Remember boys and girls, we born different, we build different. We have a lot in common, but than there are your relatives, friends, teachers, city where you were born etc. You can compare two things only if you have all other variables are equal, which is impossible. Doing your best is different everyday as well as every month and every year. Achievements of others shouldn't bother you, only your life goals should.
I was gonna say something like this but you already said it, so imma add to yours
Everyone is talented in some way-- you might not be able to sing, or do acrobatics, or drive a racecar, but you can do other things. Everybody can do something, yes your somethings might be different but that's normal and perfectly fine. Things like talent and beauty are purely subjective, and even if you think you have neither of them that's just your opinion.
I do agree with this as well, but wanted to add a little something that might give a different perspective. Let's say you are extremely gifted at being a computer engineer and you don't know it. Nowadays probably you start fiddling with computers and eventually find out. Let's say that you are gifted for this, but instead being born nowadays, you were born in the 1800. There is no way to know you were a gifted computer engineer back then because, well, computers didn't really exist. The inverse also applies as well. If you are extremely good at lightning up street lamps, nowadays that skill is not relevant, since no one needs to light up street lamps manually anymore.
I do think these skills have usually some sort of equivalent (even tangentially) and you find out what you can be good at. Is it your optimal skill? I do not think we can effectively know, since everything is not available from both present, past and future, all at once to be exposed to.
Before digital computers existed, humans were the computers! (first referenced as an occupation in 1613)
Skills are transferable, though there definitely are many cases where people aren't able to access the tools and education they might need to make the most of their talents because of lack of privilege and systemic oppression (which basically means facing more obstacles to gain access to the same tools and education as the most privileged get handed to them).
So when you were born definitely matters, but so does where, to who, what gender you were assigned at birth, how abled or disabled you are, and so on and so on..
That does make sense, but I don't quite agree. To continue with your gifted-computer-engineer-from-the-1800s example, they aren't just good at computers-- they have the underlying skills (problem solving, attention to detail, able to apply abstract concepts to concrete objects, taking account of the whole system, good at maths, etc) and if they were born now, they also have an interest in computers. But if they were in the 1800s they would still have all those things (except for the interest in computers) and they'd be able to apply them to be good at other things
Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes.
I once convinced someone that they are actually doing a great job by sharing my struggles and showing that they are not an impostor. They now outshine me and will go to even greater heights.
And while that one episode of dealing with burnout and impostor syndrome is a drop in the ocean of their persistence, it’s a great illustration to how misleading comparison to others is.
PS: Also, if you have ADHD, you’re nearsighted in time. That doesn’t only mean “you can’t plan well”, it means “your life looks like a hazy blob, where others see a complex scenery”. And that can be devastating when doing a comparison. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.
It should also be mentioned that "talent" doesn't exist. Anyone that is good at something has put a ton of time and effort into practice. You're not born with skills, you refine them. Doesn't matter if you're an insanely skilled artist of some kind or if you're a darkness-dwelling, aurora-ignoring retro game speed runner, if you're good at something its because you earned that skill through countless hours of practice.
Talent definitely exists.
nuh-UH. Nope.
Talent ≠ practice ; talent + practice = greatness
Thankfully it's usually quite easy to dispel this myth by saying "then why are you bad at maths". We all had the same number of hours in maths class as kids, but some had to practice WAY MORE to achieve a passable grade.
Most people can't be Mozart. Some dedicate their lives to music, and do not get a fraction of the way there.
"Talent doesn't exist" is a lie we tell ourselves as a society because our individualist culture sells us a pipe dream of personal greatness that many/most people literally aren't equipped to achieve no matter how hard they try (and we should try regardless).
yes thisss i wanted to say this. if theres something u really really wanna do but dont have a talent for it, learn it, practice, get better and u can do it. applies to virtually anything
Don't worry, someday you'll be like me; you'll be finding out someone taneted is much younger than you.
The really fun part is that the first few times this happens to you, you're the same age and feel insecure that someone your age achieved more, but as you age in to your mediocrity you gradually get to see people who are younger and younger than you achieve more than you ever did, and now, likely ever will. But hey, there's always the memes to take your mind off it... oh wait.
This doesn't bother me. They're usually the type who put the work in to get where they are so they deserve it.
If it was a talentless incompetent hack who cheated their way through life and reaping the benefits they don't deserve, now that bothers me.
That's my secret: I'm always depressed.
20+ years and going strong over here. I wish my shrink would hurry up and get certified for ketamine assisted therapy.
If that doesn't work, psilocybe cubensis isn't hard to grow and it might even be legal where you live.
