this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023

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684

WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL (mander.xyz)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Just play Black Metal, they're wearing corpse paint anyway

[–] Retrograde 21 points 11 months ago

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Under the first headline it shows that the sailors were using online platforms to share this tip. This reminds me of those viral messages of recharging your batteries in the microwave.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Only one explanation: The whales can access the internet

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

You'd think they'd just use Spotify then instead of hunting music boats

[–] homesweethomeMrL 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah when I think about how to calm wild animals down, blasting metal is my go-to.

FFS.

[–] BleatingZombie 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

... I have a cat that falls asleep with loud metal music

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Cats are just a whole other being of existence. My cat fell asleep next to the wooden cabinet that I'm hammering down at full force, but got scared shitless and zooming to hide when I dropped a spoon.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Because of, or in spite of the music?

[–] slumlordthanatos 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

WHEN YOUR SEE THE WHITE WHALE

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

BREAK YOUR BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS MEN

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

IF YOU WISH TO PREVAIL

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Have they considered befriending the whales, or at least bribing them?

[–] Haggunenons 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Killer Whales and humans have a long history of friendship and cooperative hunting. The orcas would lead people to large balleen whales, and the humans would spear them, taking most of the meat, but leaving the lips and tongue as payment to the Orcas.

[–] anarchy79 13 points 11 months ago

This was before we turned their habitat into a toxic sludge superfreeway and exterminated their food supply.

[–] Shazbot 9 points 11 months ago

Was thinking something similar. What if the whales just don't like the sailors' taste in heavy metal? Have we tried passing the aux to the whales? This could be a valuable learning experience.

[–] woodenskewer 23 points 11 months ago

Get out of the pit if you can't hang, boat.

[–] gibmiser 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm rooting for the orcas. Can't blame them.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That gen'd? Looks neat apart from text

[–] Holyhandgrenade 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Time to play the game: Is it AI or is it Dutch?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oh shit it Dutch? Didn't intend to offend, friend.

I can usually kinda tell what a Dutch text says (am norwegian), but this time it was particularly difficult

[–] Holyhandgrenade 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Haha I don't think it's actually Dutch, I meant that as a joke lol
Jeg bor også i Norge

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[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts 4 points 11 months ago

It's not dutch. Source: I'm dutch

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah there’s some funky hand/arm stuff too which implies generated art.

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[–] The2b 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I promise you, their solution will be "murder the orcas"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

…it’s the easy answer so it’s the most likely.

[–] anarchy79 3 points 11 months ago

That has been the solution to a non-existent problem for the better part of a century.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Honestly we deserve it. Orcas are considered sapient and on par with human intelligence by many experts, and one could argue we're colonizing them.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Its not colonization if you can't change their hearts and minds. Shit, we can't even communicate. This is more like war.

[–] bouh 11 points 11 months ago

Like genocide.

[–] anarchy79 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Colonization requires zero convincing of hearts and minds, where did you get that from?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Well, usually when you colonize, you destroy the native tongue and culture, to better assimilate them into your own. Spread the word of the good lord and all that. But I guess you can colonize mars, so I guess it's not a requirement. My mistake. I wouldn't say we're colonizing orcas, though.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Highly relevant and highly recommend: https://youtu.be/DOWUHqDZjrA?si=Lf9Et_WycIcry6S9

[–] Skanky 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Also highly recommended "alternative" video for the same awesome song: https://youtu.be/I53HDr0-Qew?si=bI0uTUD5tgS6rLRZ

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[–] benni 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

NOW I CAN SEE THE WALES LOOMING OUT OF THE DARK

[–] Gutek8134 4 points 11 months ago

Like arrows in the sky

I can't believe my eyes, but it's true

[–] kaffiene 4 points 11 months ago

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLEEESSS!!!!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I see an expert in YT saying that you can calm a Cougar with "pspspspsps".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Must be playing Metalcore, I'd pummel them too

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

🥲

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Maybe they dislike the genre and while some swim away others might tackle the issue more hands on.

The point I'm trying to make is: Have Saylors tried Taylor Swift?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

It was all good until the parallel evolution of the orca circle pit

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Gets orcas pumped and ready to thrash

[–] rockSlayer 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Must have accidentally played their favorite song, Go into the Water

[–] kaffiene 4 points 11 months ago

Kudos for the post title. Well played =)

[–] lwuy9v5 3 points 11 months ago

Gojira really was ahead of it's time https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Qqg8bsDayak

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