Dad Jokes

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181 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
loopy
listing: all - local
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66
Post text, images, or direct links only (self.dadjokes)
submitted 1 year ago by loopy to c/dadjokes
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (self.dadjokes)
submitted 1 year ago by loopy to c/dadjokes
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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There's a new exploit allowing an hacker to run arbitrary commands on lots of Unix-based fish tanks, potentially making them pour poison into the water. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 11 hours ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
4 comments fedilink
 
 

This may result in remote cod execution.

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What is the smallest unit of measure you can use at Thanksgiving? (self.dadjokes)
submitted 17 hours ago by Tugboater203 to c/dadjokes
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Pil-grams!

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"I refuse to say anything without my lawyer present" (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
3 comments fedilink
 
 

"But you ARE a lawyer."

"Yeah, so where's my present?"

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What did the monkey say whilst pointing at Tarzan swinging through the trees? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
0 comments fedilink
 
 

"Man that's wild!"

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Quitting at BMW (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/dadjokes
11 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/22017704

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Low key fell off (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/dadjokes
2 comments fedilink
 
 

For those with lower back pain:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lowkey

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fell%20off

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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? (self.dadjokes)
submitted 2 days ago by Kintarian to c/dadjokes
0 comments fedilink
 
 

A pouch potato

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I thought someone had taken a dump in my shower (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Turns out it was just some sham poo

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Starting with a clean slate (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by gedaliyah to c/dadjokes
2 comments fedilink
 
 
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What is the easiest building to lift? (self.dadjokes)
submitted 3 days ago by Kintarian to c/dadjokes
1 comments fedilink
 
 

A lighthouse

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Make mine a double (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by gedaliyah to c/dadjokes
3 comments fedilink
 
 
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Why do anarchists make decaffeinated tea? (ttrpg.network)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
17 comments fedilink
 
 

Because proper tea is theft!

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Not quite Top Brass (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by gedaliyah to c/dadjokes
0 comments fedilink
 
 
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Bah bah baaahhhh (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/dadjokes
10 comments fedilink
 
 
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What is a panther's favorite game show? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Leopardy!

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Chuckles (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
0 comments fedilink
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A limbo champion walked into a bar. (lemm.ee)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
1 comments fedilink
 
 

He was immediately disqualified.

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity... (self.dadjokes)
submitted 6 days ago by Kintarian to c/dadjokes
7 comments fedilink
 
 

It’s impossible to put down

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My grandfather was in the very first submarine (self.dadjokes)
submitted 2 days ago by Kintarian to c/dadjokes
6 comments fedilink
 
 

It had a kaleidoscope

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What do you call a child that refuses to take a nap? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
0 comments fedilink
 
 

Guilty of resisting a-rest.

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I just bought a brand new belt, and it doesn't fit. (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Huge waist.

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Did you hear about the new broom model that was released? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
4 comments fedilink
 
 

It's sweeping the nation.

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What do you call a dog that is also a magician? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes
5 comments fedilink
 
 

A labra-cadabra-dor.

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