this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 70 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I wear shorts because my body saw the "sweat" in sweatpants and took it as a challenge for all pants.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 8 months ago (2 children)

If his legs had to be amputated would he just wear shorter shorts?

[–] qwertyqwertyqwerty 24 points 8 months ago

Yes. Must. Have. Exposed. Stumps.

[–] jettrscga 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If his shorts always cover half his legs, how many amputations would it take before he has 0 leg?

[–] RustyEarthfire 18 points 8 months ago

This is known as the Chino's Paradox

[–] Agent641 45 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I was tge opposite for like 30 years. Jeans in every weather. 1 degree C and working outdoors? Jeans. 42 degrees C and raining? The same jeans.

[–] TheHotze 14 points 8 months ago

I'm the same but with cargo pants.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I'm the same but mostly because of health issues.

I live in country side and have some farm work to do, but because I'm allergic to grass and dandruff ( don't know the exact word for english ) if I go out in short's I will end up with legs full of red spots and itchy af.

When working with hayballs I literally need to have long sleeves and a mask to not have red spots on hands and not start to have problems breathing at times when my allergy is in full throthle at 30-40 celcius weather in summer.

The irony of being in countryside and having a farm but being allergic to what you work with.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

bro this is called being blue collar

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[–] Lizardom 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm heavy and my calves are like rocks from supporting all this mass. Those bastards are working their ass off when I'm walking they're often dripping with sweat. If it's over ~5c it will look like I slogged through a shallow stream - my pants will be visually wet within no time at all.

I was diagnosed with leukemia a couple years ago and a funny moment during treatment was my toes getting cold for the first time relative to my body temperature. I'd never experienced that before - it blew my mind and I became such a baby about it. It was totally intolerable. I finally understood what all the women in my life complain about regarding cold feet. ... Who knew?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I have lived in a cold climate area my whole life and have severe reynauds syndrome. It can be 100F and the second I touch an ice cube all of my fingers turn deathly pale. Nearly 100% of the time, no matter the temperature, I will have an extremity that has no blood flow. It is severe enough that it is physically debilitating. I can't play in the snow with my kids for very long, or play guitar without running my hands under a hot tap. Right now I have a cheap box fan running on low, 10' away, and four of my fingers have cut circulation. Because there is no blood in my fingers or toes, touching anything freezing cold feels like they are being stabbed. I'm also very prone to frostbite and have worried about losing my toes a few times due to it. I actually have little feeling in them and have lobbed of parts of my fingers off which can't even slightly compare to the pain of grabbing a cold steering wheel. When I wash my hands the water has to be scalding hot and have accidentally caused others to scald themselves by forgetting to tell them.

My body though? Can't handle anything above 75f. I'm comfortable in just boxers in 50F. I overheat in long sleeves so easily that I own 1 longsleeve shirt. I had to get the HVAC tech at my work to change the air exchangers so that my work area was 60F so I didnt sweat through my PPE.

Plus, mine is a lifelong curse unlike your wimpy little leukemia. I kid. I just wanted to complain a bit. Glad you beat the big C. I hope to never have that battle and hope it was your last.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 36 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm a school bus driver and I pick up many kids in Winter wearing only Summer clothes and no coats. What amuses me the most is how much energy they put into complaining about how cold it is. I guess that's how they stay warm.

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[–] Horrible_Goblin 34 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (8 children)

I remember going for a walk with a friend midwinter, underestimating the distance, overestimating the temperature (i mean, it -was- snowing, but that meant nothing... right) So we went out in our tshirts and shorts.

In the end, my mum spent 2 hrs trying to turn 2 goth smurfs back into human boys. I'd say I learnt a lesson that day, but one must not tell lies.

[–] Shou 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Lol. Made the same mistake too. Snow but sunny. On my way to the gym did I realize I fucked up.

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[–] numberfour002 29 points 8 months ago (6 children)

I won't speak for all "white dudes" but I know why I do it.

First, my thermostat is just different from average. If it's 70F/21C, there's a very high chance I'm going to be sweating, especially if I'm indoors and there's limited air movement or I'm outdoors and there's any bit of direct sunlight. Shorts make that a bit more bearable.

Second, given my warm nature, the climate where I live and my lifestyle make wearing shorts practical for much of the year. In the "colder" months of the year, it's usually a case where it's cold in the morning but warms up to a reasonable extent during the day. Guess what? I have an indoor, office job. I don't give a flip about how cold it is during the early parts of the day because I'm going to be indoors where the temperature is pretty much guaranteed to be above the 70F/21C limit I mentioned in my first point. By the time I'm off work and out of the office in the evening, it's warmed up to the point where shorts are totally appropriate and comfy (for me). Sure, I could waste time and energy doing multiple wardrobe changes throughout the day, but that's just bullshit and quite frankly, stupid, if I don't have to do it.

