this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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Programmer here. Can confirm. Coding is just a list of instructions we send to the tiny people inside so they know what to do.
Electrical Engineer here. Electrons are people too! Very tiny, quantum people, with very tiny, quantum hopes, and very tiny, quantum dreams!
Science cannot disprove this.
I hear electrons are really flaky. You tell them to show up at a specific place and time, and you just never know. Always getting involved in one entanglement or another.
It's frustrating because they're so literal when following instructions. I wish they'd do what I want, not what I said.
The trick is to say what you mean βπ€
They don't always listen, though.
That's why I'm constantly shoving cookies into the case. So the computer gnomes are happy.
That really isn't a bad metaphor for how the computer processes code.
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I say that computers work because we tricked some rocks into thinking by carving special runes into them.
It's not that magic doesn't exist, it's just that our current spells and rituals are rudimentary.
Iβd say itβs that the information on how it works is out there and not secret. If I want to turn lead into gold that knowledge is available to me, I just need access to a nuclear reactor and to learn a fuck ton of stuff.
Also the fact that itβs all very math dependent doesnβt help. The βwhen will I use thisβ subject is the biggest prerequisite to magic
funnily far more true than many might believe
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The smoke that comes out of computers sometimes is caused by the little people getting pissed off and lighting little fires out of protest.
Haha what? There are no small people in computers, what are you talking about?
sweats
Found the small person.
Education and wisdom are two separate stats, this guy didn't roll very high on Wis.
In the U.S., education is mostly about being able to regurgitate what you've been told. Wisdom is, as you suggested, not necessary for that.
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Who wants to bet he's just a Helpdesk tech and has no idea what an actual computer engineer is?
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I am a tool and die maker and I affirm that heart attacks are caused by tiny, airborne sharks that sound exactly like Steven Crowder on helium. When you breathe them in they go to your heart and literally attack it.
Iβm just a medical student, but as a computer engineer canβt he just hack into the mainframe and reveal that the earth is flat?
You can just dig all the way down to bedrock, right? Should be easy if you kill all the creeps and spiders
That would require multiple monitors and rave music.
Do the little people have pointy hats?
Get him! Get the geologist and silence him! He's unveiled the truth and now they'll take our tiny people away from us!
Probably working for Big Geology and the mainstream media!
the response fits perfectly π
No, computers work because there are very tiny rocks inside that vibrate when connected to electricity.
Don't bring your so-called science mumbo-jumbo around here!
I trapped lightning in a rock, and taught it to do math.
Computers are arcane wizardry.
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Inside every computer there's a little person
A very wholesome and talented person
And he loves you
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At least he used "affirm" rather than "confirm".
Reach inside your computer to discover the shocking truth...
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