Atheist Memes

Christians: "Well, you see, God was right because the Bible was proved true. That's why it disproves your silly science.

The Bible contains everything about life! If it's not in there, it doesn't exist!"

People: "Show me where in the Bible it has kangaroos."

Christians: "We're being oppressed!"

Seymour! Your pants are on fire!

It could also be based on any random tall dude dying from getting hit in the face by a flying rock, rare medical condition or not.

Or maybe getting hit in the head by a rock launched from a sling is enough to make a person's head basically explode.

Seriously, a competent sling user can easily kill someone with one.

Hitting someone square in the forehead with a rock, in the Bronze Age, was a quick way to kill them regardless of size. There's a reason this image

is both iconic and incredibly triggering to the IDF. You whip that thing around hard and fast enough, and you're going to crack a head.

So the whole biblical story might be based on something that actually happened

I don't find the story of a young, spry soldier with a bit of luck and some good aim thwacking a rival warlord with a rock implausible in the slightest. Its all the propaganda packed in around the story, what with David having some sort of euphoric epiphany and the rock being magicked by God to score the killing blow, that causes folks to roll their eyes in disbelief.

It probably isn't even all that dramatacized,

It is not hard at all to do serious damage with a genuinely made sling, there's a reason people wielding those things operated as a military unit in ancient times, and they were pretty mean spirited folks too!

They'd actually write insults and jokes on the stones like "CATCH ME!", "HEADS UP!" "OUCH!" "BONK!"

Basically the historical inaccuracies would be in terminology rather than exact action, and also in David not following the shot up with "THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS!"

Is wine not proof of creationism? Pretty sure there was wine in the bible and I've definitely seen wine irl. Checkmate.

God created one very big dude one time specifically so that his Prophesized God-King could bean the giant in the head with a big rock. We know this to be true because of this definitely real and serious image of a big fossilized human skull.

If evolution were real, we'd have an entire genetic lineage of giants running around. But we don't, because no other very absolutely credibly real super-sized skulls have ever appeared in a picture before.

So, checkmate Atheists.

7 cubits = 3.2m = 10.5ft

Maybe he was the original Funko Pop?

Goliath was actually built like Ivankov from One Piece

A wizard did it.

if you like me are curious where the battle was meant to have taken place it's here: https://maps.app.goo.gl/KGYCh7dmVGvcJ9CD6

tbh not that difficult to sail to Italy so I guess the case is still open

And how it was exposed to the elements, sitting on the forest floor, and yet survived…. Remarkably intact…

God works in mysteeeeeerious ways...

Agreed. Units are hard and for most of history there wasn't a wiki where you could look up the conversion between cubits, greek feet, roman feet, italian feet, french feet, and english feet to maybe get to some idea of how tall the "huge guy" was.

berry :)