this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
869 points (96.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26965 readers
4636 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because as a society we've forgotten how to throw bricks at bad people

[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Worse, we're throwing piles of money at them.

[–] DigitalTraveler42 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"but they're entertaining!"

[–] suction 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This right here. Germans thought Hitler was "entertaining", too, for a while.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] theragu40 76 points 1 year ago (1 children)

$10M??

I'd take $10. Seriously. I mean I guess unless the meal was fully paid for and pretty fancy. But with either of these two donuts that feels like hardly a given.

$10 is a sure bet.

[–] EhEhraughn 9 points 1 year ago

I mean, I'd put odds on either of them leaving you with the check for dinner, because you received the "honor" of dining with them.

[–] 9point6 69 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Honestly the amount could be $10 and I'd take it. I don't get why anyone would want to share the same air as either of these people

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You could take the time to hit them in the face.

But I'd still rather take no money at all.

[–] FlyingSquid 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sadly, Andrew Tate has been punched in the face many times and it's done nothing to change him.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Perhaps he has actual brain damage and didn't go to the doctor because that's not alpha :(

[–] RGB3x3 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The real alpha thing is going to the doctor and taking care of your health so you can outlive all the loser betas.

Guaranteed Tate has a team of nutritionists and trainers to keep him fit. Almost nobody is that bulky and toned without help.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who said anything about changing him? I just wanna have fun.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JunctionSystem 12 points 1 year ago

Cat: To slip poison into their food, duh.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd pay $1000 to not have to sit with those two assholes for dinner.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] coheedcollapse 63 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The funniest shit is these sad dudes are probably clamoring to say they'd take dinner with Musk in hopes they'd somehow magically unlock the secret to being rich, totally unaware of the fact that the "secret" is to start with enough wealth to get that first leg-up, and no amount of lobster dinner with Musk will change the fact that they will never have his money.

Not sure why anyone would want dinner with Tate unless they wanted to get into human trafficking.

Take the $10 million, ya dinguses.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 13 points 1 year ago

I feel like the only way Tate would get you into human trafficking would be by trafficking you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

"But having a photo of me sucking papa musk's dick while scamdrew tate rams my ass will be priceless! Besides, I'll mint a NFT and it'll totally sell for more than that!"

Considering the folks you can find on xitter, it shouldn't be too hard to find someone thinking exactly that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jackcooper 63 points 1 year ago

You wouldn't be able to pay me to be seen with Tate

I don't like Musk much at all but I'd prob pay $100 to eat dinner with him and try to figure out wtf the rationale for some of his moves has been.

The psychopaths who think they can get Musk/JayZ/etc to be their sugar daddy and find their wildest dreams or suddenly teach them how to be rich fucks...yeah they kind of scare me

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

dInNeR WiTh eLoN BeCaUsE He wOuLd tEaCh mE HoW To mAkE 10 mIlLiOn dOlLaRs

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Step 1: have $1Bn ready

Step 2: collect interest rates

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Elon goes more like...

Step 1: Have $1b

Step 2: Lose $990m

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HonoraryMancunian 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The initial question is so stupid that I'm wondering if it's a troll. 99.9% of even hardcore fans of both would obviously take the ten million fucking dollars.

[–] zakobjoa 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I screen capped this myself (I know – rare) and I can assure you, the account is not a troll. Or they've transcended to some other plane of existence and keep trolling from there.

And the top comments were, apart from a few people mocking them, mostly arguing between options A and B. Since comments of users with Twitter Blue show up first, that even makes sense. Many were sure you'd have those 10 million in a year or two after meeting those geniuses.

Don't ask me why or how. I am pondering daily if the internet maybe failed and if we should just shut it all down.

[–] HonoraryMancunian 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Many were sure you'd have those 10 million in a year or two after meeting those geniuses.

That's some next-level delusion, but sadly I can believe it. Although I'm certain nearly all of them would actually take the money if it were a real situation, but they either don't realise it, or they're "virtue signaling" to their fellow online douche fans.

