this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
Bro, the genre's called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be...
She doesn't love you, you're the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
Beggars can't be choosers.
Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. ..and she grabbed it before she ate it.
Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.
Like a big filthy goblin?
I am a big filthy goblin pretty much. A hobgoblin, if you will.
knobgobblin'
Holding out for orc husbando myself.
then hit me up if your still looking
I think that might just be a hobgoblin?
Yeah I don't think I could go with someone who's like 2 feet tall.
You! You…height-ist!
Hey, that's not fair to the goblin.
I can fix her
Haven't smelled too many wild animals have you? They generally do smell like shit.
No they don't, who's your wild animal guy? Somethings wrong.
What wild animals are you smelling? Farm animals often smell bad, but those are domesticated. I've been close to deer, sparrows, rabbits, none of them smelled bad. Some snakes smell bad, but I think that's on purpose, like a defensive stink.
You ever smelled a coyote or a raccoon?
Raccoon yes, coyotes usually pull a gun on me if I get too close.
Hopefully they didn't get it from ACME.
Nah just some guy's trunk in Juárez
I can fix her 😤
Why would you, though, when you could have little goblinoid babies and save on the vet bill?
Thats fair, tbh.
you're aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
Anatomically incompatible meaning... Well... You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?
Like i said, people can be in relationships without penetrative sex, or do you think lesbian marriages are invalid?
Get a goblin dildo and you're good to go!
you still don't need sex to have a valid relationship
True.
yeah and it worked after i cut a bit off so what's your point
Is this how circumcision works?
Yes.
Not since I was a kid, it fit but barely... It was a firehose though so idk if that counts.
I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
There's rules for that and in this case nope.
Minotaur and Centaur is a nope, but Minotaur and dragon is a yes!
And clearly biped
Now Centaur plus dragon
Human genes seem to be recessive
I should have figured there'd be a cross breedability guide!
With the exception of using magic as pointed out at the bottom so I guess if they tried hard enough...
Family is family, even if it must be created by magic and held together by compulsion. ..right?
Fiction can be whatever you want it to be. There's no Right way to depict fantasy races/creatures.
You had me at smells like shit
Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance