this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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Edited to add credits that were cropped out. - WO

all 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] drislands 84 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Let's not share the version with the credit cropped, folks. Come on.

Original

[–] [email protected] 58 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've not seen this version. I was able to edit it to this with the credit. Thanks.

[–] drislands 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hey, thanks for replying. And thanks for updating with the uncropped version! Sorry if I came off as harsh. Comics with the credit cropped makes me salty.

[–] camelCaseGuy 4 points 11 months ago

Goddamn, this is fucking wholesome.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Don't blame OP ... they were taking their shirt off when they were posting this

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Ugly sweater party is tomorrow Costanza

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I started hating Seinfeld when they started doing this type of episodes (doing bizarre situation). I loved episodes like the Chinese restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I worked with a guy that only shat if he was naked. He said it was the cleanest and most comfortable way to poo.a Side note is that he went to jail once and he cleaned up his act after he had to "poop in front of another man"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

English isn't my first language, and I struggle to understand the last sentence.

Could anyone explain it?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The co-worker at one point went to jail and adjusted his naked pooping routine after the experience of having to poop in full view of another man, ie in a shared cell

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Yes, what's funny to me ... It wasn't that his homies were being shot or other overall dangers of dealing drugs in the ghetto. It was the pooping that ended it. It's kinda wholesome...kinda

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a native english speaker - I also do not understand.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Sorry... I wasn't fully awake ... I have updated the post for clarity.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe replace "that" with "and"? IDK.

Side note, I'm not in jail but I'm pooping naked right now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Yeah you are correct... I was duking at like 4am when is sent that so... Wasn't fully awake. I'm pooping again now, not full awake.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Shitting naked is a prime tier strategy.

[–] kamenlady 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Taking a shower right after is full stealth mode

[–] assassinatedbyCIA 3 points 11 months ago

That’s the optimal way to shit. You feel fresh both inside and outside once it’s all done. Those who know know.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I used to be a never poop without having my shirt off person. I always felt like my shirts were long enough to get shit on. So I think it was mostly paranoia.

I never shat in public spaces including school. I don't know when I stopped both but I can proudly say I'm a shirt pooper now.

[–] RunawayFixer 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Until you really really need to go hard, then it's clothes off again.

A few years back I had something clogging up my intestines (no clue what) on the night that I was going to take a 3 hour flight to a wedding, so no lying down and way too much sitting in a cramped position for a too long time. I never felt more constipated as after I arrived and could finally stretch again.

So about 2 hours later when I could feel that it was nearly time, I evacuated to the furthest possible bathroom (I didn't want to be a party pooper), lost all clothing except my socks and spend 30 minutes in agony, explosively shitting away, while covered in sweat and bracing myself against the walls.

All of which to say, is that you might think that you have left your shirtless days behind, but when shit really hits the fan, then you won't be able to stop yourself from going back to your old habits.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I mean I've already shit my pants once this year... It's gotten better after curbing the drinking but once you hit near 40s farts are almost universally untrustworthy.

E: Not to say every fart is a shart. But every time I've shit my pants the fart felt safe lol.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I remember a post on the Other Side in the Unpopular Opinion sub (before it turned into science denial and stuff) of a guy who said that they only poop naked because (1) you sweat while pooping and (2) cloths hinder you from moving freely.

This is real but for me it's wtf why would I take of my shirt?

[–] TwoBeeSan 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've had to take my shirt off in only dire shitting situations for the reasons guy mentioned above. Especially if sick, cloths could be constricting.

To have that everytime..... that dudes diet must be trash

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Constricting? How much movement do you make whilst sitting on the shitter? You're just sitting in one spot aren't you?

[–] TwoBeeSan 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Stomach aches always make me move around. 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

The best time to hit someone in a fight is right when they're taking their shirt off. They can't see and their arms are stuck in their sleeves. If they're going to make it easy for you, take advantage of it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Typically I prefer to combine these 3 activities

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Also known as: Second Phase.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

The poop sweats.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Prosecutor: "do you swear to the truth?"

Me: