this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] [email protected] 192 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Bruh, can you tuck me in?" πŸ˜‚

[–] einlander 59 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

[–] evil_ostrich 134 points 1 year ago (6 children)

My daughter calls me Daddio.

It's pretty fucking awesome.

[–] Everythingispenguins 30 points 1 year ago

Sounds like she is one cool cat.

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[–] Naja_Kaouthia 111 points 1 year ago (9 children)

My kids already call me bruh.

[–] EmoBean 44 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago
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[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I'd probably immediately go soft

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It's just deeply off-putting.

[–] Sheeple 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid

Mostly because I'm my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don't feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it's always the same old story when I encounter these men.

Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.

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[–] Harvey656 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My partner calls me daddy and she's older yhan me, so... what does that make me???

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (5 children)

You can do "Pa". It's objectively impossible to sexualize "Pa". You could try, but it'd immediately nuke the mood from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.

You can totally sexualize "papi". It's hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they're trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.

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[–] STRIKINGdebate2 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.

[–] Pregnenolone 22 points 1 year ago

Pa~ πŸ₯°πŸ˜‰πŸ˜©πŸ’¦

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"bruh or some shit" is a pretty long name.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago

Use the acronym: BOSS

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

They shortened it to just "shit."

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago

It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get 'mama' first, but I'm gonna aim for 'destroyer of worlds'.

[–] LemmyIsFantastic 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Y'all watch too much porn. Touch grass.

[–] Ddhuud 89 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] giggling_engine 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I shall fuck the dirt you walk on!

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago

Tell Dad jokes and all you get it "bruh".

[–] NewAgeOldPerson 39 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though... It's funny. People think this is a new thing. It's just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?

[–] Crashumbc 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing....

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[–] BilboBargains 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I henceforth refer to you as some shit

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ain't that Some Shit

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Thank goodness it's not sexualized in my language

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Sometimes my mom says I'm a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I'm like "uuucchh you're my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!" but I don't wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it'll just make the matter even more awkward.

Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D πŸ˜…πŸ€£

[–] MsPenguinette 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

you’re my mom, not my dom

This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.

porn music starts

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[–] RickRussell_CA 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Forgive me father for I have sinned

[–] Sheeple 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry daddy I have been bad

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Im vewy sowwy daddy I've been naughty

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My kids call me bruh and I'm their mom, so, eh.

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[–] Fedizen 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

that guy needs to stop watching so much porn

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Yes, daddy. :(

[–] arin 13 points 1 year ago

Pastor boys in shambles

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