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That would actually be hilarious
And not even impossible. The EU council and commission can basically freely decide if a state counts as "European".
I think the biggest hurdle might be that Canada would immediately be the 5th most powerful member state because of their population.
The EU is talking to Turkey about membership (on and off...), and I would say that Canada is more European than Turkey.
Canada even shares a border with Europe, so I would say it's close enough.
And a continental plate
As the EU mostly does not decide population based but with equal votes per country that wouldn't be an issue.
The larger issue is the fact that the European and US regulations clash in a lot of things so it would be harder for Canadian companies to export to the US then.
But otherwise: We would absolutely welcome you.
I don't think that's gonna be a problem soon
Canada-US trade agreements not looking so binding ATM.
If the orange turd rips it up at will, the Canadian government should too