacemanspiffy 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Interesting, but the all-knowing Wikipedia seems to agree with you:

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_bean:

Even though the coffee beans are not technically beans, they are referred to as such because of their resemblance to true beans.

I'm still tempted to try this, though.

[–] trxxruraxvr 17 points 2 months ago

Do not do this with dried beans. Most dried beans are toxic and need to be soaked and boiled for about half an hour to become edible.

From the Wikipedia page for kidney beans:

As few as five raw beans or a single undercooked kidney bean can cause severe nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal pains.

[–] XeroxCool 54 points 2 months ago

Instructions unclear, made chili

[–] Treczoks 49 points 2 months ago (5 children)

A lot of things in botany have similar names, but are totally different things. A "strawberry" is a berry only by names (it's closest relative is the hazelnut, IIRC), a "peanut" is no nut, either.

So it should not surprize when one learns that the Cofea plant is a Rubiaceae family plant, not a Fabaceae/Leguminosae family plant, i.e. what we commonly call "beans" like green beans, peas, or, amazingly, peanuts. It is just called a "coffee bean" because it reminded someone back in time of a bean, shapewise.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The question still stands... Where is my hot green bean juice?!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A "strawberry" is a berry only by names (it's closest relative is the hazelnut, IIRC),

Close relatives to strawberries are other similar plants like Sibbaldia. More distantly related are roses and lots of other fruits like raspberries, apples, peaches and so on. Hazelnuts are even more distantly related (not super far, but also not super close). You're probably thinking of hazelnuts because the small seeds on strawberries are technically nuts.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A vanilla soy late is actually a 3 bean soup.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately only in culinary terms, as neither vanilla nor coffee beans are true beans

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago

coffee is a seed, not a bean, pulse, or legume.

[–] Carrolade 29 points 2 months ago (5 children)

We do in some cases, you've basically described hot coca for instance. But yeah, you might be onto something, roast up some kidney beans and see what happens.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Carrolade 8 points 2 months ago

Beans are a particular type of seed.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Coffee "beans" are closer to cherry pits than any real bean.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Their beauty is beyond compare.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 6 points 2 months ago

They aren't close to cherry pits at all.

[–] Tehdastehdas 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I drank it in Taiwan among other very low sugar juices that I prefer over plain water. It's just one of many drinks made from ingredients we never thought of, like mushroom drinks and cereal grain drinks. The bean drink must have been forgettable enough that I can't describe the taste after four years away.

https://www.agv.com.tw/product-category/beverages/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just wanted to add that tea with black beans, red beans, roasted barley, roasted rice etc are common in Japan. I assume Taiwan has the same, judging from the drinks posted above (the label even says the Japanese name in roman letters).

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

but we don't know if we don't try

Someone probably already tried. Every time you are asking yourself "am I the first one to think of x?", the answer is usually no.

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[–] over_clox 18 points 2 months ago

No caffeine yo, that's where it's at for most people. But hey, ain't nobody gonna stop you from trying. Let us know how it goes if you ever do try.

[–] heydo 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You should know that undercooked beans can be poisonous, and it is best to soak them before cooking.

If you do try this please prepare the beans properly first.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I strongly suspect that many of these things have already, uh, been tried.

As for those that clearly made it through at least one round of testing, a self-styled "Weird Explorer" has a YouTube series called "That's not coffee" where he - and occasionally a friend or two - reviews some of them.

Not sure if there's anyone on there who has tried roasting and grinding other sorts of beans for science though. The closest I can think of is the various creators making tofu alternatives from beans that aren't soy, which kind of turns the whole thing on its head: Could you make a tofu from coffee beans? (I'm guessing not, but that's another for-science idea.)

[–] BenLeMan 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

ITT: Because it would be disgustang and possibly poisonous.

[–] spittingimage 13 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Because we're not criminally insane.

But since we're on this fascinating topic, here's a Youtube video about other things people have tried to substitute for coffee during the American civil war. (Hint: not beans.)

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[–] Anticorp 11 points 2 months ago

Because it would taste disgusting, and it doesn't have caffeine, so there's no motivation to drink it.

[–] HelluvaKick 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We have coffee. We have tea.

I assume humans have run hot water through every conceivable plant grounds to see what it would taste like.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Edit: I need to see what dried beans I have and maybe go shopping. I will give this a try with a couple different types of beans and report back if I fart or not.

Hope you have some alpha-galactosidase at your disposal.

The simplified explanation: A reason beans give some people gas is due to certain types of sugars and carbohydrates they contain. Those sugars are water soluble. Seems like brewing beans would concentrate those sugars and lead to epic tootage.

Also, one method for reducing how much gas that beans cause is to soak them in lots of water. Basically, soak them for up to 8 hours, drain, rinse, and repeat a couple more times. It works on the same principal, that the soaking process will remove at least some of the problematic, water soluble sugars. Supposedly adding a small amount of baking soda helps, too. I'm less certain about that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Also aren't kidney beans highly poisonous when consumed dried?

[–] trxxruraxvr 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yes, many beans are, but kidney beans more than most. They need to be soaked and cooked for a significant amount of time to neutralize the toxins.

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[–] njordomir 7 points 2 months ago (8 children)

My elderly relative in Germany used to drink Caro? Carro? coffee. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caro_(drink) Barely, Rye, and Chicory. Chicory, if I recall correctly is still in various things, including Fiber Snack Bars. I had to look it up since I didn't know what it was and wanted to know if it was bad for me in some way. Turns out, as usual, I should be more concerned about the copious amounts of sugar.

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[–] evasive_chimpanzee 7 points 2 months ago

Coffee beans aren't beans. There are some beans that are roasted as a substitute for coffee, like the seeds of the Kentucky coffeetree. In times of shortage, people have tried many things to replace coffee, like dandelion and chicory root. For the most part, the substitutes arent as good as the original, so people don't stick with them. There's a chance someone has tried to roast and brew pinto beans or whatever, but they probably taste bad.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's kind of what aquafaba is but you don't need to grind or roast them, because most times you want aquafaba to be quite thick. I don't know how often it's used elsewhere but I know it can replace egg whites in coctails that call for egg whites.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Because of the taste? While it's not common to brew a drink with other beans, we eat them all the time, and it's pretty obvious in doing so that they aren't flavors that lend themselves to a beverage.

Coffee beans are actually the seed of a more traditional "fruit" (ie, sweet and acidic) rather than a legume like other beans (also technically seeds, but vegetal in flavor, with an entirely different taste and texture). You're basically just going to get a weak broth from traditional beans.

Similarly, people have tried steeping every type of leaf, plant, and fruit out there in water, but it's a pretty limited list that remains popularly used for tea, as it's a pretty limited list (relative to the incredible diversity of plant life) that actually tastes good that way.

People use mushrooms, various roots (like chicory), other fruity seeds, and more to create coffee-like drinks, and/so with the number of people and cultures out there with their own tastes and traditions, it's a relatively safe bet that if people aren't drinking it anywhere in the world, it's because they've tried it and it just doesn't taste good.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that what black bean soup is?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (8 children)
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