this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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    Important: never execute code or follow advice that you don't understand or can't verify, especially here. The word of the day is credibility. This is a meme community -- even the most helpful comments might just be shitposts that can damage your system. Be aware, be smart, don't remove France.

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    [–] ZILtoid1991 16 points 2 days ago

    please apt install clang

    User isn't in polite boy list. This incident will be reported.

    [–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

    I prefer to use kudasai ... but as some may already know, it should be at the end of the ~~sentence~~ command πŸ˜…, so I added a custom hook to my ZSH config to make it run commands as pacman -Syu kudasai.

    Essentially you can add any type of string matching in the function. Add this to the end of your .zshrc file:

    function kudasai_preexec() {
        # Check if the last word is ' kudasai'
        if [[ $1 == *" kudasai" ]]; then
            # Remove ' kudasai' and prepend 'sudo'
            cmd=${1%" kudasai"}
            eval "sudo $cmd"
            # Prevent the original command from running
            return 1
        fi
    }
    
    # Register the preexec hook
    autoload -Uz add-zsh-hook
    add-zsh-hook preexec kudasai_preexec
    

    Edit: as downside you always get 1 exit code with this implementation ~(little_annoying)~ .

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

    damn, this is some next level shit

    [–] stetech 2 points 1 day ago

    Why does it compare against $1 for the string match? Wouldn’t kudasai be at the end of something like $*?

    [–] amon 10 points 2 days ago
    [–] docoptix 9 points 2 days ago

    please shutdown

    THIS INCIDENT WILL BE REPORTED.

    [–] LeroyJenkins 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

    I'm scared of you

    [–] LovableSidekick 58 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

    side note: My all-time favorite linux utility is "fuck". When you make a mistake and get a command line error, you type the word fuck and it looks at what you previously typed and the error message, and tries to figure out your mistake and what you should have typed instead. Then it types that in for you. If it's correct all you have to do is hit Enter. Or you can edit first, but it's usually right. Amazing tool, and doesn't even use AI, just a list of common errors. It's been around for years and years. Its mere existence really captures the whole culture of linux IMO.

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

    See, I couldn't bring myself to type that; I think I'd have to alias it to 'bother'.

    [–] Rooty 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

    Its name is dangerously close to fsck. Can you fuck fsck?

    [–] LovableSidekick 12 points 3 days ago

    That's the beauty of it - you can!

    [–] Ziglin 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    I might actually do this, it seems nice.

    [–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

    suddenly makes the xkcd much more wholesome too

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    [–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

    please rm -rf /

    [–] [email protected] 58 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    I aint typing out 'please', I will compromise on alias plz='sudo'

    [–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago
    alias ty='exit'
    
    [–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago

    shit, that's a radical move

    [–] [email protected] 99 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    alias go-go-gadget=sudo

    $ go-go-gadget apt update

    [–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    alias bridge-to-engineering=sudo

    [–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

    alias computer=sudo

    [–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago
    $ scotty-i-need-more cowbell
    
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    [–] gi1242 149 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    please remove the French language pack

    please rm -fr /*
    [–] heartbreaker 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

    For people that don't get the joke: this messes up your system

    [–] ivanafterall 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

    If you're out of the loop: this is part of the joke tricking people into dedicating precious hard drive space to an unnecessary language pack.

    [–] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago

    Some people just wanna see the world burn

    [–] Zron 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

    Now a days you have add β€”no-preserve root after the laggy French pack to fully remove it.

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

    Not with the asterisk! The shell automatically expands the asterisk before sending the args to rm, removing every French language pack in your root directory.

    [–] [email protected] 174 points 3 days ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

    Make sure to combine it with Disallow /harm/to/humans

    [–] cm0002 159 points 3 days ago (14 children)

    Or do the opposite for..relief

    Fucking mv doc doc1

    Fucking shutdown

    [–] [email protected] 121 points 3 days ago (10 children)
    [–] [email protected] 65 points 3 days ago

    please touch my-doc πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

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    [–] ikidd 51 points 3 days ago (1 children)
    [–] JohnnyMac 17 points 3 days ago

    I much prefer this package for my fuck command https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

    [–] [email protected] 73 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)
    $ alias please="sudo"  
    
    $ alias stay="shutdown"  
    
    $ please stay_  
    
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    [–] jrgn 22 points 3 days ago

    alias yabbadabbasudo=sudo

    It's impractical and I often forget that I have it. But the times I remember I laugh a bit

    [–] [email protected] 70 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    This from the OS that made me have to do a search for "how to kill children".

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    [–] Offbus 68 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    Nah, uh, uh. You didn’t say the magic word!

    [–] pennomi 68 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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    [–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

    also set up insults in sudoers for a unique experience

    [–] Shady_Shiroe 34 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

    Alias albert=apt

    please albert-get update
    

    Edit: oops sorry didn't mean to reply to your comment, I'm on mobile so I thought was new comment

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