this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
830 points (96.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26670 readers
5142 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 171 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Anon was in a private home and ate someone's food

[–] ImTryingLemmy 63 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Drunk as fuck, someone took pity on him at the bar and gave OP some takeout.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Bet ya they charged him for it tho. As they should.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

The ol' RDJ

[–] Transcendant 90 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I've had this before, except I was drunk, and it was a kebab.

I really, really do not like kebabs... my friend convinced me to get one. This kebab was like it had been sent from the heavens, I was in shock, never had I experienced a kebab like this.

The next day, I messaged my friend asking where we had the kebab... neither of us could remember. I had a vague idea of what the door looked like, we searched every time we were in the city centre for many years, but in vain.

[–] comrade19 74 points 11 months ago

The kebab phenomenon. It is known to appear for those who need it the most, until it is no longer needed.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If you ever do track down this place, let me know

[–] Transcendant 10 points 11 months ago

Alas, I moved to another part of the country last month, and I no longer speak to that friend, so it's an impossible dream.

I'll have to be content with the delicious memory.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Those are mobile restaurants run by kitsune who cross dimensions to serve a variety of clientele. You just happened to have stumbled inside on the night before they left to another realm. Consider thyself lucky, mortal, for their food is god-tier

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

New reality headcannon. And if this is a simulation, why not?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I've heard if you take a plane, the simulator gets twisted around a bunch and you can experience some Real Shit.

[–] LordKitsuna 7 points 11 months ago

Oh I saw that one on nhentai ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] GrammatonCleric 5 points 11 months ago

🤘🏻🦊

[–] MargotRobbie 75 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Maybe he accidentally walked into some Chinese person's home and they played along and fed him to get him to leave?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

I'd bet money on this possibility.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We once accidentally did this in China far off the usual tourist locations for foreigners. People were chilling outside sitting around the table and we mastook them for a café. The host told us about the errors of our ways but was hospitable enough to talk with us and offered some food, which we paid for. That was an interesting experience

[–] MargotRobbie 5 points 11 months ago

Happens to the best of us.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago

Dude was eating out of a restaurant dumpster in a back alley somewhere next to the cooks that were enjoying their cigarette break.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"oh man I don't wanna call the cops on this white boy... Honey he says he wants the menu. I dunno. Make him some noodles and some chicken. He doesn't know I'm speaking English and not Cantonese, that's how zooted he is."

[–] Hnazant 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Can you be that high? People do on other stuff on the regular. Didn't they find Iron Man in some kids' beds sleeping??

[–] skyspydude1 9 points 11 months ago

I'd believe it. One time at a concert we all did acid and molly. At a certain point I needed to go down the stairs to another level, but as I attempted to go down, there was an usher telling me I couldn't go downstairs. So I said "Oh, sorry, my bad" and walked away. A few minutes later, my friends come find me and walk me down that same staircase, and the usher said nothing, which I thought was odd.

It was later after sobering up that my friends told me that what actually happened was I had walked right up to the usher, stared intensely at them for a solid minute, before saying "Oh, sorry, my bad" and walking off.

Another time, I had a buddy get incredibly high and was trying to run to the police station up the street because we were "mind controlling him", and then later that evening after calming him down, was watching porn and having conversations with the actors as if they were speaking directly to him. Not even masturbating, mind you, just watching porn to converse with them.

Drugs are a hell of a drug.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

>find the restaurant again.

>come back sober.

>food taste like shit now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Like looking up a mediocre band/dj you heard while rolling at a festival. Ugh. Makes you think maybe drugs just make people dumb enough to like everything.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Worked for 80s metal!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

I've seen places like this. You only notice them late at night when all the lights are off elsewhere. Operated infrequently cuz it's just a family joint and they got other stuff to do. But you chance upon them at the right time and oh man is it worth it.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Being high also increases the pleasure from foods, in my experience. One time my wife made chocolate chip pancakes while we were high and they were legit the best thing I'd ever eaten, but looking back on a photo I took of them they look like they probably weren't very great.

[–] Taniwha420 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is this not basic knowledge? This is up there with the warnings to not put plastic bags over your head.

Yes, my dude, marijuana makes you eat ALL the treats.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location.
The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror.
These are just examples; it could also be something much better.
Prepare to enter The Scary Door."

  • Futurama

And the original behind The Scary Door:

"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination.
That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!"

Or:

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge."

There's one or two more intro texts.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Help I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone!

Place is a mad house, feels like being cloned.

My beacon's been moved under moon and star,

Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?

  • Golden Earring
[–] Tikiporch 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Never actually knew the lyrics to that song. Just mumbles until the last word of each line.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LaunchesKayaks 21 points 11 months ago

SCP material

[–] bruhduh 21 points 11 months ago

"Restaurant in another world" anime be like

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If they were in Asia, this is normal. The best places pop up and before you get used to it, they are gone.

[–] residentmarchant 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What's the reasoning for this? Are people setting up stalls to make ends meet temporarily or do they get shut down by someone?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

A variety of reasons. Some move around as different days brings different crowds. Some only open when they need money and take a break when they do not. Some go out of business as they were just not good at managing their operations yet their food was amazing. Some get sick. Some just move around the block as they were on someone’s turf. Sure there are other reasons but getting shutdown by the police seems to not really happen here much unless you are in front of a government building or a some wealthy property. Out side of that it is a free for all. At least here in Vietnam.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Pregnenolone 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)
[–] kautau 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A flavor to surpass Sodium Chloride!?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Molecules, son.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Hrrrngh Colonel, I'm trying cook some food but it's dummy umami and the aroma from my meal keeps alerting the guards

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a place like this in my town. They know their food is bomb ass good and they still manage to be excited you’re there to eat even though the place is filthy

[–] frickineh 19 points 11 months ago

Honestly, the best Chinese food comes from places where you can see the whole kitchen, everything is a little covered in grease, and there are boxes of supplies in the hall. If the place is too clean and organized, the food is probably just ok. I found my first holy grail at my first real adult job and mourned it for years when I left and then about a year ago I found the second and I'm pretty sure I'm singlehandedly responsible for about half their business.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Anon didn't pay, now the restaurant is bankrupt

[–] EdherJr 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)
[–] STRIKINGdebate2 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My theory is that OP died and went to hell and his eternal punishment was getting the best food ever and never being able to experience that again.

[–] quams69 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Confirmed, we are all in hell

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It seems that the poster had broken into someone’s home and demanded dinner at 1am. Not so “whoa, dude” now, is it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Op has a dream

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

It's like that one How I Met Your Mother episode

load more comments
view more: next ›