Also, 10 million in a year or two? Take it now, lol. Do they really think there are parallel timelines where the meet 'n' greet option is the one where'd they'd end up netting significantly more in the long run?

Also

I screen capped this myself

For a split second I read this as "I crapped myself". Lol.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Dinner with musk so I cqnshove my fork in his eyesocket

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey now we'll have no talk like that here on Corporate Ad Platform. We only allow violence that's endorsed by the state.

Honestly it's so nice to be able to just laugh at this and not worry about a corporate sponsor banning you over it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] trebor8201 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is he making a vagina with his fingers?

[–] Aganim 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks, good to know I'm not the only one who noticed that. As for your answer, I have no idea. But my guess would be some hidden longing to get screwed himself, makes me wonder how often he dropped the soap in that Romanian jail..

[–] Brocon 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He learned that trick from former german chancelor Angela Merkel. "Merkel-Raute" is the term.

[–] TheControlled 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd really like to have dinner with them! Then after a bottle of wine or two, maybe I'd get up and slowly walk behind their chair. My hands playfully walking up their arm, and I'd kiss the back of their head and whisper "I've been looking forward to this".

Then I would drop them into their chairs with trucker ties and duct tape, having paid off the whole restaurant with the 10 million I stole from the asshole who put me up to this question.

Then it would be a slow, methodical interrogation, culminating in dentistry tools in a handgun to ask them why the hell they say the stupid shit they say and if they really even believe it. I'd like to be a time traveler that could do this to all kinds of sick and or evil fucks throughout time.

In case anyone thinks I'm being serious, I'm just joking. But I do genuinely wonder what they would say under such circumstances

[–] aviationeast 10 points 1 year ago

"Twice the pride double the fall." - OP as he wines, dines, and brutally torture two rich shitbags.

[–] RGB3x3 21 points 1 year ago

Tate just looks like an absolute twat in that outfit. Like his mom dressed him for school picture day in last year's clothes that don't fit anymore.

[–] JunctionSystem 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cat: Hey, don't knock an opportunity for a dinner with a shitstain billionaire. You'll never have a better chance to kill them.

[–] RGB3x3 11 points 1 year ago

Oh what I'd give for the opportunity to just lay right into Elon Musk's ego. You could really tell him off and based on his behavior on Twitter, he's a baby who can't take criticism, so it'd really hurt.

That being said, I'm taking the 10M.

[–] Cruxifux 17 points 1 year ago

Wtf is Tate news? Jesus Christ man.

[–] assassin_aragorn 17 points 1 year ago

So you can make that check out to...

[–] ikidd 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Something tells me both these assholes wear shoes with no socks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

or or?

And which thing is applying to which person? I need the joke explained :(

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not specific, it's just making the point that the options being given are something bad, something bad, or something good. Pretty obvious choice to anybody with half a brain.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

OHHHHHHHH. Duh.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ekZepp 11 points 1 year ago

I would like to have my 10 million, now! 🫱

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I think the real scenario is that, after going to dinner with either of them, you'll get a 10m dollar bill in the mail.

[–] TheProtagonist 8 points 1 year ago

What is this? A battle about how stupid a question / choice can get? Sounds like 5th grade schoolyard fun. Anyway, I take the chainsaw…

[–] Transcriptionist 7 points 1 year ago

Image Transcription:

X post by user Tate News @TateNews_ reading: Dinner with Elon Musk or dinner with Andrew Tate? The 3rd option is $10M cash. Accompanied by side-by-side photos of Elon Musk from the waist up with his hands folded in his lap and a full-body photo of Andrew Tate leaning forward in his chair with his hands steepled in his lap.

Above the post is a reply from user Shahak Shapira @ShahakShapira reading: Death by a chainsaw or or losing your parents? The 3rd option is a 90 meter yacht.

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Hmmm, will Musk let me in on his next pump and dump scheme?

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›