Microblog Memes

And pasta has been made

One time I was throwing kid toys into the toybox when suddenly a horse whinny came out of the box. I thought Frau Blücher had showed up.

Goodbye wifi and cellular coverage.

Cat girls are not furries. And I'm willing to die on this hill.

Isn't gambling bad? Why is that in heaven?

🤔

The Good Place Season 1 Spoilers

Could it be... that...

THIS

IS

THE BAD PLACE!

😱

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church

do the cross

Me, stripping off and getting hard

A plain reading suggests that everyone is dead and stays that way until the eschaton when they're resurrected. So the only people in heaven would be the Jewish souls that Jesus directly put there that had been dwelling in the gloomy underground afterlife.

heaven is not a place you go. it's a state of you, your surroundings and the world. we create it not get taken to it. that's the hard part people don't get. NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE US, WE WILL NOT BE MAGICALLY TELEPORTED ANYWHERE

The Bible says everyone goes to heaven at the same time.

I don’t think that’s clear in the text, and that’s historically been a major point of theological contention. I think the debate in the US 1800s over “soul sleep” and the affiliated quasi-cults that sprung up after the Millerite movement (Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovahs Witnesses) had very strong opinions on whether you go to heaven immediately, stay “asleep” in the ground until God starts resurrecting people, wait in some kind of cosmic waiting room for the resurrections, or if you are just flat out dead until God wakes you up. (Of course, JW’s are so committed to bad exegesis that they’ll die rather than receive a blood infusion, because “don’t eat animal blood” in the ritual purity laws of course means “don’t receive human blood infusions.”)

Think about Mormon baptism for the dead. Those people aren’t in heaven or hell (because at least the lower kingdoms of heaven aren’t even set up yet - all of us non-Mormons are going to be hanging out on Earth 2.0 when we die). Mormons are experts at genealogy because they’re trying to make sure that every great-great-great-great-grandparent they have gets a chance at salvation.

Yeah, they hadn't figured out relativity yet back then. The soul departs the body at the speed of light, meaning everyone who does reaches heaven instantly. Since it's so far away, from our perspective, it takes essentially forever thanks to time dilation.

You can trust me, I have a PhD in bullshit.

Yes, that's what purgatory is for, it's basically a waiting room before heaven

Maybe gramma gobbled nut sacks all year round? That stuff could be hereditary.

Or once you see the private lives of every person, all the time, you quickly understand that everyone does weird shit in private and voyeurism just loses its novelty entirely. People fucking or picking their nose will be no more interesting that someone walking down the street.