this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
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[–] HappycamperNZ 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wanna fuck?

Apparently this works about 5% of the time. I haven't had the balls or single relationship status to try it out.

[–] NABDad 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been married 30 years, but I usually get a "sure" from my wife when I use this line.

[–] AngryishHumanoid 19 points 1 year ago

Really? I should give it a try then, what's her phone number?

[–] Speculater 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fifteen years here, but it's usually followed by an eye roll and a yes.

[–] MashedTech 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What does it take to not get the eye roll?

[–] Speculater 3 points 1 year ago

Her initiating, lol

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It works on me.

No joke.

As long as he's hot and I'm already horny.

I need to get a screen-printed T-shirt informing everyone that this pickup line works on me. It's so easy.

[–] HappycamperNZ 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do you find middle age guys hot, and what's your Saturday plans?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

hotness has nothing to do with age. hotness is hotness. Are you hot or not?

5% body fat, visible defined muscles everywhere, impeccable hygiene, golden tan, no body hair

Edit: update 10 hours later an old flame with precisely that description just called me 😛 but I've known him for 2 years and unfortunately he is one big red flag and I couldn't handle any much more so I hung up on that charming delusional criminal alcoholic narcissist.

[–] HappycamperNZ 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I can do one of those

no body ~~hair~~

Oh, and a second.

15% fat. Thats like 3x as good, right?

[–] MashedTech 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With stats like those, you will get them all.

[–] HappycamperNZ 2 points 1 year ago

Score

Sorry ladies, im taken