this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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So I'm European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.

I don't wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.

I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.

I'm not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be "though" or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying "we will go through this this together" they often have this mentality "it's either me or you but it can't be both who will win". I mean I'm pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big "manly" pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more "rough" where they aren't super sensitive and don't really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).

But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they're better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.

And it feels like it's so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they're just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.

Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they're constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them "weak" even though in reality they're probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they're obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren't able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can't blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!

Some stuff that I've seen on American news like "Fox News" just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.

Even though many people were saying that Americans have this "fake friendliness" I'm thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they're becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they "don't give a f* about you".

Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they're actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.

I'm always thinking "dude, you need to chill" cause literally no one is attacking them and they're fully secure. But it seems like they're always searching for a fight or something.

It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can't just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn't work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!

It seems like many Americans generally have this "cruelness" about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can't even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and "America first". I really don't wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven't experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.

To me it feels like this won't end well and it feels like it's just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that's the only way they will finally learn if they're lacking these core morals and integrity and they don't get educated about that in school.

It also seems like they can't handle critique and can't admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it's not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.

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[–] atrielienz 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Can you give some hard examples of what you mean, and a contrast of what you would expect from a non-american please? I'm reading through this post and I don't know what you're seeing. It's not clear to me given what you wrote so it's hard to pinpoint which behaviors you're referring to.

A lot of the things you bring up (about guns and walking safety at night and sending kids to school) doesn't jive and sounds quite a bit like media washing the entire country. Like. Yes. Guns are legal and lots of people have them. I don't see guns on a daily basis and even when I lived in a particularly crime prone area for the most part gun violence wasn't my main concern.

The thing about corporal punishment of children is that what's legal and illegal varies by state but it's not outright outlawed to spank children (and I was absolutely not spanked, but beaten as a kid).

But there's a reason the public hasn't broken out in violent opposition of the government as a whole (the liberal majority I mean) and it's twofold. Americans don't generally want to have to do violence to force change. If we did there would be a lot more Luigi's, Trump shooters, and BLM founders out there advocating in public for violence against the system and the people who uphold it.

Additionally, people don't want to get involved with that if it means that it will significantly detrimentally affect their lives (which in a lot of cases is very much true). Living in between the "eat the rich/guillotine" idealism and the realism of making it day to day is hard and it doesn't allow a lot of fertile ground for empathy and perhaps that's what you're seeing.

People have too much still to lose for a civil war to be particularly viable. They haven't reached a level of desperation that will allow most of them to commit indiscriminate violence against the system. But also, the education system has been decimated and so they don't think they understand the system well enough to effect change and that goes hand in hand with not getting involved in politics, lobbying, or playing the long game to indoctrinate liberals in a similar fashion to the way conservatives have been indoctrinated (but for the opposite view point, meaning incensing them to make change via a more long and arduous process that has lasting effects). We didn't see Roe v Wade get dismantled overnight. That was the result of decades of conservative movement. We haven't been actively and cohesively trying to counter that with our own movements.

I'd also like to add that the vast majority of people live in cities where nature isn't easily accessible and time isn't given to them to enjoy it. I work something like 60 hours a week. Some people work more than that. The system is directly designed to keep people tired, poor, ignorant, and just desperate enough to continue to participate in the system. So yes, we are disconnected from nature in a lot of ways.