Haha suckers doing more shit while i'm just chillin is this supposed to make me jealous lol ?
Life is a marathon not a sprint. We don't all have the same problems and we don't all have the same tools at same time to deal with them and that's ok. The value of you is so much more than just the accolades you receive or the money you earn. The meaning to your life is whatever you decide that meaning is not whatever is forced upon you. Remember to be kind to yourself. All anyone can do is try and be a lil better than the day before.
Then let the thought comfort you that talentless sacks of shit are running NPC streams on tiktok and making more money than you.
I remember when Billie Eilish got big with her album at age 17 and I felt so crappy still making bat shit music at 18
Our environment has a lot to do with it too, like what we're born into. Billie Eilish's parents were both actors with a very limited amount of success. She's not a nepo-baby by any definition of the word but she had parents who supported her passion and a have few connections. I don't know what your situation growing up was like but I can take a guess and say that your parents said to you what my parents said to me when I said I wanted to be a rockstar. "You can certainly try, but most people who do don't get very far." They were right of course. You can cut yourself a little slack, life is hard.
It also hurts when they're younger, and have been doing it for less time than you. I'm a purple belt in BJJ, and have trained with people competing at a high-level that were basically small children when I started, and have done it for half the time I've been in the sport.
Pair that with working with several accomplished engineers at work that outlevel me, despite me graduating before they even went to university, and sometimes it's easy to feel a bit shit.
Did you start bjj as an adult? Because if so, that's why kids are passing you.
I will never understand comparing one's self to others. You're like comparing Xbox to PlayStation. I remember my mother comparing my siblings and I to our cousins who were hustling at a young age (looking back now as an adult, it wasn't a good thing considering their circumstances at the time). I retorted by saying they're different people, why should I care? Then thankfully my dad backed me up from my mom's nonsense!
Opposite for me. Parents always put me down and compared me to others. When I told my mum I wanted to be a plumber because they make a lot of money, she made me clean the toilets in the house for 2 years.
But that desire to gain your parents' approval is strong. I was a dumb kid with bad grades, and while I got into university, it wasn't a top tier one. Worked my butt off everyday, in part because I never got that praisal. Slow and steady, but I finally made it to a good job.
(Granted, plumbers still make a lot and my parents were kind of dicks for not realizing that, but my ambitions grew greater than that dream)
Try to find out where or what you really shine at, and keep going through that way!
and meanwhile stop comparing yourself to others
What do you do when you don't shine at anything?
To shine at something you have to put effort into it. Usually it's the lack of willpower that makes us average. Look at exceptional people, they succeed in very different areas.
Think of it like this way.
Whatever you think you are good at, some asian preteen is better at it.
So do stuff because you yourself want to do it, not to be better at it than other people.
I felt like that when I realized most of the men in the avengers movies were my age. Like damn, they're all so good looking and accomplished and here's my fat ugly ass failing at everything.
Genetics, steroids, makeup, lighting, and getting paid to work out. Don't beat yourself up, bro.
Huh, you know what, I don't think I feel like this anymore. I used to, but now it doesn't bother me. Thank you for making me realize I have grown.
First I just draw this head, then erase some of the details… there! A circle!
There's a time, when you will go to the hospital and the doctor will be younger than you. You will feel useless.
Hey, at least my feelings are accurate
Let's make ya'll feel bad https://sam.zeloof.xyz/
Edit: His youtube channel since the web page doesn't work.
the website doesn't work
Comparison, the killer of all joy
I remember I'd been playing guitar for about five years or something and thought I was getting pretty good when I met this kid who was 16 (the same age I started) who'd been playing for six months and was so much better at it than I was, it was scary. That was 23 years ago, and I might be as good as he was now. I'd like to say it never bothered me, but I still remember it.
Same age? These days I get this with people that are younger than me....
Remember, Wilford Brimley (the "diabeetus guy" who was in those ads to lean on his fame as an actor) didn't start acting until he was in his 30s and didn't make it on screen until his 40s, and he wasn't a big actor until his 50s.
When I went back to college in 2020 about half of my graduating class was over the age of 30 and about a third was over the age of 50 (and honestly the older students landed by far the cushiest jobs by graduation, so they were able to skip about 10-15 years of career progression based on prior work experience in an entirely different industry/profession
I had this when I discovered that my first friend who we bonded over computer achieved a better job at the same company. But I later landed a promotion that outdid him, so he can fuck right off. And now I’m in another highly desirable / competitive role. I’ve reached a point in my career where I’ve got nothing to prove to anyone but myself. It feels pretty great.
It's my whole life. Being compared to everyone and always being found unworthy.