Third, who gives a fuck? Apparently a lot of people -- as it's very common to get questions or comments when I wear shorts during colder weather that lesser humans can't tolerate in shorts. I don't go around acting as the fashion police for your stupid crocs or question your multiple changes of clothes per day like you're Beyoncé doing a concert. So leave my cargo shorts in the middle of winter alone.

[–] NocturnalMorning 11 points 8 months ago

This comic is definitely about you, haha.

[–] creditCrazy 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Man I have the exact opposite problem I'm always wearing long pants in even the hottest of days because I'm constantly doing physical labor wether it be firewood collecting or shoveling gravel I'm always having shit scraping my legs so I always want some protection also my job has me outside all day long so when winter comes around I'm wearing my pants for the cold it's a part of my company dress code ultimately I've grown accustomed to work clothes to the point that comfort wear like slippers hoodies and shorts are pretty weird and uncomfortable for me for those reasons I just don't own many shorts because I rarely use them ever

[–] teejay 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Here you dropped these: , . ; , . . , , , . , . , . .

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I know a guy who always wears shorts, even in freezing winter temperatures. Hell, he got married in shorts.

[–] Jarix 5 points 8 months ago

You know my brother?!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Postie legs! I am a proud owner of some Royal Mail branded shorts and I occasionally cosplay as a postie with my hot Scottish legs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Do postman shorts last longer than other types of shorts? Is there a special shop they get them from?

I keep wearing massive holes in the crotches of mine. It's only my undercrackers that stop my plums dangling out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Pretty sure they're issued to staff and you can't buy them, they do seem to be higher quality than the usual corporate branded sheite. Had them for a few years now and my plums remain well secured.

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[–] AstridWipenaugh 14 points 8 months ago

This used to be me as a teenager. Hated pants. Turns out, I was poor growing up and had never had a pair of pants that actually fit me properly.

[–] Ultragigagigantic 14 points 8 months ago

I thought it was my body my choice.

Tell me what else I should do with my life. Tell me of the future.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago

For me it's comfort. I'd rather deal with being a little cold outside over being too hot inside, especially if I'm only outside for a half hour tops.

[–] Euphorazine 13 points 8 months ago

I wore shorts and flip flops to a grocery store in the dead of winter. Guy asked if I was cold, and I was like "I went from one climate controlled box into a drivable climate controlled box, and now I'm in this climate controlled box"

Yeah, things could go wrong like a car wreck or something where I get stuck outside for an extended period of time and would become uncomfortable. But it is what it is.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Literally Canadians in the middle of winter. With a T-shirt and flip flops.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

We're gonna drop shit on our pants, it's gonna be ketchup, or grease, or oil, or something, you wanna walk around with stained pants, or do you wanna walk around with stained shorts. It's a no brainer.

[–] Gabu 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

?

We wear light clothes because we're not cold. How exactly would they suffer from hypothermia without being hypothermic?

[–] AnxiousOtter 9 points 8 months ago

It's just a joke my dude. We've all seen that guy walking around in -30c wearing cargo shorts.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't even get cold in England any more. I've worn long trousers like twice in the last 4 years, and both times were for funerals.

[–] Persen 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Am I the only person who wears jeans the whole year?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Pennsylvania tuxedo

[–] systemglitch 7 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I love in the land of harsh winter even for Canadians, but one thing I'm never worried about are my legs. So long as the core and head are protected, I could wear shorts no problem. Legs are not the spot we are losing heat, especially the calves.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Hey now. I don’t even own shorts.

[–] Smoogs 7 points 8 months ago

I read about the guy who lost his legs because he fell asleep in his car with wet socks on a cold night.

Only white dude things.

[–] RIP_Cheems 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What's wrong with full length pants?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Given your perpetuation of one of the most annoying parts of reddit I don't believe your username at all!

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[–] toofpic 6 points 8 months ago

Denmark checks in

[–] Voyajer 5 points 8 months ago

They just don't get cold!

[–] Got_Bent 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Born and raised in California, I was seventeen when I discovered warm clothes existed.

That was when I flew out to see my mother who had somehow ended up in Wisconsin.

I got on the plane, in December, wearing shorts and a T-shirt.

When we landed, it was at a small airport where you have to get off the plane via stairs and walk across the tarmac to the terminal.

It was twenty below zero before taking wind chill into consideration.

I spent that trip wearing her boyfriend's clothes. He was well over three hundred pounds. I was one sixty in a wet towel back then.

Fashion hilarity ensued.

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[–] danc4498 5 points 8 months ago

Tell them I always wore crocks.

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