this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
564 points (96.1% liked)

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[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey 225 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Option 3 means that the Javascript standards team dies either way, right? Number 3. No hesitation.

[–] Skullgrid 66 points 1 week ago (18 children)

the c++ team is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. can we just shoot Brendan Eich in the head if he's not in there too?

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey 40 points 1 week ago

Push him onto the pressure pad. Make it his fault.

[–] RoyaltyInTraining 12 points 1 week ago

I feel like all C++ does these days is badly and very slowly copy other languages. It wouldn't be a huge loss.

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[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey 81 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Javascript Standards Team is such an Oxymoron.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, didn't know there was a standard committee and can't believe how inept they are.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] TheGiantKorean 19 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

“You and your entire family” means “All life on Earth”.

That should make the decision somewhat easier.

[–] trxxruraxvr 11 points 1 week ago

If you make it "all human live" it starts to look quite attractive again

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

By my definition, family is who you treat like family.

[–] Donkter 6 points 1 week ago

I try to treat everyone I meet like family

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[–] eager_eagle 29 points 1 week ago

there might be an argument that JavaScript kills more than a nuclear bomb

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Ok so this one just isn't fair.

Two possibilities end up with me dead, two end up with millions dead, and one ends up with me being unemployed.

Sorry not sorry Team A and B, sacrifices must be made.

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[–] zib 24 points 1 week ago

I'd take my odds with the bottom track.

[–] passiveaggressivesonar 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Assuming it is in the US, at 4.5 million it can only be San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

would the bomb also kill javascript and C++ or would I have to keep throwing trolleys at it until I get both silicon valley and the JS/C++ devs?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

At that distance it also kills you, so it sounds like a good deal. No regrets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

win win win

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

A Mark VI only has a 18 to 160 kiloton yield.

Can we replace it with a B83?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Well, you can take yourself out of the equation because you're not tied down and can just move after flipping the switch.

chooses bottom track

"C'mon...c'mon!"

trolley heads towards committe members

"Dammit!"

runs over and jumps on the nuclear bomb pressure pad

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've played enough X-COM to know that 50/50 is actually 100%, I just don't know which way. Better trigger it!!

[–] darkbaron202 9 points 1 week ago

30%? Let me deliver that shot with crit across the map to your teammate hunkered down behind full cover for you!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll take the 50/50 because those are some damn good odds!

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Joke's on you I hate myself and my family

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are we in the blast zone of the nuke?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe we could use Javascript to direct a simple robot to set the lever while we remain at a safe distance?

Maybe the real solution to this diagram is to nuke it from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But the robot has to run windows vista

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

And have a valid Apple developer account?

[–] Evotech 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Am I in the Metropolitan area?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You are on track A and the bomb is within sight. If you get the shit end of the 50/50, everyone in the diagram would be vaporized instantly

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So you're saying there's a 100% chance the comitees get vaporized by choosing the bottom track.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well, no.

In scenario A they are instantly vaporized. In scenario B they are brutally sliced into multiple pieces and crushed to death, rather painfully depending on the speed of the trolley.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

You need to study up on your trolleys. That's clearly a Vaporizer Trolleynator 3000.

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[–] zzx 5 points 1 week ago

I like those odds

[–] Iceman 5 points 1 week ago

There is at least one user here in the superposition of being on two tracks at once.

[–] Nublets 5 points 1 week ago

Middle track. Then I have plenty of time to hotwire the nuke with my handy dandy mallet

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Fuck the metro I guess.

[–] Ziglin 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Now how do I get it to drift over everything but teams a and b?

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