Simple really:
- A talking snake with legs convinced Eve, who was made from a rib, to eat a fruit that made her realize she was naked.
- ???
- Jesus had to be born of a woman, obviously.
this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
460 points (93.2% liked)
Atheist Memes
5594 readers
3 users here now
About
A community for the most based memes from atheists, agnostics, antitheists, and skeptics.
Rules
-
No Pro-Religious or Anti-Atheist Content.
-
No Unrelated Content. All posts must be memes related to the topic of atheism and/or religion.
-
No bigotry.
-
Attack ideas not people.
-
Spammers and trolls will be instantly banned no exceptions.
-
No False Reporting
-
NSFW posts must be marked as such.
Resources
International Suicide Hotlines
Non Religious Organizations
Freedom From Religion Foundation
Ex-theist Communities
Other Similar Communities
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
when profit?
step four: preach about the sins of being wealthy and hold out your hand with a cheesy grin.
profit after this?
Or is there a step five, just waiting to reveal itself, in all it's impossible glory?
that's the neat part. these marks are so stupid, you just keep your hand out there and they buy you new-model private jets.
load more comments
(1 replies)
If god created the whole universe. Why did he also create the snake in the first place? Was it because he wanted us to have to overcome evil tempations? Or did evil exist before hand, meaning god didn't create everything in the universe?
Either he's omniscient and omnipotent and everything has happened exactly as he intended, proving he's an asshole, or he's not and lied about it, proving he's an asshole.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Let’s just be honest here,
They kinda gloss over exactly how Mary got preggo.
I’m just wondering, did he pull a Zeus and show up as one variety of animal or another?
Virgin birth was meant as born without sin. So she did the mortal nasty
Which makes the whole Religious Right trying to paint it as her being magically pregnant all so they can make sex ebil even more hilarious
I mean.. Jesus DID had brothers and sisters, both from the same mother and some side work Joseph had with another woman.
Sin eventually caught up.
Well don't tell the Catholics that. They believe she's still a virgin.
Could you imagine being raised in that house?
yup. the question is.... did he show up like a swan. maybe a horse (poor marry. so unsatisfying,) or maybe something else. (tentacles seem like they could be fun.)
load more comments
(4 replies)
Virgin in this context means unwed.
But good luck convincing a Christian of that ;-)
load more comments
(6 replies)
"The angel came in unto her."
Interpret that as you will.
-
The angel came through the door and into her abode?
-
Or the angel CAME into her vagina?
I've had a lot more fun with Bible stories since I started subbing in "teenage Jewish hoodlums who know how to get shit done" every time "an angel of the Lord* appeared. I mean, why would actual magical angels need blood painted on doors to know which houses to avoid? Hoodlums, however, can use a code like that. Or how about removing the tombstone and telling the Marys " why do you look for the living amongst the dead?" That's a place for a bunch of enthusiastic, anti-empire teenagers if I ever saw one.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Got turned into a little sperm and inseminated the egg that way.
load more comments
(1 replies)
He ran out of 9th level spell slots and had to use an 8th level slot to create Jesus.
The question really starts before that. Yahweh is supposed to be "omnipotent" or "all powerful". So, why was The Christ necessary at all? If Yahweh could shape reality just by saying things and they became real, couldn't he just say "I forgive you" and "Original Sin" would be forgiven?
So either Yahweh isn't all powerful and there is some greater power to which he is subservient; or, Yahweh just wanted to dip his dick in an unwilling woman to create his son/self to torture to death. All hail Yahweh!
Apparently bro has a pretty serious code of conduct and adheres to it to a T
load more comments
(1 replies)
The thing is how you want to view it.
Option 1:
Neutral view of religion and history.
People tried to explain their existence and what they could observe. The Bible is just a big collection of stories that tried to explain their understanding of the world. Why it is how it is and who made it and why they made it like that. Why they have to suffer and can have fun....
Option 2:
Overall religious.
God is omnipotent but likes to do shit in a weird way for a reason. This is fine because this is important for some reason and not only what the result in the end is important but the way to it too. Gods decision is always the best.
Option 3:
Sarcastic
God is an asshole who just likes to play with the humans from time to time. Nothing he does is needed to make sense. He could in an instant remove all our problems and create a world where there is no need to suffer. However that would be boring. I mean look around most humans are assholes and we are being created in the image of God.
load more comments
(4 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
Because it's all made up, and the points don't matter.
Give the guy a break, it was his Hot Girl Summer, he just wanted to experiment.
It's harder to bullshit society about events that happened after they've developed writing.
It's simple, God was actually Aliens, and Adam was an android while Jesus was a human, so they had to inseminate real woman in his case.
Who was the fake woman they inseminated in the other case?
load more comments
(4 replies)
Because he already ate all of the spare ribs.
I am an atheist, but this doesn't seem like a strong argument to me. The answer seems clear: He wanted Jesus to be partly human due to all that stuff about sharing our sins and so forth. It's nonsense to me, but it appears to make sense to believers.
Nope. Jesus could not understand humanity because he still remembered heaven, could talk to and get answers from God, knew with proof what was gonna happen. Humans have no proof of that, we can't hear a god, no one I know and trust have come back to assure me there is a golden, beer filled, Hawaiian tropic model filled beach party waiting for me after I go through all this cancer bullshit.
Magik
The Gathering?
I'd tap that.
The same reason why Leia Organa remembers her mother despite her dying in Revenge of the Sith - the power of retconning sometimes has its... drawbacks
I always imagined she "remembered" through her force sensitivity; not unlike Dune's genetic memory concept
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
While I agree this is funny (and am aware this is a meme community) I'd be careful to not use this as an argument. Nowhere does it say the only way God could've sent Jesus was through a virgin birth.
load more comments
(2 replies)
God finally busts a nut and y'all want to shame him.
It was premarital sex, so he deserves it for breaking the 10 commandments.
With a minor...
Actually, fucking a child is not a sin. It is not condemned anywhere in the bible. Neither is rape.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Jesus was “created” as deity incarnate (need the flesh to make the flesh) and Adam as a divine being(given free will as a divine creation…until he chose the wrong thing)?
view more: next ›