this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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For anyone that doesn't know about Death Note it's a fictional notebook from a death god. If you write someone's name in it while picturing thier face they die. You can also manipulate thier actions and method of death to some extent.

Death note rules.

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[–] gnomesaiyan 77 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (12 children)

Donald J. Trump - Death by french fry asphyxiation on live TV

DJ Vance - Killed by a falling piece of furniture

Elon Musk - Hit by a Cybertruck in a freak accident

Pete Hegseth - Alcohol poisoning

Robert F Kennedy Jr. - Brain aneurysm live on TV

Kash Patel - shot by an unknown professional hitman

Christy Noem - Hit by a speeding dump truck

Pam Bondi - Electrocuted by a faulty power line near her podium (live, of course)

Linda McMahon - Stone Cold Stunner by a J6'er

Marco Rubio - Smashes face through a plate glass window

Elise Stefanik - Falls out a window

Vladimir Putin - Poisoned by comrade

Benjamin Netanyahu - Islamic extremist knife attack

Kim Jong-un - Slips and falls down some stairs, breaking his neck

Xi Jinpeng - Exposure to toxic honey

I could go on and on, you get the idea...

[–] TheYojimbo 62 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Strongly disagree with the Netanyahu one. It would make him a martyr and create more problems than it fixes.

Just replace islamic with zionist and you're good

[–] gnomesaiyan 12 points 4 days ago

You know, you're absolutely right.

[–] garbagebagel 5 points 4 days ago

They'd still try to blame Islamic people somehow. Like how all the Jan 6ers were somehow antifa

[–] shalafi 29 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I'd put Putin and Netanyahu above Trump. Let the hard right see it coming. They would believe it was a coincidence, continue on with Musk. Let them see the circle tighten. Hit Kim Jong-un and Xi to let them know it's not a Western thing.

Roll on with the AfD actors, Nazis be damned. Still not cluing in? Start with the remainder of your list, roll.

Can we do a mass hit on the January 6th rebels? No? OK. Start with Henry “Enrique” Tarrio, 39, of Miami, Florida. And never stop until... Every. Last. Motherfucking. One. Of. Them. Is. Dead.

Spare Trump. Leave him shaking in his high-heeled loafers. Let him live in FEAR.

[–] gnomesaiyan 5 points 4 days ago

Haha, this was in no particular order. I mean, if I had Dragonball powers, I'd be razing the entire fucking planet right now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

RIP DJ Vance, poor innocent bystander got got for no reason

[–] Landless2029 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] EtnaAtsume 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Except for the names he spelled wrong. Some unrelated people will die.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not if they’re picturing the correct person. Writing the wrong name but picturing the correct person will result in no death so as to keep the innocent or same-name people alive. It’s in the rules.

[–] Stovetop 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Makes me wonder what would happen with JD Vance, actually. His last name has changed a couple of times, which of his names is the "real" one?

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It needs to be his legal name. That’s also addressed in Death Note, where the lead investigator goes by a moniker “L” and can’t be targeted by the Death Note until after Light learns L’s real legal name. Nicknames or incomplete names aren’t enough.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Think you need to have the person face in your mind when writing it so even if people share the name only the one you think about would die.

[–] gnomesaiyan 5 points 4 days ago

I see someone read the rules correctly!

[–] tomi000 4 points 3 days ago

This DJ Vance guy sounds dope. Which clubs is he at?

[–] x00z 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This list, but everything would be "spontaneous combustion" and happen at the same time.

Let it be an event to behold.

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yeah, to actually affect any real change, it needs to send a message. While freak accidents would make for great memes, they don’t send the “this is a warning; nobody is untouchable. You could be next if you don’t clean up your act” message that will actually cause lasting change.

Freak accidents can be hand waved away. Conspiracy theorists would go wild, but the ruling elites wouldn’t actually change anything. You want something that can’t be explained away as anything but a targeted and coordinated attack.

If you want to send a message, maybe have them all simultaneously choke on a 50 cent coin. It’s common enough that anyone can get their hands on one, but uncommon enough that you basically need to seek them out. That would at least send a “money bad” message. But be sure it’s something consistent, to ensure the message is actually received.

[–] TheBat 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Elon Musk - Hit by a Cybertruck in a freak accident

Christy Noem - Driving a Cybertruck that hit Elon Musk in a freak accident

Pam Bondi - Electrocuted by a faulty Cybertruck that was just in a freak accident

FTFY

Like Snatch

[–] gnomesaiyan 2 points 4 days ago

This is beautiful.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Robert F Kennedy Jr. - Brain aneurysm live on TV

This is absolutely a terrible one.

He should go by polio.

[–] gnomesaiyan 4 points 4 days ago

By Death Note rules, it could take too long and revert to a heart attack.

[–] logicbomb 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

For some unknowable reason, I am reminded of this exchange in an X-Files episode about a psychic who could supposedly predict people's deaths.

Psychic: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.

Mulder: Why are you telling me that?

[–] davidgro 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

He just got the wrong David, and was thinking of Carradine.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Interesting that only one item on your list would start a war. Guess you didn't see enough photos of dead children last year.

[–] gnomesaiyan 2 points 3 days ago

Care to elaborate which of these murderers you're referring to? Besides, I'm making a global omelette here. Expect broken eggs.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 4 days ago

This is quite psychotic.