this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
455 points (93.5% liked)

okmatewanker

686 readers
260 users here now

No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] confusedbytheBasics 59 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I do not understand why people are so upset about this. People kill vermin all the time in far more brutal ways.

[โ€“] paraphrand 29 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 36 points 8 months ago

The only correct answer. Idgaf about some sky rat, but I'd be a little shocked if someone snatched a seagull out of the sky near me and slammed it into a wall until it died.

I'd also not give a shit five minutes later and would probably regale my friends with the story of the seagull slammer.

[โ€“] nifty 23 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Right, this is animal cruelty. There are people who find humane ways to deal with โ€œpestsโ€ or โ€œverminโ€, so the fact that we have extermination practices for some population of animals doesnโ€™t make this okay.

load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (5 children)

And those people aren't any more right... Seagulls are actually pretty interesting, long-living, and intelligent creatures. They simply can't compete with humans, that's all.

Humans should be above this sort of thing.

load more comments (5 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

There we go.

[โ€“] Itdidnttrickledown 40 points 8 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Justified. I was in Edinburgh with my family and we had a lovely outdoor table.

I went to the bathroom and our dinner came out while I was in the bathroom and a seagull STOLE MY GODDAMN ยฃ30 STEAK. Just hopped up on the table next to my brother-in-law and yoinked my medium-rare ribeye.

Fuck those sky-rats.

[โ€“] gmtom 29 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Your fault for sitting outside in Edinburgh tbf.

[โ€“] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago

Aye who the fuck leaves a steak unattended in Edinburgh? I'm amazed the seagull got it before a junkie scarfed it

[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (6 children)

As if you wouldn't steal a ยฃ30 pound steak if it had zero consequences and no morals attached, besides that I don't think anything deserves to be abused before getting killed and especially not in public with children watching.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So you're saying he should had been more effective in killing the seagull in front of the kids

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

He just shouldn't have done it, but obviously yes that too.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

if it had zero consequences

And yet, here there were consequences.

It's just a specific breeding programme and he was culling the failures. #evolution \s

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[โ€“] AnUnusualRelic 24 points 8 months ago

As a seagull, I'd have done the same

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

I must say, it's brave of you to admit a bird outsmarted you. You must be fun at parties, though.

load more comments (2 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I'd say the comments section is gross and cynical, but then I remembered this is a British community.

load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] Reddfugee42 23 points 8 months ago (11 children)

Shouldn't of?

Literacy that matches the opinion

load more comments (11 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This thread makes me wish i was an alien, not part the same species as this lot.

[โ€“] Godric 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'd rather be Fr*nch than a seagull too! Wait, nah, other way around

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Gulls before Gauls.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] Jackhammer_Joe 17 points 8 months ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] Jimmycakes 16 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Do British people go on vacation and just eat the same bullshit as at home

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Don't want to accidentally eat any of that foreign muck or speak the lingo.

Stick to nice British food, like curry, burgers, Chinese, or pizza.

load more comments (3 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Seagulls are filth. The more domesticated ones will basically attack you at the beach if there's any food.

Hopefully we get seagull slaying more mainstream.

[โ€“] ThatWeirdGuy1001 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's gonna end up like pigeons where they used to blot out the sky

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Then we will fight in the shade.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This man did nothing wrong

[โ€“] Gabu 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Even if we ignore the animal cruelty, he was bri'ish to begin with. There's no absolving that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

and what? the kids are traumatized for life or some shit?

[โ€“] Godric 8 points 8 months ago

Yep, forevermore they will wake screaming at the thought of some geriatric gammon about to grab them by the legs

[โ€“] CptEnder 10 points 8 months ago

Damn didn't know Jeremy Clarkson hated Brighton so much

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

this one is a classic at this point

[โ€“] Shellbeach 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I will not... No, I will not, I will not I'm stronger than that. Oh whatever, I'm weak: shouldn't have.

Sorry

[โ€“] Garbanzo 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If you of ever been to the beach you would understand. There's plenty to hate but the seagulls are the worst have all have them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Da kids was crying cos dat bird pinched is chip.

Shud of giv im a medal. Proper geezer.

[โ€“] finnie 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So many in these comments deserve to go the way of that chip.

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Never realised "don't kill animals in front of children" was a hot take, but here we are.

[โ€“] jose1324 8 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Even hotter take

"Dont kill random animals"

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is this Ephraim Winslow?

The Lighthouse spoileraka Thomas Howard

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next โ€บ