this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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So I'm European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.

I don't wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.

I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.

I'm not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be "though" or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying "we will go through this this together" they often have this mentality "it's either me or you but it can't be both who will win". I mean I'm pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big "manly" pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more "rough" where they aren't super sensitive and don't really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).

But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they're better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.

And it feels like it's so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they're just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.

Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they're constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them "weak" even though in reality they're probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they're obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren't able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can't blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!

Some stuff that I've seen on American news like "Fox News" just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.

Even though many people were saying that Americans have this "fake friendliness" I'm thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they're becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they "don't give a f* about you".

Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they're actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.

I'm always thinking "dude, you need to chill" cause literally no one is attacking them and they're fully secure. But it seems like they're always searching for a fight or something.

It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can't just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn't work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!

It seems like many Americans generally have this "cruelness" about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can't even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and "America first". I really don't wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven't experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.

To me it feels like this won't end well and it feels like it's just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that's the only way they will finally learn if they're lacking these core morals and integrity and they don't get educated about that in school.

It also seems like they can't handle critique and can't admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it's not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.

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[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A lot of this is explained by poor reading comprehension mixed with paranoia.

Americans will read pretty much any comment in an aggressive, hostile tone by default

Hence the popularity of in-jokes on the internet, Americans can generally only recognise jokes if they already know them, or if they're telegraphed from a mile off (that's around 738 washing machines)

Anything else is assumed to be a personal attack. It doesn't help that a good chunk of them are also absolutely desperate to be offended on someone else's behalf all the time lol

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's not limited to just Americans, though. That's a global phenomenon.

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[–] Tilgare 6 points 1 week ago

The problem is unfettered capitalism. Our leaders are far more concerned about enriching themselves than acting on behalf of their constituents, so we've got this really jaded electorate.

And then as a dominant super power in the world, we've been targeted with enormous misinformation campaigns, both from our own "news sources" (Fox News is NOT real news, it's lies and half truths and proliferation of hatred!) and fake internet trolls. All of that on top of decades of political corruption, decades of businesses lobbying in their own best interest and spreading lies to support their position ("tobacco is safe and very cool!" "guns don't kill people", "weed is the root of all evil!", "pEoPlE ARe tERMinatInG 9 mOnTh oLd feTUseS anD bORn bABiEs!").

Conservatives have always been the temporarily embarrassed millionaires, and once they get theirs, fuck everyone else. Generations bought homes at affordable prices, then pulled the ladder up behind them and fuck all future generations. "Pull yourself up by your boot straps!" is sort of bullshit you get from them, but they didn't do that at all and they've broken the whole system in their favor.

Now conservatives are trying to break our educational system by banning books, banning subject discussion like evolution or slavery, foregoing sex education in favor of the provably bad "abstinence education". A country founded on "separation of church and state" is pushing harder and harder to make a "Christian nation" that doesn't and shouldn't exist. They want a stupid electorate making tons of babies who also grow up stupid and vote for them. The majority of Americans are liberal and have genuine sympathy and compassion for others, so before they wake up and actually get involved, the conservatives have to breed up a bunch of idiots they can convince real easily to vote their way.

All that to say... I don't think it's going to get any better anytime soon. Get me the fuck out of this place.

[–] kipo@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would argue that any actual increased aggression could simply be attributed to the state of the country (the US federal government is broken) and the fact that most US americans are not having their needs met financially. The billionaires who run the system dramatically increased the prices of everything that's not optional to pay for: food, housing, insurance, etc..

People feel helpless, overworked, and angry.

[–] tehevilone 2 points 1 week ago

This is how I feel, and I know a lot of folks who are in a similar boat. We're sold this story of being financially stable, having a house, a car, and being able to retire, but for a lot of Americans that is looking more and more like a pipe dream each day.

The poorly educated/informed people eat up the propaganda like candy, vote against their own interests, and tear down everyone around them in hopes that they'll be on top one day, and it simply won't happen in the present state our country is in.

[–] Bytemeister 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I'm gonna bring up a slightly different take on the situation.

2001, during the walk between my 1st period and 2nd period class, my country changed forever. My math teacher had a shocked look on his face, he put the radio on, and told us that it was very important to listen, as we will never forget this moment. An airplane had hit the world trade center. I remember the bell going off, going to my history class, and shortly afterwards, being told that the busses were coming back to take my classmates home. They were terrified, that their school busses would be attacked and that they wouldn't make it home. I found my brother and we walked home early that day. I got home in time to see my mom staring at the TV, which was surreal on its own because she hates TV. By the time I go home, the towers were falling.

