this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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all 28 comments
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[–] assassinatedbyCIA 113 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] tomi000 24 points 4 months ago

I got a headache trying to read this.

[–] Tash 66 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I get the joke, but did the person writing this have a stroke halfway through writing it?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 35 points 4 months ago

Sadly no. That's just how landlords talk

[–] uservoid1 43 points 4 months ago

OP forgot the tip

[–] gedaliyah 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We couldn't afford to buy a house, but we couldn't afford not to. So now we life in a house we can't afford. Yay?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The trick is to just not live when you get off work to save on living expenses

[–] moriquende 5 points 4 months ago

just don't get off work - why even bother?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My favorite are the ones that don’t even include a refrigerator. Those are the types of landlords that deserve to have the house trashed by every tenant

[–] Theharpyeagle 5 points 4 months ago

I was looking around at rental houses a few years back because the owner of our current rental was kicking us out to sell. I visited a house that the owner was "flipping" for rental and noticed there was no stove/oven. I asked the owner about it and he said "oh, tenants usually bring their own."

Place was sketchy as hell in other areas, too; tons of those cheapo plastic panel walls propped up at odd angles hiding god knows what, bare hardwood floors that had clearly had the carpet ripped up without refinishing or even removing all the staples, and slanted floors that really made me feel like I was about to fall into the basement. Luckily we were able to find another place, but it was a low CoL area and I'm sure some desperate family got stuck in that heap.

[–] toynbee 3 points 4 months ago

I once looked into an apartment that was essentially an empty box with a separate fee for each amenity / appliance.

It's been a while, but I think one toilet was included, but nothing else to my memory.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Application fee is $600 (non-refundable), additional monthly fees for parking, trash, pest control, landscaping, an amenity fee to cover the twice a year that we set out a bowl of candy in the front office, a maintenance fee, a convenience fee to pay online, and an inconvenience fee to pay offline. Just kidding on that last one, we don't accept offline payments. On move out there's a $400 cleaning fee and a $600 carpet replacement fee that we charge to every tenant whether we clean the place or not, oh and we painted before you moved in so it counts as a renovated unit, so that'll be an extra $150/month.

[–] disguy_ovahea 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No way I’m giving up my Shark Bites.

[–] gedaliyah 5 points 4 months ago

Nor even a single fruit gusher! Enough is enough!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I wish. 😂 I’m renting a $2,300/mo dump in SoCal; I’m 90% ready to bail but my wife doesn’t want to leave.

[–] Raiderkev 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

$2900 dump in northern California here. Wife also won't leave. Comparable mortgage is like 6-7k. Shit sucks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It’s weird, I never really wanted to own a house until I experienced the LA area rental market. But buying will probably never be an option for us even with dual six figure incomes. 😞

[–] Raiderkev 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah man, like I definitely can buy one out here, but my quality of life would drop significantly. I've got enough for a down payment n we both make 220ish k/ year combined. I just don't want to spend all my fucking money on a place to shit and sleep.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Saaaame 😪

[–] clockwork_octopus 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

$4300 dump here in CA… and he’s been talking about raising it again

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ours recently raised it by $100 too but we don’t complain because it’s way cheaper than the local market. We consider ourselves lucky, but it’s still a an expense that makes life painful.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Yeah but this only applies to the big cities, rural areas are still pretty normal, right?... Right?!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

meanwhile municipal/co-op housing can literally cost 600 bucks per month for a 70sqm apartment, with water included in the rent.

[–] Nuke_the_whales 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How do you even get into those?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

the way it works in sweden generally is just that you have to sign up for a queue some time in advance, and whoever has the most queue points (i.e. most time in the queue) gets priority for new contracts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

2027: Change your direct deposit to this routing number and account number

[–] uberfreeza 1 points 4 months ago

Stayed at a complex with a laundry room that cost 1.75 for each wash or dry cycle. An apartment with a washer/dryer hookup (appliances not included, but could be rented for $120ish) costed an extra $50 each month. I'd have to go through more than 14 wash and dry cycles both each month for the hookups alone to be worth it.