this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
674 points (97.5% liked)

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[–] ChihuahuaOfDoom 48 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'm like 98% sure they do.

[–] kromem 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. In college my friends used to make fun of my confirming attendance to things in percentages.

"You coming to the party later tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm like 70% sure I'll be there"

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How can someone even be mad at this?

If you said 95% sure and didnt show up, id just think I rolled a critical fail.

[–] kromem 17 points 5 months ago

They weren't mad, they just thought it was 86% odd.

[–] zorro 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I make up random percentages for things 76.5% of the time

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And there's only a 50% chance of that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

But when it works, it works 100%!

[–] captainlezbian 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

80% here. It’s actually a great way to communicate approximate confidence

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

This is exactly how I use it and thus, yes, when I say 100% it has real meaning to those who know me.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago

"I'm 99% sure of this."

"It's 50/50."

"I agree with about 25% of what you said."

"There's not a 1% chance you're right."

[–] NounsAndWords 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My favorite that trips people up is "nine times out of a hundred"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Same energy as "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"

[–] model_tar_gz 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

“Spilt milk under the bridge.”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Probably a misaligned drain hose

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[–] over_clox 22 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Did you know that only 23% of social media users know how to sharpen a pencil?

And that's an absolute fact. I absolutely 110% pulled that fact out of my ass.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There he goes, the highest dude in the fediverse

[–] over_clox 4 points 5 months ago

You spelled drunkest wrong.

But I might have some more weed around when I get home..

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

In the future,

User: why does the pencil break every time I sharpen it?

GPT models: Statistics, that pulled out of the ass, shows that only 23% of social media users know how to properly sharpen a pencil. This is mainly due to lack of training. Let me help you with the steps:

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I hope Google has fixed that problem in the future

Otherwise they'll just pull the plug.

[–] Alexstarfire 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Given that every time my friend uses my can opener she has to ask me or figure out how to use it, I believe there are plenty of adults who don't know how to sharpen a pencil.

[–] over_clox 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

First you have to show her how to sharpen a can opener, then show her how to light a pan on fire.

You got this 👍

[–] Alexstarfire 2 points 5 months ago

You think I sharpen my own can opener? I ain't got time for that. I hire a bunch of microscopic guys with files to do it for me.

[–] Rolando 16 points 5 months ago

One call that I never will forget came at close to four A.M., waking me; he must have just gotten up in Los Angeles. His voice said, "Alex Haley?" I said, sleepily, "Yes? Oh, hey, Malcolm!" His voice said, "I trust you seventy percent" -- and then he hung up.

Afterword to The Autobiography of Malcolm X

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Normalize this. Measure everything thing that is measurable, and make everything measurable that is not measurable. We need quantifiable communication. End linguistic quinary!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

+1. i <3 float(x)

[–] Donjuanme 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I do about 80% of the time, and I try to be genuine in my approximations, and I will adjust them as more information comes in.

And if I promise you over 100%, it's something that I'm really excited about and that if you bail there's x% chance I'm going to not let you out of it, or find someone to fill in your roll.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Yeah this post feels like a personal attack

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

No, but I might start.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

When I'm uncertain about something, I'll often go with "I'm 76.5% sure that..." (Or some other number which reflects my confidence).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

On a mental estimate… 15% of the time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago
[–] FilthyShrooms 7 points 5 months ago

The only time I ever answer in a percentage is when im almost certain it'll happen, like 60% sure

[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Because no-one says 50/50 chance?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Everything's 50-50 if you think about it

[–] Tikiporch 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'd love a 50% and 1000% emoji.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I'd love an emoji that changes value each time you render it, making it hella confusing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

60% of the time, it works every time!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Yes? Isn't it the normal thing to do when someone's uncertain?

[–] SquirtleHermit 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

There are a lot of questions and statements with nuanced answers and replies, such as this exact exchange we're currently experiencing. 100% therefor indicates that you would have captured the concept perfectly as it relates to both of our relative experiences, without anything to correct or add.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Ten billion percent correct

[–] zewm 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If it’s not 100% then it’s just a maybe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

99% is more maybe not

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I like to give my percentages in like 93% prime numbers. It confuses people about 87% of the time.

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