That moment was a catalyst for irrational hate and fear taking over the US. Anti-musilm hate (if you can even call it that sophisticated and targeted, really just anyone the right shade of brown) really took off. I remember hearing about men being assaulted and having their beards shaved. Women had their head covering confiscated, and mosques became a primary target for yahoos and bigots to deface and burn. A few years later I remember and popular jingle about bombing Afghanistan, not specifically the Taliban or Al-Qaeda, but just Afghanistan in general. Hate became more mainstream and visible to me than ever. Sure, the US wasn't perfect before, but for my generation, 9/11 was the moment that "Othering" people who didn't look like you, talk like you, and pray like you, became not just a coping mechanism, but a core identity for a significant portion of the USA. If you spoke out about the irrational hate, you were Un-American, or a traitor. My father took me to see Fahrenheit 911, and I remember hearing about protestors attacking theaters that were playing the movie, and people that were buying tickets for it.

Anyway, that's my two cents on where millennials (at least) got their hate enemas from.

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Americans are have lived through so much. Two buildings were demolished.

[–] Bytemeister 2 points 1 week ago

You aren't wrong that other people have it much worse. I don't think the hate we've developed post 9/11 is proportional or justified compared to the scale of the attack. I wasn't trying to do that with my post, I was trying to explain when and why I saw a shift in how Americans treat each other internally.

[–] open_mind@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I think Americans experienced way too much unnecessary trauma, uncertainties and weird life events in general that probably made them fearful/put them in survival mode and it turned into anger. It is definitely understandable from a psychological perspective to a point.

[–] renrenPDX@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago

People cannot handle social media and its impact on society, period.

[–] atrielienz 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Can you give some hard examples of what you mean, and a contrast of what you would expect from a non-american please? I'm reading through this post and I don't know what you're seeing. It's not clear to me given what you wrote so it's hard to pinpoint which behaviors you're referring to.

A lot of the things you bring up (about guns and walking safety at night and sending kids to school) doesn't jive and sounds quite a bit like media washing the entire country. Like. Yes. Guns are legal and lots of people have them. I don't see guns on a daily basis and even when I lived in a particularly crime prone area for the most part gun violence wasn't my main concern.

The thing about corporal punishment of children is that what's legal and illegal varies by state but it's not outright outlawed to spank children (and I was absolutely not spanked, but beaten as a kid).

But there's a reason the public hasn't broken out in violent opposition of the government as a whole (the liberal majority I mean) and it's twofold. Americans don't generally want to have to do violence to force change. If we did there would be a lot more Luigi's, Trump shooters, and BLM founders out there advocating in public for violence against the system and the people who uphold it.

Additionally, people don't want to get involved with that if it means that it will significantly detrimentally affect their lives (which in a lot of cases is very much true). Living in between the "eat the rich/guillotine" idealism and the realism of making it day to day is hard and it doesn't allow a lot of fertile ground for empathy and perhaps that's what you're seeing.

People have too much still to lose for a civil war to be particularly viable. They haven't reached a level of desperation that will allow most of them to commit indiscriminate violence against the system. But also, the education system has been decimated and so they don't think they understand the system well enough to effect change and that goes hand in hand with not getting involved in politics, lobbying, or playing the long game to indoctrinate liberals in a similar fashion to the way conservatives have been indoctrinated (but for the opposite view point, meaning incensing them to make change via a more long and arduous process that has lasting effects). We didn't see Roe v Wade get dismantled overnight. That was the result of decades of conservative movement. We haven't been actively and cohesively trying to counter that with our own movements.

I'd also like to add that the vast majority of people live in cities where nature isn't easily accessible and time isn't given to them to enjoy it. I work something like 60 hours a week. Some people work more than that. The system is directly designed to keep people tired, poor, ignorant, and just desperate enough to continue to participate in the system. So yes, we are disconnected from nature in a lot of ways.

[–] SocialMediaRefugee 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I think the combination of access to anonymous social media, or at least access to media without any physical interaction, leads to a lack of empathy and hostile behavior. Then you have the echo chamber effect where any group has its beliefs amplified and the extreme members get the most attention. It is trivial to react hostilely and leave a comment like "Go kill yourself" on someone's post. The other person is just a block of text to you. When I write something I have to reread it a few times to determine "How will someone misinterpret this negatively?" and sometimes I feel like I'm writing for an audience of rabid dogs just itching to bite me. All too often even the most innocuous comment will still get a ridiculously hostile response. I'd say this isn't just an American issue on the internet either. I see it with Europeans and Asians. It is a human issue.

