I pondered my orb last night

See my response below to Captain Aggravated about how dilute those large stars are.

It's an interesting question whether anybody would actually feel spaghettification 😁 I actually don't know. You can use physics to calculate the proper time derivative of the tidal forces, but you need biology to define the start (and end...) of the process. My intuition says that it probably happens too fast, so once the tidal forces are strong enough to be perceptible, they grow strong enough to rip you apart before you realize (again, just a hunch).

Black homes are so massive and heavy that they bend light (well, technically every piece of mass does, even yo momma). It's bend so extreme that that accretion disk appears warped.

A similar thing happens with neutron stars that can also bend light in such a way that you can actually see part of the back of the star (if you were able to see it anyway, it would be dark) as light that would be emitted from parts of the back would warp around to the front where you could see it

Yep, you got it right. The accretion disk is actually really flat. Those images are produced in simulations that take into account the curved (and very complex) paths light takes in the vicinity of a black hole. These images really depend on the angle between the line of sight and the disk.

The second one. The image is simulated as how an external observer would see it. It was firstly done for the Interstellar movie.

Or is it exactly like saturns rings but we see the whole ring bent round the top because a black hole bends the light around so we can see it?

Hit the nail pretty hard on the head there

Yes, but red supergiants differ from the sun in that their photospheres are extremely dilute and don't have a sharp transition to the corona. I don't know the details of this particular star but take Betelgeuse as an example (it's probably not particularly large for this catrgory), it's radius is ~640 the sun's per Wikipedia, which gives a volume of ~260 million that of the sun. But it is only x15 times as massive as the sun, so on average ~20 million times less dense.

I oweeeeeee my Sol to the black hole...

Yes.. approximately 18.2 billion light-years out (⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

the scale is absurd for my monkey brain, its impossible for me to "get" it at all.

Man, I think about that all the time. We aren't even a drop in the bucket, not a blip in the history of the universe. To me that makes life immeasurably precious. We get to experience and explore a small moment of infinite vastness

The problem is the layout.

It needs horizontal dividing lines to show that the bodies are presented in pairs at the same scale.

When you first look at it, it seems like all six are in one picture at the same scale, then you start noticing things appearing twice, and think "hang on that's not right" and work it out, but just two lines would have solved it immediately.

Design, people! Design!

Or the Bobs