These people don't even read their own literature. The Catholic church's ban on alchemy is about falsely claiming something is a valuable metal in order to pay for debts. It has nothing to do with the occult -- the ban was because it's a sin to lie / cheat / steal. A saint is even on record saying that alchemical gold is ok if the end if product is real gold.

With that context, of course God doesn't give a shit if you use SQLAlchemy as long as you aren't using it to defraud people. If you were defrauding people, it wouldn't matter what tool you used.

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Better not tell them about daemons I guess.

Just wait until they learn about Daemons

I don’t see how the term “Alchemy” is any different than “Transubstantiation”, and the Catholic Church seems pretty down with that.

Imagine living your entire life with this kind of fear. Religion does crazy things to people’s minds.

Yet they say “Easter Eggs”, referring to a Pagan tradition. As hypocritical as it gets.

The user shouldn't code in Python. That's a fucking serpent. It caused Eve to eat the apple. Original sin. Holy shit, the most popular coding language is from the fucking devil! Mask off, mind blown, what the eff.

Poor Mormons can't use Java.

This is the kind of person who would stick to IDE (with master and slave disks ofc) because S-ATA is only an N away from eternal damnation

I just skimmed this but shouldn't people who are unable/ubwilling to live in the modern world be true to themselves and also not code in some demonic language?

Just skip it and piss off dear catholic

import SQLAlchemy as SQLJesus

Problem solved

It must be exhausting to go through life saddled with so much mental bullshit.

Alchemy isn't even a strictly occult thing. It was something done in the medieval era that was basically a very early form of science before most of the things they were trying to do were considered impossible

Yes, it is. Please quit our profession and become a Mechanicus Techpriest.

Or, I guess, learn perl - it's sort of into that kind of thing.

Future TempleOS user

I used to have an rpg on steam, with "fantasy" in the name. One day someone sent me an email asking if there was any way to remove all references to magic from the game so they could play it, as having witches and stuff was a big no for them, but they still wanted to try the game.

This person is really gonna hate my new web framework "I submit to the horned lord, Lucifer, the light bringer and ruler of this world. All hail Satan."

I think it's gonna be big since it's the only web framework for Malbolge.

[...]tempted [to use] another tool called "Peewee"

Oh yes, OOP is definitely a Catholic priest

Oooh spooky alembics ⚗⚗⚗

Use Ark to compress all your files and place them in a shielded metal box. Save yourself from the flood of solar flares that God will send to rid the world of all the sinful data. Make sure to include exactly 2 copies of each of God’s programs.

Based on the comments in here, this joke went over many heads... Does not want to use a tool called Alchemy, but has tried one called Peewee, as in using Peewees in catholic church is ok (Peewees is referred to kids in amateur sports between 12-13 years of age)

This man probably hesitates to pick up a screwdriver when assembling IKEA furniture

Just fork it and name it something else.

The sinful tools with occult names work. I think that should be a big pointer here.

Poor thing. Wait until they learn what a single python did to humanity.

This post was a joke but I once had a woman scream at me for an hour that her account number had 666 in the middle of it. She was extremely upset that nobody warned her about this. She wanted a new account AND a refund for the entire time that the "sinful" account was active.

I should mention that her account was 15 years old at the time. The number never changed during that time it was always the same. She screamed so long and hard that they gave her a credit that essentially covered an entire year of service. I hate it here 😀

This seems like a poor attempt to get out of an assignment. Religion can be so convenient sometimes.