this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 30 comments
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[–] JoeTheSane 9 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

There’s no way this is effective. I’ve owned cats for just about all my 48 years, and if a cat wants to show you its asshole, which it does, you are seeing that asshole. Likely from about 12” away.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 hours ago

And then the cat takes a shit and congrats, Mr. Fluffypaws' butt is now grosser than ever.

[–] 2ugly2live 18 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I like the idea of a cat owner laying in bed, wide awake, trying to figure out how to cover their cats butthole.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Shou 2 points 3 hours ago

Can't fault the guy...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 hours ago

Don't forget explaining that it is necessary to help individuals who come into your home control any unnatural urges which may be triggered by the sight of your cat's very sexy butthole.

[–] MissJinx 110 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

if it bothers you to look at assholes, getting a cat is a bad idea.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 hours ago

Or a sex partner

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 hours ago

Mirrors, too, for that matter.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 17 hours ago

I'm NOT cleaning the inevitable mess when shit gets stuck to that, and gets deposited back all over their rear end (and everywhere they go) as this "fashion accessory" bounces around.

[–] cm0002 26 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Death_Equity 95 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

Cats have a butthole and it is often visible. People have a problem with seeing their cats' turd cutters and cats do not like to wear pants, made less likely by the largely cottage cat pants industry making feline fashion out of the reach of most. The solution is to bedazzle your cats' balloon knot with a jeweled medallion that hangs from their tail so you don't have to see their chocolate starfish.

How much your cats may appreciate something perpetually grazing their leather cheerio depends on the cat.

Rosebud, rusty sheriff's badge, fart box, smelly frekle, crinkled star, cinnamon ring.

[–] AngryCommieKender 7 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Keep going, this is a decent start to a standup routine

[–] [email protected] 22 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Looks like someone's been reading the Thesaurarse / Thesaurass.

[–] Death_Equity 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I'm just a connoisseur of slang.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Seems like conn-ass-eur might be more accurate.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 hours ago

You mean the synonymicon?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Your last sentence is like garnish on a beautiful dinner.

[–] Death_Equity 29 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I couldn't draw out the post long enough with the motivation available to include enough euphemisms for the anal sphincter, so I just included most of the ones I wanted to use so ya'll could enjoy them and maybe find some new ones.

[–] Landless2029 6 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

I can't believe you didn't include chocolate starfish.

[–] Death_Equity 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Literally the last two words of the first paragraph.

[–] Landless2029 3 points 3 hours ago

Oh... Well shit I was so focused on rereading the list one i missed the real one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago

Or the hot dog flavoured water

[–] [email protected] 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

It is in the text at the end

[–] papalonian 7 points 14 hours ago

That's why they can't believe it

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs 15 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 14 hours ago

The brown eye

[–] [email protected] 14 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Community relevance checks out.

[–] daggermoon 5 points 13 hours ago
[–] random_character_a 11 points 16 hours ago

Will function properly for 0,5 seconds.