this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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[–] Mr_Fish 97 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

In at least one of the universes the house will have a chimney

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Hopefully all the Christmas decorations don't cause any quantum entanglement as he rushes around.

[–] RIP_Cheems 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Wrong, Google maps can track him and I've heard him in the middle on the night.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.

Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he's going or where he is, but not both at the same time.

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 year ago

We can't measure Santa at all if we don't want to have an effect on Santa. This is dangerous territory.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

SG1 is probably helping track Santa since he’s quantum

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

Are you sure that isn't just a peeping tom?

[–] RIP_Cheems 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.

[–] RIP_Cheems 11 points 1 year ago
[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your mom didn't shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.

[–] RIP_Cheems 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] RIP_Cheems 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, she never woke up to shot him. Only I know he was in the house.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then from your mom's perspective, Santa can be considered both dead and alive.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The problem with Santa Tracker is that he only visits like 20 cities accross the globe.
I live in bumfuck nowhere and I still get presents. That's how I know that Google is lying.

[–] Pharmacokinetics 28 points 1 year ago

No! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

[–] dukethorion 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Breaking and entering is okay on Christmas if you use the chimney?

[–] FlyingSquid 25 points 1 year ago

Someone's getting coal this year.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Entering, maybe, but breaking? What are they breaking? They're just going down the chimney hole.

[–] Crow 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like the idea of the time zone Santa being in is like an electron probability cloud.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I subscribe to the multi Santa theory

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

So can someone who understands quantum theory higher level than a simple idiot like myself confirm if this actually holds to real quantum physics, or is it just words?

[–] FlyingSquid 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As an expert scientician with a degree in science, I can tell you in my educated opinion that Santa's Quantum Superposition Theory is the best explanation for how I got a Zartan action figure in 1985 without ever telling my mom and dad I wanted one.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

It also explains how everyone gets exactly what they asked Santa for. Before the present is opened it contains all possible presents and once you open it, it collapses to what you expected.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wave function collapse is a totally real thing, yeah.

Most quantum stuff doesn't apply to our every day, macro lives.

Except seeing Santa. If you see him, run.

Don't stop running.

He's faster than a deer, and you need a head start. ;)

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 10 points 1 year ago

🎶Santa Claus is gunning you down🎶

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

To a degree, yes. As was mentioned elsewhere there is a thing called Wave Function Collapse, which occurs when a measurement is taken of a quantum system and forces the system from superposition (multiple states at once) into a single state. A measurement could be seeing it, scanning it, bumping into it, etc (not human conscious observation, that's an old and weird interpretation and not relevant nowadays).

Before (and after as well) you actually collapse the wave function you can perform meaningful math using the quantum particles. The one way I'm familiar with is for computer calculations, which is what quantum computers are aiming for. This is basically done by canceling out certain possibilities to only allow the wave function to collapse into ways that give meaningful mathematic results.

As such, this is barely relatable to a quantum Santa which uses this nature to perform meaningful present sharing actions simultaneously using quantum superposition of a quantum system that is spread out over a very large area. Of course, basic quantum mechanics becomes statistically the same as normal physics (i.e. 10 quadrillion particles average out to one normal human), so Santa would need to be a reality bender to allow for such small chances to occur to allow a human sized being to affect a huge area... but whatever.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Yes, but no.

A quantum Santa could deliver presents to every house simultaneously if nothing observed his passage. On the other hand, at some point the wave function will collapse, like say when people check what presents are under the tree. When the wave function collapses, the probabilities all go away and there's a single answer, so he could deliver presents to one and only one house.

[–] Zoomboingding 9 points 1 year ago

Correction: only MY house gets presents if I see Santa. THEY'RE ALL MINE

[–] Emerald 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Image Transcription: Mastodon Post


Bastett, @[email protected]

Santa is a quantum being. His probabilistic nature means he can be in every house at the same time on Christmas.

This is why it's vitally important noone sees him. If he's observed the probabilites collapse and only one house gets presents.

#Christmas

[–] feedum_sneedson 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's your parent(s)/primary caregiver(s). It's expensive and a little gratitude wouldn't hurt.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is santa. You think my own parents would just lie to me for over 30 years!? To hand the credit to someone imaginary? Doesn't make a shred of sense.

[–] feedum_sneedson 0 points 1 year ago

No thoughts, only Christmas xxx

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

So only Noone needs to wear a blindfold?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

This is not a problem for kids here in Finland. On Christmas Eve, there is a knock on the door and Santa Claus (Joulupukki) comes in to greet the family and bring gifts.

No problem with observation or collapsing Christmas probability fields or whatever. He brings the presents, you thank him and that's it.