Sadly now negativity has become a kneejerk response. Every stranger's motivations are a personal attack on you, everything is part of some grand conspiracy aimed at you, etc. America's obsession with individualism vs society as a whole seems to have reduced everyone to a crazed survivalist hiding in their bunker.

"many Americans are physically beating their children"

I'd say this is MUCH less now than in the past and is now strictly enforced.

"you can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night"

Depends on where you live. There have always been "bad neighborhoods" in cities and this is true around the world. I have never felt in danger walking alone at night around my area. I'm sure there are neighborhoods in, say, Paris or Marseille you wouldn't walk around by yourself at night.

[–] open_mind@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

To be honest I don't care if I'm interacting online or not I try to be respectful cause I'm interacting with other humans.

Maybe I'm a little extreme on the other side but I have a lot of love for almost everything and really don't have much to complain about. I don't see the reason to tell someone something negative if I could say something positive instead.

I have this motto "If I don't have anything nice to say, I don't say anything at all". I think having more empathy and being more sensitive towards people is exactly what many Americans need. I'm not saying everyone is like this but most of the time I only hear what they don't like if you say you like this and that artist for example it's almost guaranteed that someone will say "I hate that artist" instead of "great music".

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago

Trumpism and MAGA

[–] yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

Car-centric infrastructure and American individualism have made USAmericans isolated and decimated communities and that has lead to a lot of bad things

[–] Blaze@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago

Feel free to crosspost to !AskUSA@discuss.online

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

Nah, it's older than that, watch Deathwish 2 and tell American boomers weren't itching for an excuse to murder teenagers.

[–] uebquauntbez 2 points 1 week ago

Using the unsocial 'social' networks?

[–] Pazintach@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The Americans I've met in real-life were quite chill, and reasonable. But on the Internet I too have a feeling that they are expressing stressfulness more. It seems to me they can freely talk about the things they hate, and they do it, to the point many things on the Internet about the US are those. And it's hard to touch grasses in Winter.

[–] Kaiyoto 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don't really know why. Since I was a kid it feels like there is so much more hate, so much more Red vs Blue. It feels like everyone assumes if you are republican or democrat that you must be far right or left. Gods forbid there are moderates. Gods forbid you care about your neighbor regardless of political or religious belief or the choices they make.

It feels like "fuck you I'm taking my share and screwing you over" in order to make it in this capitalist society. It feels like philanthropy is a joke, that rich people don't invest in it unless it's a tax break. It's funny we don't see new buildings built with art or frills outside. It's just cold, monolithic type buildings which are as cold as the assholes running it inside. Very few companies care about their customers or employees. They just want those quick profits for the quarter. Fuck everyone else as long as they get their share. They expect this profits to go on forever but they don't realize that it has to end sometime and I hope every one of those companies collapse because of how hollow they've become. I know these are weird things to focus on but I feel like they are symptoms of bigger problems. It shows what is becoming a primary value in society which is MONEY MONEY MONEY instead things like ethics or looking at the bigger picture.

And fuck all these politicians who are busy lining their pockets with gold. Gods forbid they act like civil servants or at least vote on what is best for the people. There are industries that will get you fined and imprisoned if you commit fraud or the APPEARANCE THERE OF. Politicians should have similar laws slapped on them. Same goes for the Supreme Court which has become a fucking joke.

I'm sure there's a lot of little reasons that add up to this shit. I'm sure politicians stomping on education has a lot to do with it. It feels like critical thinking is not a basic skill anymore. Sure we can blame ourselves a little, but is it really all our fault?

And Jesus christ this brain dead social media crap where people just shit all over the internet and post comments or videos full of lies or contraversial crap just to get clicks because of either bullshit popularity or once again MONEY MONEY MONEY.

I do what I can to tolerate and not create this division of the country and to do what I can locally in the political landscape but I feel powerless to make any real change. That powerlessness is frustrating and infuriating. So yeah, when I see one asshole Ceo get taken out I feel a little glee and I hope it sends a message. I don't wish ill will upon others, but I'm not going to not say "he had that coming." I don't know if that is what others in my country feel but that's how I feel.

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 1 points 1 week ago

It's always been the case that they fight over the screps billionaires leave for them. But traditionally they had so much friendliness and companionship in and between communities but as with everything since globalisation it was polarised by information tech. Megacorps are the new tribes and that will ruin the planet if it happens, well, already have basically. Any form of collaboration would help but it's so cool that competition breeds competence and great products right? Not remove respect for each other and nature right?

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