this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
1270 points (99.0% liked)

People Twitter

5461 readers
419 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MotoAsh 127 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I mean, your cat will be old and feeble with slipping joints when you're just barely learning what an actually sore back means, so it's a bit of a trade off.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] samus12345 122 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Your cat also won't make it to 20, though.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345 33 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not having a brain that's too complex for its own good and can develop suicidal ideation is where they're really lucky.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Or depression. Or anxiety. Or learning disabilities.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh they can have anxiety alright

[–] samus12345 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And also learning disabilities.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean they can't even spell properly ("I can haz cheezburger" etc.).

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] johannesvanderwhales 50 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You shut your damn mouth, my cat is 17 and fit as a fiddle.

[–] samus12345 33 points 7 months ago

Oh, your cat will live forever!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

My cat is only five and she’s been pretty medically precarious since 2y.o. unfortunately. Cherish the time you have, I don’t think my cat will make it to 17. In fact, I would be shocked and thrilled if she made it to 12

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 7 points 7 months ago

My cat is 18 and just in the last few months has suddenly become ancient - fur badly matted, has trouble jumping up on my 1' high bed etc. She has always looked and acted like an 8-month-old kitten up to this point, very sad thing.

[–] MehBlah 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

cats regularly with proper medical care make it well past 20 these days.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] MehBlah 2 points 7 months ago

Of course that kinda goes with proper medical care.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The cat does exercise everyday though, they just have an optimal workout/recovery split.

[–] nifty 10 points 7 months ago (2 children)

optimal workout/recovery split

Sigh, I still haven’t figured this out

[–] berryjam 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Run 4 hours straight, from 2am to 6am is the ideal time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I keep trying but my boss keeps waking me up saying things like “I’m going to fire your lazy ass” and “why is my wife under your desk?”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I just do what the nice lady in the app tells me to

[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I bet the car does a lot more stretching than you.

Point being, don’t discount flexibility and adding stretches to a good workout routine.

[–] son_named_bort 65 points 7 months ago (2 children)

My car doesn't do a lot of stretching, which is probably a good thing. I don't think I could trust it to not break on the expressway otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

On the other hand, a more flexible car could get you out of a traffic jam more easily

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

At risk of turning the occupants into human jam

[–] Sage_the_Lawyer 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This was clever. You deserve more credit than a couple upvotes, so have a comment too!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Aw, that was kind. But people downvoted you! So have a comment in consolation.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] thesporkeffect 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The advantage you have is being able to jog for half a mile without having to take a nap (assuming semi regular exercise)

[–] dohpaz42 19 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (12 children)

Tell me you’re young, without telling me you’re young. 🤣

Edit: I’m referring to the need for naps.

BRB, going to go take a quick nap. 😴

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My mother is 65 and ran a marathon last month.

I wouldn't want her to try and do parkour or play football, but someone who exercises can absolutely stay fit well past middle age.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 3 points 7 months ago

I'm 56 and I ride a bicycle 25-50 miles every day. Getting old is not a death sentence. Oh wait, yes it is.

[–] Anticorp 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I see a 70 year old Japanese lady at my training hike location who runs circles around me. If you can't jog half a mile then that's not a youth issue, it's a "desperately need to do some exercise" issue.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 2 points 7 months ago

I have a 76 yo coworker who runs 10-15 miles a day. I am of course hoping for his death, but mainly because he is above me in seniority.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I’m 40 and can jog for several miles without needing a nap or a drink of water.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Are you some sort of mobile cactus?

[–] Dkarma 7 points 7 months ago

Bruh ur just out of shape.

[–] NewNewAccount 6 points 7 months ago

You can’t slowly jog a HALF A MILE???

Unless you’re 70+ or have other medical issues then that’s on you.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] odama626 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Its all in the diet, gotta start eating kibble

[–] SpruceBringsteen 4 points 7 months ago

Swear I remember a greentext of someone eating primate kibble for similar reasons.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

According to my dogs, cats are dumb and stink.

I'm not sure what you could make with that info, but now you know.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

People never mention gravity in these things.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Gravity is a social construct like money and rant. That's why we are bound to it while cats are not

[–] dohpaz42 7 points 7 months ago

Yeah, everybody knows it’s the density that matters.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Thank you! I’m so tired of Big Science trying to shove gravity down our throats when it is just a theory!

https://www.theonion.com/evangelical-scientists-refute-gravity-with-new-intellig-1819567984

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Cats have no limiter. They are like anime protagonists.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

Jesse saying he can't keep getting away with it .gif

load more comments
view more: next ›