this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ehh....

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-05-10-we-2559-story.html

The Duck Wars : Mating season is a brutal time for the female birds, who often are injured or die. Residents along the canals have created a sanctuary.

This is mating season, and, as the ducks’ human friends will tell you, it’s no Disney movie. These are ducks out of a Far Side cartoon, says one observer: They should have jackets that read “Hell’s Waterfowl.”

The ducks of the Venice canals, most of them crossbred mallards officially known as urban domesticated ducks, engage in mating behavior that is hard on the females in the best of times. A female that wanders near a group of males will be mounted again and again. Females that escape alive drag themselves out of the water stripped of the feathers on their heads and backs. Some lose an eye.

[–] Lemminary 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You can't just leave out the most important part!

The ducks' dicks, which are surprisingly long and twisting, will forcefully and rapidly grow inside the female. I can only imagine the pain and the struggle. This has led to an evolutionary arms race between the sexes, where females have evolved dead-ends in their vaginas in an effort to curb impregnation from rape.

Isn't nature wonderful?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Corkscrew penis is what it's called at least in Germany and I think this is pretty accurate...

[–] deathmetal27 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reminds me of that "Scientifically accurate Duck Tales" animation. It's nearly impossible to find these days.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 8 points 1 week ago

Daaaaaaaamn. This should be a horror movie concept. A group of college students on campus hear stories of wild orgies down by the lake.

The ones who investigate and participate enter a world of pain. An orgy so hardcore, body hair gets ripped off, and you're lucky to make it out alive.

Like Freddie Kruger, but horny!

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean, both humans and animal flirt like all of the panels.

Plants on the other hand are more kinky.

[–] wabafee 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You got me interested, you gotta share more.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Just indiscriminately jizz in the air, all over yourself and your lovers kilometres away ... and make anything in between breathe it.

But after a few 100 million years some invertebrate cucks offered (their faces and asses) to personally transport the jizz to suitable partners, so you can do that now if you are into it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You should absolutely teach science classes

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Well, jizz wouldn't be the accurate term then, but you gotta keep them interested, right?

But I would try to keep it accurate, after all, trees are just a kind of furry (leaffy?). Just look how juicy their juices are.

Or this jizzery: youtube/AlmH_33QCu8

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Put a fucking NSFW tag on that shit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Never been to a furry&leaffy con, have you?

[–] kaklerbitmap 8 points 1 week ago

If female cannabis plants don't get the jizz they crave, their flowers get all plump and sticky as they cry out "plz pollinate me, daddy"

[–] wabafee 7 points 1 week ago
[–] hakunawazo 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Great...now I will never ever blow a dandelion nor touch a touch-me-not again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Harder!
I mean, yes, you don't have to, but it would be pretty cool if you did.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yellow Pines are the Peter North of trees.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It occurs to me to ask, is this why you're evil?

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or they’d open their window and sing out “wanna fuck?”

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

I mean the house would more like the pile of junk and the dancing would be naked and the pile of junk would be like the shiniest one thing from the pile. Could you imagine if women reacted favorably to such simple expressions. fourth panel would be I bought you dinner.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago

I mean successful men flirt like this actually

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Second and third one kinda happens even if on a smaller scale

[–] SkunkWorkz 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

First also happens but they end relationships rather than start one. How many marriages have failed because of a DIY reno project that halted progress for years.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago

Ummmm, who's going to tell them?

[–] Toldry 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i showed u my ~~dick~~ cloaca pls respond

[–] hakunawazo 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

As someone who just got 2 dick pics a few minutes i just want to say that it does work a lot of the time.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Ha! Honestly, sure, anyone reading this, if you wanna send your pics, go right ahead. Lmao. It's not going to bother me. Once you've seen your first 100 nothing much shocks you anymore, and I've seen way more than that.

[–] TheBat 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't just ask for pics like that! Start charging for rating dicks. Yay capitalism!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Hey, now, don't tempt me with my dream career

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Caveat Emptor my friend

[–] Godric 5 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I may be wrong, but I think a lot of birds do basically exactly that

[–] Aeri 5 points 1 week ago

Point of order aren't bird calls basically just "SEX?"

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